It is one of those days.
I have gotten into the loop of telling myself:
If only my parents were more present when I was a kid.
If only my parents were more present now.
If only my parents (…) everything we want of them.
If only…
However, then I came across a reel of an influencer who shared the same qualms about her parents.
For some reason, something within me feels validated.
And it reduces my mental what-if’s from my parents.
Over time, this is what I have reflected from my journey of sometimes blaming my childhood:
– Yes, your childhood wasn’t perfect.
– Yes, it leaves you somewhat behind in the rat-race.
– Yes it makes you question yourself for a very very long time.
But guess what?
The truth is you have all the resource to reparent and reprogram yourself.
As a matter of fact, you are already doing it all of the time.
So, I decided to do what that influencer did:
1. Look at what all didn’t work.
2. Accept it. Embrace it.
3. Look at what all is working. And there is plenty!
Sometimes, when you know what is going wrong, it is the best to leave it right there.
If you only go and keep poking a finger at it, you are poking 3 fingers at yourself! Because now, as an adult, you didn’t take responsibility for yourself.
So, my friend, if you have even a little bit of complains about your parents, see if this helps:
1. Write all of them on a piece of paper.
2. Accept it as if you had chosen it. (That’s hard, but I read it somewhere and it all makes sense now.)
3. Write down what you need to do to go back to your childhood and tell yourself you are worthy.
The last step is tricky.
It requires patience as much as it requires strategy.
However, we all are practising strategy all of the time.
It is time we practised it on ourselves, before we went out into the world and became full-time strategists!
If life is a game you gotta strategise it wisely and win.
Or sit around and let your past let you lose.
You choose. 🤗