Do you feel hurt by people?
You did good to them however they didn’t respond?
What if they didn’t hurt you?
What if they hurt your idea of how you should be treated?
No one, absolutely no one owes you anything. If they’re good, you’re lucky. If they aren’t good, you get stronger.
I see a lot of parents of my generation who still teach their kids what to do and what not to do.
That’s the saddest thing to happen.
Because we are creating another version of ourselves.
And we won’t be doing it in the first place if we were proud of what we have become.
Our parents’ generation did not have as many privileges as we have.
Not using the privileges that we have, is probably worse than not having privileges.
Part I: Giving Help
If you want to help someone else, make sure you’ve helped yourself.
If you think you are still doing them a favour, you are not.
People love to know they’re loved, only if they could feel you loving yourself.
Part II: Asking for Help
If you are asking for someone else’s help out of their obligation to do it for you and out of their inability to not do it willingly, probably you need to rethink your choices.
The only way to have everything aligned on the outside is to align yourself from within. Nothing changes before that.
You will feel whole.
You will feel better.
You will feel you belong.
You will feel you matter.
And you do.
The problem is not you feeling bad or empty. The problem is you not acknowledging it. When you do, you immediately take the dagger from the emptiness to yourself. And then you begin.
It’s a feeling that just doesn’t go.
Or sometimes I mix it up with my introversion and love for work.
This is not for likes or comments, just to reveal a wall that’s been hiding.
And I do end up breaking it sometimes, only to come to the stones that built it up in the first place.
That I want to go to the hall and chit chat with my family.
That I want to be optimistic along with sharing that feeling of emptiness within.
That I know that it’s okay to be okay when it’s not okay.
Yet I do none of these.
Because anything that is not stomach ache, fever or diabetes is not a disease – that our society and upbringing has taught us.
Perhaps because they would want to hide it under anger, like everything else.
Perhaps because it requires the need to acknowledge your own inner needs to be able to acknowledge them in other.
Yet on the other side of the tunnel I see hope.
And I trust that hope like sunshine.
And somehow we will manage to come out of it.
I don’t know how to end this, yet this is not the end. For sure.
You know if it is right or not.
Wrong does not require efforts. Right does.
Efforts or nothing. We make a choice every single minute.
It is a disease not restricted to a few people.
Rather, there are very few people who don’t suffer from this.
Well, what to do if you want to be one of those few people?
a. Being kind even when you have the right to be unkind is an unprecedented advantage.
b. Replacing “you’re an idiot” with “I think there is a miscommunication” lets the other person know that they’re not unwanted.
c. More than anything else, when we move around the world with the backstory that we are the hero and our role is to make others rise, instead of being the villain who wants everyone to fall down.
Split personality disorder is real and more rampant than we ever thought. What we need is a decision to have a personality we would be proud of.
And to live to that personality when things inevitably don’t go vanilla.
One of the best learnings that covid brought to us is not to put all your eggs in one basket.
Warren Buffet has been saying it for years.
Not only for finances, also for our emotions and sources of income.
More than anything else, we have learnt never to depend on external validation (malls, restaurants, movies,etc.) for making us feel.
Will they support you is not the right question.
The right question is, will you support yourself?
Strictness does not mean rudeness.
Strictness also does not mean lack of a great bond.
Strictness also does not mean lack of respect.
However when work is to be respected, accountability must arise.
When we let people know the inherent measure of respect, we create a space for them to respect themselves.