Those text messages…

Yes, negativity IS real.

If you are a content creator, you will get people raising questions on what you do.
More so, if you are a female, you will have CXO’s texting you “Hi Sweetheart!”
If you are just a normal consumer, you will see your rights violated.

I understand, it’s real.

But here’s the truth:
– No negativity could ever stop a champion from growing, just because they were obsessed with it.
– No negativity could force a positive person to move from education to news.
– And, no negativity would ever be able to stop the flow of someone whose life is spent in figuring out “what’s next”.

Don’t fear negativity.
Fear the relentless, dedicated, positive people.

Because they change the world.
Because that is you, if you’re reading till here.

Because You have the power no one can take away.

Not even the people who say they care for you and leave you alone.
No one can take this power away from you.

How much power do you have?

Let’s say you and I work together from the same office.

I am doing some important work and you keep interrupting me with your questions.

I understand that your questions are real, and I love answering them!
However, if I don’t end up doing my work, I would not end up serving you or me.

So I request you that from 10 to 12 and 2 to 5 I shall be working, beyond these hours you can come to me with your questions.

And guess what? You agree, collect your questions and come to me with collective questions.

It saves up both our times and focus.

This is the power you have: to not to distract a human when they are work.

If your mind can stop itself from distracting others, can it not stop itself from distracting you with your work?

The mind is a powerful student, if we learn how to rule it.

What if no one loves me?

What if there is no one who loves me?

This is a scary question.

However the answer is a simple one.
No one actually loves you.

If you feel love is coming to you from someone, it’s because they are so full of love that they radiate it.

If you feel you are loved, that’s because you believe yourself to be worthy of love.

Love – is never to be experienced from others. 
You can just fill yourself with so much love that you are radiating and receiving it all the time.
That is your true nature.
It removes all doubts of not being loved. It makes it very clear that love is what you are made up of.

The question is, what will you do to get back to you?

What will you do to get back to You?

Lessons of the week that went

1. Follow-up if you are not seeing progress in a team project, even if you were not the SPOC.

2. Each time someone trusts us by hiring us as a freelancer or giving us a job, we get lucky. No matter how qualified or hard working we are, there are a lot more people wanting to get where you are. The place where we are today is a blessing.

3. Honesty and humility is wayyy beyond what we think. Only we realise it after a decade of practising by when most people would give up.

4. Managing your time and your thoughts is the best management you could ever do.

5. The one Zoom meeting you are reluctant to join is the one that is going to be epic. The one Zoom meeting you would want to look forward to having fun on won’t add much value to your character.

6. Meditation is the biggest medicine. The ones consuming it will get it.

7. Kindness, solitude and workouts are the foundation of every building we call a great life.

PS: In other news, I saw a haldi doodh recipe online and as I was narrating they recipe to her, she kept suggesting a lot more ingredients. My response: It’s a court marriage Mom, don’t call all the relatives. 😀

That’s it folks, have a great festive week ahead, and if you like my writings, do sign up for my newsletter here. It’s free and comes with nuggets of wisdom and reflections – why spend the entire life doing trial and error if we could learn from the mistakes of others? 🙂

Weekend read about the pandemic

“I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired,” Raghav said to Vinny Sir, his school teacher and now his mentor for seven years.

Vinny Sir, in his warm knowledgeable voice, replied, “So today you again His Majesty had a Mahabharat with your family?”

“I didn’t,” Raghav retorted, “they find flaws in everything that I do.”

Vinny Sir remained quiet and listened.

Raghav continued, “Ever since the lockdown has happened and the entire family is locked up at home, all of a sudden they hate everything of mine. My father says I don’t sit with him – where was he when I was a kid and I wanted to forgo my pocket money just to spend one day with him? My mom also says I don’t give time to them. I do fulfill all the needs of the household – buying groceries, contributing to the family expenses, yet they want more of my time.

Sometimes I feel they are right. I do not give time to them. Very very true. But, I myself never had the time with them. So spending time with family seems like an alien concept. We don’t know each other for years. We have a relationship, my elder sister and I are a bit close, but other than that, no one dares to talk deeply with another human. If we scored good grades, we were praised. If we made a mistake, we were scolded. Beyond that, no one really knows another.”

Vinny Sir smiled, “Don’t you think that what they are asking for is nothing wrong?”

“But all of a sudden during the lockdown! What about my childhood where I kept asking them for their time – and they were busy earning or running the household?”

“So now is the time for you to take revenge.”

Raghav was quiet for a moment. He took a deep breath, and said, “Sir, I do love them. They are my parents. But this method of shouting and screaming doesn’t work. Doesn’t work for the customers or the maid, then why with their kids?”

“Raghav, you all essentially want the same things,” Vinny Sir offered him a cup of coffee as he settled down on the sofa opposite Raghav, “but the way you want them is different.”

“Yeah, maybe” Raghav shrugged.

Vinny Sir didn’t blink an eye.

“Okay,” Raghav confessed keeping his mug on the table, “but Sir why can’t they be as warm and friendly to me as you are?”

“Okay tell me something,” Vinny Sir smiled, “what is your response when your parents compare you to Sharma Ji ka ladka?”

Raghav couldn’t stop giggling.

“No, c’mon, answer me,” Vinny Sir continued sipping his coffee.

“Yeah, I get that. Everyone is unique; everyone has their own special traits. Just because I am not like Sharma Ji ka ladka, everyone cannot be like you.”

“Nor they should be,” Vinny Sir finally kept his coffee mug down and offered, “what a boring place the world would be if everyone was a photocopy of each other?”

Raghav took a smile of ease.

“Be like this, young man! Always.” Vinny Sir added.

“Sir the energy of the home is scary. The moment I enter there I feel someone is about to blame me. I just want the lockdown to be over asap so that we all could finally go back to work.”

“Raghav,” Vinny Sir spoke deeply this time, “One incandescent stick has the power to light up an entire room full of foul smell. A tree of sandalwood is not affected even if it is wrapped around by a snake. And you are having issues living with your parents?”

Raghav listened intently as Vinny Sir was drawing the conclusion near.

“I understand you and your elder sister are having a dysfunctional family. But tell me someone who has a functional family? No one!

“If there is an energy of anger or lack, that is perhaps because in the lockdown all of us realized what is most important for us. Right now, you are in the prime of your youth and everything for you perhaps comes from a place of right and wrong. But for them, it comes from a place of regrets.”

Vinny Sir took a pause before he continued, “Remember your days of Class 9 when there was no electric bell in school and Kanta Bhai used to hit an iron bar to a copper plate?”

“O yes, the good old days,” Raghav reminisced, “how can I forget them? And remember how Karan used to steal the copper plate so that the games period didn’t get over! Such beautiful days they were!”

Vinny Sir smiled as he said, “You hit the nail right in the coffin young man. If there was no copper plate, the bell couldn’t ring. Just like that Raghav, if there is anger coming to you from the other side in the form of that iron bar, what would happen if there is no copper plate?”

“O man, I didn’t think about this!” Raghav said as he changed his stride from rested position to an alert one, because of this revelation.

“No matter what anyone else including your parents are doing, you always have the choice what you will allow to yourself. Yes, you do wish that your parents go back to Bhopal where your father is placed and yes that will be a respite for you. There will be a right time for that. But you know what Raghav, we cannot change any situation by resisting it. When we just stop that resistance, it loses all its force and has no option other than to be in flow.”

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Raghav took a deep breath and said, “Sir, does that mean I should tolerate all the anger they are throwing at me?”

“What do you think my answer would be?”

“Maybe I should work on myself on letting go of that part of them.”

“Carry on,” Vinny Sir said as he got hold of his coffee again, “and how will you let go?”

“I didn’t think about it.”

“Think about it now. I want to hear.”

“By not going by their words and going by their love. Also, making sure I filled my mind with 10X positivity through books, videos, etc., so that this part of negativity starts losing its grip.”

Vinny Sir sat next to Raghav and placed his hand on his shoulder, “One more thing my kid.”

“Which is?”

“When let go doesn’t happen, let it!”

Raghav was quiet. So was Vinny Sir, allowing Raghav to absorb what he had just said.

Raghav could feel himself feeling calmer, “Do you think I would be able to do it?”

“We cannot change the world Raghav. But we can change the world when we change ourselves. That is not sacrifice. A real gold is burnt before it shines. That is the law of nature. This small bit, dip by dip, changes the world.”

Are you also feeling lost?

There are different ways and functions of feeling lost.

You could be doing well financially.
You could be doing well in your relationships.

But, the relationship that you have with yourself, that one is a dangerous one.

That is what leads us to feeling lost.

There are differing ways to solve the problem. Start like this: Where is one hour where you could take control of your life?

Start with one hour in twenty four. Small part is chew-able, doable, and relatable.
It will make you more confident, powerful, and one day at a time – less lost. Isn’t that what we all are looking for?

7 great things 2020 gave us

2020 is a blessing, if we see it!

While most of us have already named 2020 as the worst year ever, there are some incredible gifts that 2020 brought with it – something that we could have come into our lives had the pandemic didn’t occur.

Thus, 2020 in all its rights, is the year of these life lessons:

  1. It was never the lack of time: It is always about whether you really want the change, or whether you really want to cling to the way you were before. 
    Change is hard. And with so much time on our hands due to lockdown and work from home, we realized time was never the issue. It was all about making the choice. After all, how can we expect anyone to give us their time if we do not have time for ourselves?

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  1. How we were without pandemic was reflected in how we were with pandemic.If we look closely at the behaviours of people we admire – be it online or offline – their lifestyle, approach to life situations and happiness remained unaffected despite such major changes the world over. And if you see people around you that were suffering or in pain during the pandemic, they were suffering even before. This isn’t judgement, this is a reflection that the outer situations do not determine who we are or what we become.
  2. Meditation is a necessity: Since the response to external events is always dependent on our inner thoughts, meditation is not something to take up, it is something to imbibe in our lifestyles. Even five minutes between two tasks, 5 times a day works wonders. If you haven’t tried it, you have missed out on abundance of peace within you.
  3. Fitness isn’t just a hobby:I read a story of a 40 year old daughter, taking care of her Covid-stricken father. Her husband was out of city and her mother had passed away, so she, along with her father’s full-time aid started living in a room next to his. After some days, the help who was there to help also developed Covid symptoms. Meanwhile, the husband had returned, so they both started taking care. However, very soon the husband was also Covid positive. So she was there taking care of her father alone. Throughout that period of taking care of him, she was healthy and unaffected. Reason? She has been taking care of her fitness as well as diet. It is as magical as parents’ love, we don’t see it unless we see the absence of it in people around us.
  4. We have the power to heal others. However, how will we able to extend a hand if our own is fractured? Tell me in the comment section.
  1. Don’t delay giving love.You may never know the person may not be with you tomorrow
  2. It all begins and ends with only one person: YOU. No one, absolutely no one has the right to enter your space of mind if you have decided to make yourself stronger – not even family, not your colleagues, not your friends – no one. I understand it is easier said than done. However, my mental health issues also surfaced during this pandemic and made me realize the importance of being the master of my mind, instead of letting it control me. It takes efforts, but what’s a good thing without making the efforts?

Isn’t it?