How past trauma affects work

Someone I know was in a bad relationship in the past.
Multiple traumatic experiences with the same guy.
He used to leave her, then come and physically and mentally exploit her, and the chain continued for several years.

Until one day she finally got the courage to get up and leave.

But you know what, this trauma continued for several years in her work as well.

She believed she was not deserving of getting her needs met at work, so she wanted to leave from work at the tiniest of discomfort.
She never went up to talk to her clients or bosses, because she was never spoken to in the most intimate relationships.
More than anything else, if anyone at work praised her work, she felt it was a lie just like the guy “loved” her and went away multiple times.

Here’s the truth: When you look at that guy, his social media profiles, his work background, he comes across as an Angel. Like no one could be as divine as him. Yet he is the cause of someone else’s deepest trauma.

Sometimes it helps to see that our desire for needs becomes someone’s long-term pain. Are we ready to bear the consequence of that karma?

Wouldn’t agree on this one…

I read somewhere that pain is just pain. Someone else’s intensity of pain doesn’t reduce your pain.

While most people may agree, I tend to disagree.

Someone else’s intensity of pain might be different from yours. And if we are unable to acknowledge that, it makes us more selfish and less empathetic.

If we are in pain and still can acknowledge someone else is in pain, we are truly a caring human being.

Do you also feel hurt?

Do you feel hurt by people?

You did good to them however they didn’t respond?

What if they didn’t hurt you?

What if they hurt your idea of how you should be treated?

No one, absolutely no one owes you anything. If they’re good, you’re lucky. If they aren’t good, you get stronger.

Patience

Today an Amazon packet was to be delivered. The boy reached on the ground floor, and called.

Since I didn’t receive, I immediately called back, however was unreachable.

So I went to the balcony of our first floor home, and saw him.

He asked for my name first. I responded. Then he asked for his number that flashed on to my screen. Then he even asked for my number that was there on the package. For no reasons, no one has ever done that.

A part of me wanted to get angry at him. However, I told myself: “He must also be in pain for going out and meeting so many people in these conditions. More so, maybe he had lost a valuable packet in the past for not doing due diligence.”

This suddenly stopped me from getting angry. And gave me perspective.

We choose our emotions. And then, those emotions choose us.

What do you see?

When you see someone (your favourite person) has checked your Instagram story, it may just be tapping around, instead of consuming your content.

When you see your father is not understanding you, it may be because he was never ever understood since the day he was born.

When you see you are not being given your credit, it could be because the other person has a hole inside themselves.

When people don’t fulfil their commitments, probably because they have been lied to in the past.

Everything we see, is the tip of the iceberg.

The question is, what side of the iceberg do you decide to see?

The “after” feeling

If you think it’s easy for pro’s to get up and do the workout daily, you’re wrong.

No one, absolutely no one wants to go through the grind.

They still go through it, because the feeling that comes after the hard work, is unmatchable.

Don’t go with what you are going through. Go with what you want to go through.

Focus on power of future versus what pain it brings in the present.

You will NEVER know

You will never know what someone else is going through.

Beneath their anger is the child their parents never spent time with.

Beneath their gossips is the inner hurts they never healed.

Beneath their frustrations with you is the frustration that they are not able to deal with their lives.

Beneath every pain they inflict upon you is the pain within them they are trying to deal with, and unable to do so.

It’s really not about you, as much as their hurting words and actions are about them.