When I had initially come home during lockdown, I had thought I would finally be happy when I will go back to Delhi.
I had thought I will be happy when I get my freedom, but it isn’t denied to me here either.
I had thought I would have good places to shop, but life is anyway being lived in the same pyjama since eternity:)
I had thought my parents wanted to stop me here forever, but they don’t, which makes me live here happily.
Don’t know when going to Delhi will be possible like before, but I am now starting to be happy with my dysfunctional family. Especially since opportunities to work and make money are infinite with zero compromise on my daily power naps and evening walks and morning workouts and what not!!!
We wait for an idea of the future hoping for things to get better, not realising it is getting created here and now – with what we think and what we do.
You must have seen people partying on the beach on Instagram.
Or making teddy bears of snow.
And making you feel like it is your life only that is at loss.
Here’s a silent truth:
Someone I know personally posted a vacay pic of theirs, with a thoughtful caption and how happy they were truly being in this flow state of life. However, I know they are going through a really, really tough time. A super tough time.
It is great that they took a break, no doubts about that.
But here is what I want you to consider:
- Social media = away from reality. Almost always. Rather always.
- People show that they are enjoying because they have FOMO – they have also seen others showing their “happy” pics and would do anything to show that they are also happy.
- Our real nature is happiness. When we are away from it, we would do anything to get closer or appear closer to happiness. If we get close to real happiness, awesome! If we get close to faking happiness, our hole of sadness gets deeper.
Choose the form of happiness you want to live in. And the coolest of the coolest people, who are your (real) role models, they hardly share their vacay pics online with a “success-filled” caption. Because they know that real happiness is the remaining 350 days as well, when we are not on a holiday.
Read the above line again.
Sometimes people say I sacrifice my Netflix and late night binge watching to rise early.
Or why do you workout and avoid all the junk foods?
Why don’t you work full time, and why is family time more important to you?
All these are sacrifices.
Sacrifices are good.
Because from those we create our destiny.
When we sacrifice Netflix, we create a destiny of peace and a good eyesight and a powerful brain.
When we sacrifice junk food, we create a destiny of a healthy and fit body.
When we “sacrifice” full work and spend some time with family, we create a destiny of joy and happiness.
It’s not sacrifice.
It is a creation of a happy future.
It is not a trade off.
It is creating a trade with yourself.
It is not lacking something.
It is accessing all that you have.
Sacrifices create happiness.
Yes, negativity IS real.
If you are a content creator, you will get people raising questions on what you do.
More so, if you are a female, you will have CXO’s texting you “Hi Sweetheart!”
If you are just a normal consumer, you will see your rights violated.
I understand, it’s real.
But here’s the truth:
– No negativity could ever stop a champion from growing, just because they were obsessed with it.
– No negativity could force a positive person to move from education to news.
– And, no negativity would ever be able to stop the flow of someone whose life is spent in figuring out “what’s next”.
Don’t fear negativity.
Fear the relentless, dedicated, positive people.
Because they change the world.
Because that is you, if you’re reading till here.
Because You have the power no one can take away.
Not even the people who say they care for you and leave you alone.
No one can take this power away from you.
Ten things we should never say to women:
- How much money do you make?
- Here, take my credit card.
- What will you gain by learning sports?
- When are you planning to get married, all good guys will run out…
- Get a facial regularly to look beautiful (lolll, wasn’t beauty an inner function)
- Instead of (current) career, try this. It will help you settle down.
- If you can make time to go to the gym daily, why can’t you do household chores?
- You should try taking a class in Bollywood dance.
- You should quit what you are doing right now, because you’ve failed once.
- You cook really well, your husband will be a lucky man…
- (Bonus): I will drive the car.
And the NO-NO of all, speaking in a loud, dominating voice.
It breaks my heart to see that a LOT of educated, well-respected in corporate lives men do a lot of these. They won’t be able to control the women who want to live on their own terms, however, only end up losing their own respect.
Lesson: Chill, bro! Use the big thing in your skull called the brain.
I had watched Big Boss Season 1.
After that, my intellect saved me forever.
However recently, I came across a Big Boss clip on Instagram, that made me think deeply.
Here’s how it goes:
The contestants are being allowed to meet their family. When Jasmin’s parents come, they force her to play her own game alone, and not with Aly. Aly was her friend and they both fell in love during the show. They show a slightly negative vibe towards her friend.
Maybe her parents are against her marriage with him, we don’t know.
But the way they told this to her made me think of two things:
- They could have refused for marriage when she came out, at least she would have her parents (which she does not have in Big Boss house) if not Aly with her. Har cheez ka sahi samay hota hai.
- For playing her game alone, this is how most parents tell their kids to do all their lives: Not to make friends. They will play on you. But you know what, trust others to the extent you cannot afford to lose. If you don’t invest, you won’t grow. If you invest too much to lose yourself, you will of course lose yourself. But advising a locked daughter to play alone and not “trust strangers” where anyway there are a lot of mental health issues going on, shows how much as a society we lack trust.
I feel for you sista.
This too, shall pass.
Honestly, I do not give any damn about her relationship with Aly because we don’t know what would happen when they both go out. But not making friends and playing alone is not how the game of life is played.
If you don’t get out of yourself, you’ve lost already.
Here’s how we waste time (and where we shouldn’t):
- Checking social media for a minute and ending up wasting fifteen. Seven times a day.
- Thinking waste thoughts (no matter how much truth they hold).
- Stalking Virat and Anushka on Instagram.
- Thinking your parents did all the less-than-happening things to you, and you can’t change them now.
- Gossiping about that weakling in the group.
- Talking loudly (because it wastes energy, which in turn leaves less energy for important tasks which in turn, wastes energy).
- Watching Big Boss.
- Calling people (Bro, why do email and WhatsApp exist?)
- Listening to aunties chit chat
- Watching movies. (No matter how good a movie is, it keeps you hooked. Reading books is the rarest and the most precious gem of all. Always.)
Whatever you do, others draw an example from.
Whatever you do, becomes the barometer for others to function.
Whatever you do, determines your state of mind.
Remember this the next time you’re going to take a step your intuition refuses to.
All the influencers you follow, none of them were born with the followers they have.
Also, none of them is Shah Rukh Khan’s kid.
So, when you feel that they got “lucky”
When you believe that you just can’t “get there”
When you think others had privileges “you don’t have”
When self doubts starts encircling you
When success seems possible only by magic,
Everyone started at zero. Everyone.
If the ones who made it had something special, they had this:
- Breathtaking consistency
- Belief in themselves when the world was busy rebuking them
- Trust that if it is possible for others, it is possible for them as well
- Learning from failure
- Learning from others’ success
And many more pieces of the puzzle that get arranged once you actually step into the pool.
Start from 0. You did so in school. See where you are now. Start again, for a different curriculum of life you want to be living for.
Let’s say you and I work together from the same office.
I am doing some important work and you keep interrupting me with your questions.
I understand that your questions are real, and I love answering them!
However, if I don’t end up doing my work, I would not end up serving you or me.
So I request you that from 10 to 12 and 2 to 5 I shall be working, beyond these hours you can come to me with your questions.
And guess what? You agree, collect your questions and come to me with collective questions.
It saves up both our times and focus.
This is the power you have: to not to distract a human when they are work.
If your mind can stop itself from distracting others, can it not stop itself from distracting you with your work?
The mind is a powerful student, if we learn how to rule it.