Tag: relationship

Family

My father started working at 6!

Earlier this month my father completed 40 years of his shop.

He’s 67, and had already worked in multiple “jobs”, before “starting on his own”. Here’s a journey of his work, starting from age 6!

1. Worked for FREE in a bakery at the age of 6, used to get crushed powder of toasts as daily “stipend”

2. Worked at two general stores in later summer vacations at school.
He was so much into cleanliness that once the shop owner’s bag of cash fell off from a higher shelf!
Guess what, my father had such a repute of honesty that the shopkeeper never changed its place!

3. Worked at a readymade garments shop as he “grew up” 🙂

4. Worked at a crockery of a relative, created a huge repute and profit for them, however, later the relative had to sell it off due to financial crunch

5. Worked as a typist at the age of 18, at one of the reputed shops in our city

6. Got placed at a factory by his employer, where he almost died by sinking in a pit while riding his cycle back home, and “someone magically appeared from nowhere” and saved him! Yes, he and a friend went to search for cycle the next day and got it 🙂

7. He found refute that day at a nearby factory, which later hired him. That factory was JK Paper Mills. He was even hired by DCM, Waterworks, and all the factories but he was underage!

8. Along with working at JK, he opened his shop on 05 August 1981. Used to work there in the mornings and nights.

9. Quit his job in October 1982, while his kids were 3 and 4 respectively. Talk risk!!

10. When he started, his shop was in a narrow street. His Uncle, in 1983, suggested to buy one of the new shops coming up at the main road. He didn’t have the deposit money. The bakery shop owner, with whom my father used to work “for free”, lent him the advance deposit. Till date, our shop is exactly at the same place.

11. Not to mention, he also used to do “flipping” by getting socks, watches from Delhi and selling them in our home town in Kota. However, he felt he wasn’t playing it ethical by showing a low-quality item as shiny and that was unfair to customers’ money.

Last year, as I was freelancing, I had once suddenly lost a high-ticket client. One morning I was sitting in my room and thinking, I saw my father doing his prayer rituals as usual.

He was as tensionless, as free and as “let life come as it wants to” attitude on his face.
If 40 years of business could keep him tension free, I had no right to get tensed that day.

That day, my father gave me hope.
Today as I asked him this entire story, he gave me the power of resilience.
And every day, he gives me the power of love by getting apples / mangoes for me (instead of bakery stuff that both my parents love :D)

We are not the best of friends, but he accepts me when I’m doing a headstand in the middle of the room, and I accept him when he “turns on auto-download” of WhatsApp forwarded pics, and together, we all are imperfectly perfect!

Just as we should be 🙂

Uncategorized

I wish I had the superpower of memory loss!!?

Just for one minute, just for one minute I popped out of my room and saw Maa watching Anupama, where someone is telling her, I wish everyone had this blessing of memory loss.

Maa be like: I agree!

Damn!

Okay, you want to forget?

Forget.

As simple as this. You remember because you remember, nothing else.

I remember my first relationship – I was so sooo deep into the memories of it years after it got over, that I remembered the chats of our conversations for years. Years! And this is after I deleting all of those, with NO back-up at all.

At a certain point, I remember it happened in early 2019, I forgot everything. EVERYTHING.

As a matter of fact, very recently I was reading my book which I wrote early in 2019 and was going through a snippet of chat, and I was like, “Dude, I didn’t know I remembered all of this!”

Forgetting is not a super power. It’s a choice.

Humour

Ironies of life

There is a wonderful client of mine, whose business is making Ayurvedic drinks.

He once graciously sent me a huge pack of Ayurveda drinks, along with two packs of hot chocolate powder and gourmet coffee.

It turns out, everyone in my family loves hot chocolate powder more. Which comes from an Ayurveda drinks manufacturer. Ironies of life.

The other day, I was having that chocolate shake, while my Mom asked, “You’re still working with this client, right?”

I couldn’t stop laughing. Ironies of life – me who was having it once a month, and my Maa who doesn’t have it either – both trying to love the chocolate product of an Ayurveda manufacturer.

PS: Here’s a pic, of that chocolate shake. Enjoy 😊

People

The saint and the prostitute

There was once a saint who lived up there, in the mountains. To meditate. And think positive thoughts.

In the hut, just opposite to his, used to live a prostitute. Every day, she used to look at the saint and be inspired – as to this is how I should be living my life – filled with positivity, and thinking of God.

Meanwhile, the saint used to look at the prostitute’s house, and think about how she is ruining her life, how her life is terrible, and how he would never want a life like that.

Several years later, they both died.

Up in the clouds, it was decided that the prostitute will go to heaven and the saint will go to hell.

“Why, I was meditating whole day?” rebelled the saint.

Here’s what the administrators up there told them:

It is not what you do, it is what you are thinking about whole day, that makes the difference. While you were busy mocking the prostitute in your mind, she was busy idealising a meditative lifestyle.

It turns out, our thoughts actually run or ruin the world.

Thoughts

The First Therapy Session

Had the first therapy session today.

Who in the world talks about it openly?

Well, we haven’t been open, that is why we have been needing therapy 🙂

On that note, it felt a bit better. Even though it will take some time to heal unseen wounds of years, well, all is well that starts well. 😊

Life

The art of asking

The best way to ask for a busy person’s time is NOT by asking them when they’re free.

They value their free time more than their “busy time” and would protect it at all costs.

A more effective way is: To ask how they can help, where the response most likely would be a one-liner.

If you convince them to care, they will dig out the time when they are “busy.”

Family

About Father’s Day

Last Sunday, we had a blast on Father’s Day. Nothing “special”. Just that since it was Sunday, I took my Kindle and sat in the living room, instead of sneaking into my room.

Had life conversations with my parents.

Got to know that my father’s first internship started at age 6.

Learnt the immense power of putting your head down and doing the work, even when you are not being paid.

And more than anything else, got the immense power of learning to spend some time together with family. Not everyday religiously, but at least consistently :))

Uncategorized

Stranger stranger

This morning I posted a one-liner on LinkedIn:

You don’t know how much you can learn, until you sign up to learn.

Had two really weird comments.

Comment 1:

Comment 2 (Reply to Comment 1 by a stranger):

Thank you, to the wonderful community that stands for strangers and corrects the not-so-good others are standing for.

Thank you! 😊

Books

A relationship of 10 years!

It was June 2011 when my friend dragged me to a seminar after college.

It was “Aadarsh Amdavad”, a 15-day self-help workshop, that consisted of:

  • Daily 2 hour sessions by an acclaimed speaker
  • Had a spectrum of audience instead of a narrow group
  • It did not want us to “get better”, but the way it was designed, ended up making us better.

After that fortnight of daily wisdom, I felt a surge of happiness that I didn’t want to let go of.

So I started walking to Crossword Book Stores near my college, after the workshop got over.

For hours, I would just sit there and read, not knowing I was getting into an affair it would be impossible to get out of.
For hours, I would not care about anything in the outside world, just me and the books.
For hours, daily, it was a retreat from everything else in the world!

That love affair has lead to a lifetime partnership with books now.

More than anything else, keeping myself lost in that world has lead me to find myself, over and over again, peel by peel, page by page.

Here’s to a decade of that relationship 🙂
Here’s to a relationship that is with you ALWAYS…
Here’s to a lifetime of companionship!!!

People, Success

Happy – not anymore?

Even thebiggest happiness could being about a place of sadness if you happen to compare yourself to others.

Someone else, younger than you, is going to get all the things you have been waiting for.

Does it feel bad! Maybe yes.

Should it feel bad? The answer to this could never be yes.

What’s the solution, then? The solution is to put yourself in more I more situations like these because that only would help you work harder and challenge yourself more often.

Think over it. Someone else won, you lost; and then you created your own plan of confidence a reality.

Truth be told

More wisdom, less work

More I have stacked having lesser work that is more valuable and comes with bigger responsibilities, the more I’ve to started realise that having more times precious.

Which means:

– “urgent work” is not important

– having a schedule is the way to get important things done.

– No is the biggest superpower.

It turns out, whatever we were taught in school – staying busy, working more, and saying yes in order to be liked – lose their power as we gain more wisdom.

Humour

A peek into my DM’s

People reach out on social media to get work done. Quite normal.

But I don’t do this kinda work 🙂

Some of the reactions of my team members:

1. I have a nibha. I can assist you in writing 🤣🤣🤣

2. I have some unsent letters, lemme know if you want to use them. Doing a giveaway 🙂

3. O boy, ye bhi outsource hota hai?

And many 🤣🤣🤣 emojis.

Have you ever done something weird like this?

Family

Dear Maa Papa

Dear Maa Papa,

I understand I sometimes come across as a weird human being. Someone who does not think like you, lives like you or even loves like you.

But you know what, nevertheless, I do love you.

Because that is what you both have taught me 🙂

Maa Papa, sometimes there are disagreements between us. And that sometimes turns to always.
You want me to be successful. But want that to happen under your eyes.
How will I ever learn to walk if you never allow me to get off your lap?
How will I ever learn to face the world if you keep telling me to run away from the world?
How will I ever create my own identity if according to you my identity could be best created at home while Papa may still go to the shop daily and do his Internet-based business and save thousands on rent and administration expenses?

Maybe you think my need for wings is too much. But you know what, it is just a basic necessity. Because when you attempt to chip off my wings, you don’t draw me closer to you . You rather push me further away.

When you both talk with each other, wondering what is the best way to deal with me, let me help you out:

  • Accept me for who I am.
  • I won’t betray your trust ever. Yes, I have been in two bad relationships, but as I reflect, I was just searching for love outside because I didn’t get acceptance inside.
  • I really do not need the comforts of home. I want to figure out life, and come back to you when I am in pain. Right now, whenever I am in pain, I go to deepest of silences and figure out things eventually. You may believe I am angry, but in reality, I am just coping up with your absence despite your presence.
  • Trust me, when you say that it’s okay if I don’t make much money – I do not want to live on your money. I want to pay my rent, all my bills and learn how life functions. If comfort was all that is, why don’t we bring in all sisters and brothers in law to live with us? Because they are “settled”? Is settling down mean having your name on a marriage certificate? How about thinking of bringing back an “already settled” daughter because she is not married?

Like you say, it is difficult to talk to me. That is the reason Maa Papa, I have stopped expressing myself altogether.

Maybe this makes you believe that I hate you. However, the reality is that I ache so much for your love and acceptance that I have drawn myself inwards. That’s it! How will I not love you? I do! I love you both so dearly that I do not want to bring any proofs to express it.

But as I know I am capable of taking care of myself physically, I do expect you to accept me that way. That would make me want to come home more often. Right now, even when I want to, I just don’t – because you would feel I am not brave. I am brave, however, I miss home even at home.

Hope to be home some day 🙂

PS: I love you to infinity, Maa Papa :)))

Family

Parents and kids

When parents force their grown up kids to do something, kids feel pressured.

When kids finally take their plunge, they feel guilty.

And I want you to know – in either situations, do what is right. It never goes out of style. When you do that, you don’t need to feel guilty. Do your best. And then trust yourself.

Knowing Yourself

The best thing of 2021

I recently conducted an AMA on Instagram about the best thing that had happened to people in 2021 so far.

The responses were surprising.

While I had expected people to say things like got a new job, promotion, etc., most responses went with:

1. Started prioritising myself.

2. Taking care of what I want.

3. Took up yoga to for myself.

4. Moved to a new city.

5. Learnt to live on my own.

And so on and so forth.

Loved it! When people take care of themselves, they are able to take care of others more. Which isn’t true vice versa.

Looking forward to having more of them and seeing people get more powerful.

Art and Creativity, Success

Creativity and infidelity

Creativity is a weird companion.

Exactly 24 hours back, I was bursting with ideas to write blogs on.

Right now, I don’t know what to write.

Seems like creativity has been infidel to me and left me. Except that isn’t. Because creativity is a process. If you show up, it always does.

If you are reading this blog post till here, you know that creativity has kept up. Because I kept my promise of writing this post.

Creativity is always loyal. If we are.

Knowing Yourself

Don’t do it

Someone left a bike like this outside our building.

We leave our imprints wherever we go.

And it becomes a karma.

Imagine how many people are going to give opposite of blessings to such tiny aspects of what you do.

Earn blessings, not opposite of those.

Emotions, Family

I hear you, sista <3

I had watched Big Boss Season 1.

After that, my intellect saved me forever.

However recently, I came across a Big Boss clip on Instagram, that made me think deeply.

Here’s how it goes:
The contestants are being allowed to meet their family. When Jasmin’s parents come, they force her to play her own game alone, and not with Aly. Aly was her friend and they both fell in love during the show. They show a slightly negative vibe towards her friend.

Maybe her parents are against her marriage with him, we don’t know.

But the way they told this to her made me think of two things:

  1. They could have refused for marriage when she came out, at least she would have her parents (which she does not have in Big Boss house) if not Aly with her. Har cheez ka sahi samay hota hai.
  2. For playing her game alone, this is how most parents tell their kids to do all their lives: Not to make friends. They will play on you. But you know what, trust others to the extent you cannot afford to lose. If you don’t invest, you won’t grow. If you invest too much to lose yourself, you will of course lose yourself. But advising a locked daughter to play alone and not “trust strangers” where anyway there are a lot of mental health issues going on, shows how much as a society we lack trust.

I feel for you sista.

This too, shall pass.

Honestly, I do not give any damn about her relationship with Aly because we don’t know what would happen when they both go out. But not making friends and playing alone is not how the game of life is played.

If you don’t get out of yourself, you’ve lost already.

Documenting the Day

Documenting NY habits

This year, I’m doing something different: creating habits instead of goals. While I do have some goals at the back of my mind, they’re all effective when we build systems around them.

So here are mine:

1. Create one IG reel + one LinkedIn post daily. And write a Twitter thread every Tuesday about lessons from the book I’m reading.

2. Sleep by 9:30 PM. Daily.

3. Have daily habits of reading and meditation, and check my chart daily at EOD.

The only person between you and your happiness and success is you, and let good habits nudge you away from the old you.

Happy New Year folks! I’d love to listen to your habits, DM me on IG/Twitter/ LinkedIn with the handle nishthagehija26.

See you then, and 2021 will be the best year of your life!

Emotions

Wouldn’t agree on this one…

I read somewhere that pain is just pain. Someone else’s intensity of pain doesn’t reduce your pain.

While most people may agree, I tend to disagree.

Someone else’s intensity of pain might be different from yours. And if we are unable to acknowledge that, it makes us more selfish and less empathetic.

If we are in pain and still can acknowledge someone else is in pain, we are truly a caring human being.