Raw. Real. Unfiltered. Daily blogs. Often, less than 100 words
And then you realise, the best way to deal with self doubt is to create your confidence in isolation without worrying about what others think of you.
And that’s awesome 🙂
Sometimes I get happy with good things happening.
Sometimes I get upset with not-so-good things happening.
Don’t like this contingent part of mine.
Will get there soon. To be at ease.
I am, btw, at ease for most things that used to disturb me, and that’s an achievement.
You are a rockstar NG, and keep that up 🙂
I asked my therapist, “What if I tell myself that it is okay if someone responded in a bad manner? They might as well be suffering, right?”
She said:
Of course, it is a good thing to run a marathon.
But the best runners, train themselves before the event.
However, if you go haven’t trained yourself at all and you get up one day and go run, can you imagine what all pain will you endure?
And now imagine how long have you been running this marathon!
So the way to be actually able to run that marathon is to train our brain, to understand our emotions first, and why we feel in the pain.
Otherwise, it is only a continuous run of pain, not a marathon in reality.
Something really deep to reflect upon.
Envy is not going to make you successful, baby! So don’t do that.
It is that simple 🙂
Wishing for the best.
And being the best.
And never any less
Is true success.
Think over it for a moment.
I often think about irrelevance.
What will make you irrelevant?
When someone else takes your job?
When you grow but miss your roots?
When you think there is something that, if taken away from you, you will lose your identity?
The truth is, whatever you have, will be taken away from you.
If not now, on your death.
Thus, the fear of irrelevance is technically the insecurity of giving up all you have.
Now that you know that it will go away anyway, how to deal with it?
Off-late, I have restarted my age old habit of evening walks, and I couldn’t be happier!
Some benefits:
1. Gives much needed mobility to the body.
2. Makes my intuition active, instead of seeking refute in the screen.
3. I get fresh oxygen!
4. Get to witness so many stories.
5. My eyes change their focus, and that’s awesome.
6. I have ideas for writing, just like this one.
7. I learn to forgive without being asked for.
8. I get the much needed me time without devices. (PS: I don’t carry my phone, nor do I wear my smart watch there.)
9. It is a discipline that is so much fun, that you cannot not do it! And that’s beautiful 🙂
3 things that make me forget everything:
I don’t know if my work sitting in a remote silo is making difference in the world.
I have no idea if the people I care for actually care for me (so I could move on or continue lol)
But you know what…
Sometimes not knowing is super powerful.
Because it makes you do your own thing.
Doing your own thing without the influence of others, makes you more of your better self.
It is under that “better self” that you become stronger and okay with the fact that the world is not okay with you!
Today I was talking to my therapist, and I don’t know how I spoke about two different sides of me:
The one is the kiddish side of me who wants to come out, and the other is the side that is expected to be mature.
And she said a line: “If people around us are not giving us that space, you better go take it.”
She also went on to tell a story, saying if you are sitting on a bench in a park, enjoying your view, and someone comes and sits next to you, what would you do?
“I’ll get up and leave!”
“Most people would shift a bit, then again shift a bit if they come closer, and over time, they would just fall of the bench. In the process, they also ruin their view. What if you just claim that view to be yours, that no one can take away?”
“I agree, I just get up and leave from such views, and keep wandering…”
OMG, she makes me speak such truths about myself that are so buried inside!
Now she has given me a task to be more spontaneous and less calculative during the week. Fingers crossed :))
A startup founder reached out to me on LinkedIn, stating she was full of gratitude for what I did and how I was kind to her on her posts. She ended the DM requesting me to get on a call.
Bro, I am someone who has her phone notifications off since eternity, has never changed her phone ringtone since 2015 (when I first got my smartphone) and I am about to tell my boss that I will take only 2 interviews per day, because if I speak more than that, I will not feel energetic 🙂
So I responded to her, requesting to “strike the conversation” in the DMs itself, and told her the truth.
No response as yet. Anyway, the joy of saying no which you don’t want to do, is always unparallel! :))
If you take your goodness constructively, it will do miracles for you.
Because goodness, in my definition, is responsibility.
If you are good, it is your responsibility to treat the wrong person right.
If you are good, it is your responsibility to receive the wrong given to you in the right manner.
Most people (at work, outside of work) realise that only a few people can be this responsible. Thus, it is the responsible people that get most learnings. For those who do not care to be responsible to perceive things right, they are just doing the job.
Responsible ones, take the responsibility. They don’t like it the most, but they would never want it the other way. And that’s the most beautiful thing about being good.
We hardly thank water for its role in construction, however, without it, the building would just collapse.
Be like water, my friend.
We hardly put water in the list of ingredients of any dish, however, I’m yet to see a dish that doesn’t involve water.
Be like water, my friend.
We set big menus to serve to our guests in parties, however, they would complain for centuries if they were not served adequate water.
Be like water, my friend.
Water brings everything together, yet makes itself feel redundant.
Because it knows its value, it does not crave for others to know it.
Be like water, my friend.
Bless everyone (from the heart) who criticises you, or hurts you in the biggest form.
If they are being they, what stops you from being you?
Three things that I do not understand:
1. People fall in love at X speed.
2. They fall out of love at 2X speed.
3. They have mental health issues at 3X speed.
Reasons:
– Parents not paying enough attention
– FOMO, because everyone on social media seems sorted
– We think we need someone else to complete us.
How to get out of this loop:
a. Get validation through who you are and what you do
b. Get validation through good books, videos and podcasts. They are super super super underrated.
c. Spend time alone. Daily. Outdoors. At least 30 minutes. If that could be a nature walk, nothing like it!
The only problem with our problems is we think we shouldn’t have them.
We, thus, go about hiding them from others.
In so doing, we aren’t doing well either – neither at work nor outside of work.
What’s the solution, then?
The solution is to tell those around you, that you are going through some problems, that might not make you your 100%.
If we don’t tell them and try to do whatever we can, “whatever we can” becomes our default standard.
This is not who we are.
And living life as someone else, helps no one else.
A few days back, a relative called up on my birthday.
After exchanging pleasantries, they said, “I have heard that you have gotten very slim.”
“Yes, you have heard the truth,” I laughed that off.
“No, but very, very slim I mean,” they shot back.
I used my fun tone again, and asked, “But you would be still commenting on my looks even if I gained a lot of weight!”
“O, even that’s the truth!”
The truth is, no matter what you do, someone will figure a way to raise a question.
If you are kind, someone will ask you to be stern.
If you are stern, someone would want you to calm down.
If you are formal, someone would want you to be more casual.
If you include casual conversations, someone would want you to stick to the point in official meetings.
There are always going to be people raising a question on you.
The question is:
What is YOUR truth?
What do you want to do?
How much weight you want to gain/lose?
How do you want to set up your relationships?
Do you value kindness more than anything else?
And when you know what YOU want, here’s a repetition for the nth time:
It DOES NOT matter what others say.
Some good friends figure out a way to chill.
Most others figure out a way to negatively thrill.
Focus on the former, and life will never be still 🙂
PS: I don’t talk to my relatives per se, but this time I had to, because of my birthday :)))
5 minutes after work, sit and reflect.
5 minutes after food, sit there only.
5 minutes after meditation, do not reach out to phone directly.
5 minutes after workout, breathe.
5 minutes after waking up, revise your affirmations and goals.
The space of 5 minutes creates all the space we need.
It’s incredible how good distractions force us to do good!
For the past 4-5 days, I noticed myself eating more than usual.
I knew I wasn’t hungry.
But just couldn’t resist!
So I played a small hack.
Each time I went to the dining table, I carried Kindle along with me.
Once I was done eating the right amount of food, I immediately switched on to reading for the next 10-15 minutes.
After that, the cravings disappeared.
So did the “hunger”.
What was left was a wiser brain and a leaner body.
Total Win-Win!
I still do that, and on each meal it works wonders!!!
Isn’t it (not at all) strange how everything in our mind is just a correlation?
Which, in turn means, we have been living our entire life on hacks!!