Nishtha Gehija

We believe having things, having people, having validation, having money will solve for that.

But how can anything external fill an inner void?

When you tell a woman she missed an attachment in an email, she responds:

“Sorry. Here it is.”

When you tell a man he missed an attachment in an email, after blaming your inbox and not his email skills, arguing about that for some time, and then being “shown” that there is no attachment, he responds:

“Did you go through the doc I sent you?” And before you could remind him again that he missed the attachment, he, without waiting for your response, says, “No problem, do that today.”

Empathy is a choice that flows through ears and gets executed by extinguishing ego.

I only read two, but oh wow, I will cherish them for the rest of my life: The Palace of Illusions and The Forest of Enchantments, both by Chitra Banerji Divakaruni.

I am even yearning to write an essay each on the the learnings I got from the books, especially from the Palace. May my execution beat procrastination.

Apart from that, spiritual studies. And a bit of “Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins here and there.

This is the season I find myself driven towards memoirs, so looking forward to reading Shefali Shah’s “The Audacity of Being” now, and going deeper into self-help. (Call self-help cringe, but that is what helps us all.)

Ciao. Happy reading 🙂

1. When you want to express change in your actions, change your actions. Expressing first only leaves you weaker.
2. Dhairya rakho. Let God. You do not need all the answers today.
3. “You teach people how to treat you,” said Oprah. And each time you condone a bad behaviour, you condone the standards of goodness you have set for yourself.

Masters of showing up for work with grace.

Masters of taking breaks.

Masters of our own minds.

Masters of protecting our minds from waste.

Masters of being aware what we need mastery on, what not to surrender ourselves to just on a whim.

“The game is more or less in the mind. I have never been a guy who practised a lot even when I was playing all three formats…

“To follow a free mind you need a fit body. For me I stay fit and then I am able to visualise the game in the way that I want to play, which allows me the best chance to go out there and execute in the way I did tonight.”

Two things here:

1. ALL the game is in the mind. Visualising (all the law of attraction and manifestation books talk about it) is the key even for Virat.
2. For those on the sidelines, they might often wonder what is Anushka’s role in Virat’s career and success. I would say a stable relationship like theirs allows him to have a free mind. We all have seen or been in relationships where even after knowing the person for years we just know that they don’t care (even though we do not accept that). And people like Anushka or wives which do not “actively” do a lot on the field of career are rarely noticed, but that stability is what allows their husbands to go out there and win the world.

When I used to travel for work in all my previous jobs, sometimes you would come across a live performance like this in some hotel of Rajasthan.

The most beautiful thing about these natives, whether in a hotel of Rajasthan or any other hotel where the live performance is taking place, are in a trance of enjoying their performance. Are they doing it for money? Yes. But that does not deter them from putting their heart and soul into the performance.

There is so much to learn from true artists, if we all had the eyes to see…

The same need that makes aunties chat with each other while they are in an important conversation with a bigger bunch of people.

The same need that people do not let others finish and get to responding to their questions, often with a complaining indignation.

The same need that makes people say 10 sentences where 5 words would have sufficed.

And that is the need in every human being. Few, few have it met through the right sources. The rest of us are blabbering.

So, what is the right way to be heard?

Journal. If you cannot write sentences, write 5 top things that are bothering you or were the highlight of the day. Just 5 words every morning and 5 words every evening. Sometimes when I am too tired, I just verbally sit in my meditation place and tell God everything. Other days, I simply write a one-sentence journal.

This one practice gives you so much clarity, that the world would think how is it even possible. Until it is possible one day, and you realise there is NOTHING more powerful in the world than this.

Fun fact: I am so dependent on note-book for my thinking that I can go anywhere without my phone but never my notebook.

Oprah said this recently on Mel Robbins podcast, and it is such a profound thing to do.

We all often love to stick to our word because what would people say, that she is such a fickle minded person. But when you have better information, better data, better intuition, you always have the right to change your mind, as Oprah says.

And it is not just woo-woo. In August 2025, Taylor Swift appeared on New Heights podcast and said her 12th album would have only 12 tracks. She mentioned it explicitly that there is going to be no 13th, 14th track and so on.

Lo and behold, tonight, more than a year later, 4 more tracks from the same album are announced.

If the biggest pop star in the world, whose every move, every statement, every exclamation is analysed, can change her mind, so do you and I have the right to change your mind.

1. Build a device-free life that you enjoy.
2. Go outdoors daily.
3. Do not skip 1 and 2 for your sanity.

Make money. Build a corpus. Tell no one in your family, friends or social media.

Dear people above 70,

I get it, it is difficult for you to carry yourself now, vis-a-vis when you were younger.

But you would be delighted to know that people would love to help you if you ask.

The other day a 78 year old complained to me out of the blue that he sat in a satsang for 4 hours the day before, was miserable when he got up, and then he had too much pride to get a conveyance, so he walked to his home.

Well, it is disastrous to sit continuously for 4 hours straight, even if you are a 25-year old. You need to plan getting up yourself, no one is going to do that for you. Also, just in case you are not able to get a conveyance, often people at a satsang are helpful to drive 2 km and drop you.

The reason the old people feel so miserable is because they are lonely. And in their subconscious they want to be seen. So how do old people feel seen? When they are struggling. Just like young people.

It is not something they do on purpose, but your subconscious has a way of handing you exactly what you are looking for.

But I really wonder if all the validation is worth it if it compromises your health, whether you are 8, 18 or 80.

…

PS: The above applies to every single young person as well. You need to be looking for solutions instead of surrendering to situations. You are always in control.

I had never thought I would write a post like this. But life has its plans.

In a community gathering I am a part of, an uncle has volunteered to be my unsolicited Daddy. He does not want to be sugar daddy (a girl gets to know that from the vibes of a man, trust me).

But he has automatically assumed I am helpless (because I stay away from parents), I am lonely, and I need parents. None of the above is true. But when has logic ever mattered to any man whose predator insights have not died even at 70?

So he sometimes brings me pen, and then brings me pens again, and then brings me notebooks, and worse, this time he called me over and over and over again when I went missing because I had gone to my hometown. I did not accept any of those things, nor did I respond to any of his calls. Let him think I am purposefully ignoring him and he means nothing to me, because that is true. At this point I am so done with him that I might not even make a sad face at his funeral, or worse, not even go.

The other day I was at my vegetable vendor and he was also there, for a second I took a swift u-turn and started walking back. But then I thought, why should I? He tried having an interaction with me, I nodded while looking in absolutely different direction, bought my veggies and moved on. I hope he got the messaging loud and clear. Nothing destroys a man more than a seemingly nice humble girl who has high standards.

But the reason I tell you the above is this man’s face. God is the evidence that never, ever, EVER, I have judged a human on the basis of their face or how they look. But that man’s face at that vegetable vendor, that man’s face who would have certainly been a sugar daddy when he was 40, younger, had a family but wanted action; that man’s face who is empty and believes can make another girl his project — I do not curse people but only cringe and puke are my reactions to that man’s face.

I would like to believe he is mostly over me because empty predators simply need someone who responds to their advances. While I have maintained a specific ignorance only to him and NO ONE else in our community, am super friendly and nice with his wife too, I would like to believe his brain has gotten the signal.

But I really hope we get a life where we live beyond our impulses and petty desires. Is 70 an age to even target younger girls? But of all the sugar daddies and these wanna-be-daddies, they do not understand. They do not. Trust me.

We can only ignore.

My response is neither.

Competence is no camouflage for cruelty, and if you are incompetent, become competent. 

We have excuses for almost nothing, especially if the direction is towards better. 

When you have a purpose of life, it grounds you. 

It makes you focus on the things are essential and that you must do, in order to keep yourself sane and smiling. 

And that purpose need not be just work. Maybe getting fit, becoming more peaceful, learning to let go, preparing for the marathon, getting your finances in shape; could also be some of the purposes. 

What is dangerous is what happens after you have got a reasonable level of success in your purpose (or if the purpose never existed). Now you do not have anything to look forward to, you are making steady money, and there is no challenge forcing you to get out of your comfort zone. 

So you wait for hours outside an Apple Store, on the day of the new iPhone launch. 

I often pity those who do this, because real success, my friend, is knowing what to do with your time, even when you have all the money in the world. Or when you have no work to do some days, how you find real leisure beyond a device that asks you to stand in queues for hours. 

Nothing in your world is going to change if you buy your iPhone 10 hours or 10 days later.

But only those who have the self-respect towards their time and their life have the courage to let go of the ego of “Hey, I got the iPhone on Day 1” can see that reality.

Sometimes you come across genuinely nice people, who are working hard to do what they do, they are impeccable in their output, and are by nature often kind.

But in that kindness sometimes comes a layer of self-pity.

“I did this so bad,” becomes their running dialogue.

It might come across as harsh, but this is a subtle sign of them looking for validation. And the people who look for validation are the ones who do not have confidence in the thing that they put out.

Now I get it self-doubt is a common enemy that attacks human beings on and off again, like fever. The only problem is when self-doubt changes from a rare fever to a handicap you have to live with for life.

You have more things to do. You cannot afford to diminish yourself for the duration of your life.

I had two back-to-back calls today, both of them were with a team member of someone who intends to work with me.

However, one call went a discussion of me dealing with someone who could not communicate what they wanted, changed their ask every 5 minutes, and the call lasted longer than the set 30 minutes. Also, their presence had too much of boiling blood.

The other call was exactly the opposite. It ended in 10 minutes. They were clear with the ask. And they treated me like a human being, not someone who is supposed to be exploited. Also, their presence brought kindness to the table.

Life, my friend, is about looking beyond the immediate benefits to your ego. And the more you give, the more circumstances you’d create to be picked.

My Mom is on a one-day round-trip to Jaipur, for her routine visit after her back and hip surgery a few months back.

And this morning when she was in train, I asked her if everything was in place, and then also asked about how Papa was managing food. Despite knowing that my two elder sisters and one cousin bhabhi take turns to manage food for him.

This female instinct of taking care of everyone is so deeply rooted that I want to know what my father is eating sitting 500 kms away from me.

One way to look at it is he is my father, I must take care of it. The other way to look at it is take a chill pill, my Mom is out for less than a day, and most importantly, there are people to take care of him and things I cannot do from such a distance.

Sometimes, as a girl, I wish I could stop getting deep into things I cannot control…

• Not ask for a part in inheritance. They made me self-capable, and that is the best thing
• To request them over and over again to eat and sleep on time.
• To be nice to them while having my own opinions. Neither has to be suppressed.

We often say parents affect how the child thinks, but one thing I am glad my parents have learnt from me is my father values my opinions and actively seeks them; and my mom has learnt to ask for what she wants.

I’d love to listen from others too, how have you affeced your parents?

My father completed his graduation right after turning 30. He even completed his schooling by working small gigs and affording himself the books to study. So it was beyond a question for him to ask for anything from his parents.

As I was growing up, my parents took all the care of my education. I was never said no to anything I needed with respect to education (which was mostly course books, reference books, notebooks and pens). Even when I used to study in a different city for graduation, in my mind I was clear: Your parents might be paying for your needs, but everything you want (a car, branded clothes, a life of more luxury, etc.) you have to earn it yourself.

Now that my eldest nephew and niece are 19, I have seen two different things: I do not see or feel passion to become someone and to get an internship. I get it that in this era you do not necessarily become a valedictorian, but you still gotta have that fire to become something. Or a curiosity to figure that out. At the same time, they see their parents going through a lot to afford their education, and yet they demand birthday celebration with friends in hotels, a new coffee machine, a gym membership, a vacation with friends, etc. from their parents.

Let me tell you none of the above is wrong. I would love for them to have all of the above and more.

But where do we draw the line between taking money from your parents for existence versus filling your existential crisis, especially if you are not someone like Suhana Khan or Ananya Pandey?