When I am in my hometown, I try and stay there for a week (because of course I spent a lot of money travelling there and my parents like me being around, like all parents).
While I stay there for a week, I also (politely) make it clear to my family that I will still be working, and am not on a holiday. This is an amicable, verbal agreement between us.
However, like most cases of working from (parents’) home, this case also loses its sanctity, often repeatedly.
What that means is:
- When I tell my family I will be DND mode unless something urgent happens, they will still “shout” from outside relaying their messages, because hey, they can still speak! So what if I do not respond, they think I am still not disturbed 🙂
- Relatives (read: sisters, jijajis and nephews-nieces) show up unannounced, hoping to spend time together. When I greet them and get back to my room, I am literally thought as a villain who is ignoring their family “at the cost of getting successful”. Bruh, are we for real? 😀
- (Okay now we become a bit serious) Whenever I voice my concerns politely, they are given an angry yes followed by a no in actions lol.
All of this makes me think, why people who love their families still try to find wings outside of their hometowns. No one is born or grows up thinking they will leave their parents’ nest. At least during the time I grew up, that was not the norm.
However, everyone needs their chunk of privacy. Even kids need that – which is why it is best to let them wander in the emptiness looking outside the balcony instead of disturbing them and asking “what are you thinking”.
Look, I understand, family has the right over us more than anyone else. However, if we break boundaries in any damn relationship, we also fracture love.
Which is why, I think lack of respect of boundaries is where people want to create a nest outside of their home towns. Because at the end of the day, we all are people made up of love. If we do not get the respect every individual desires and deserves, we go create that for ourselves. And we do that because if we do not create that respect and boundary for ourselves, along with that respect for our own boundaries, we might also end up losing our love for our family.