Dear Maa Papa

Dear Maa Papa,

I understand I sometimes come across as a weird human being. Someone who does not think like you, lives like you or even loves like you.

But you know what, nevertheless, I do love you.

Because that is what you both have taught me 🙂

Maa Papa, sometimes there are disagreements between us. And that sometimes turns to always.
You want me to be successful. But want that to happen under your eyes.
How will I ever learn to walk if you never allow me to get off your lap?
How will I ever learn to face the world if you keep telling me to run away from the world?
How will I ever create my own identity if according to you my identity could be best created at home while Papa may still go to the shop daily and do his Internet-based business and save thousands on rent and administration expenses?

Maybe you think my need for wings is too much. But you know what, it is just a basic necessity. Because when you attempt to chip off my wings, you don’t draw me closer to you . You rather push me further away.

When you both talk with each other, wondering what is the best way to deal with me, let me help you out:

  • Accept me for who I am.
  • I won’t betray your trust ever. Yes, I have been in two bad relationships, but as I reflect, I was just searching for love outside because I didn’t get acceptance inside.
  • I really do not need the comforts of home. I want to figure out life, and come back to you when I am in pain. Right now, whenever I am in pain, I go to deepest of silences and figure out things eventually. You may believe I am angry, but in reality, I am just coping up with your absence despite your presence.
  • Trust me, when you say that it’s okay if I don’t make much money – I do not want to live on your money. I want to pay my rent, all my bills and learn how life functions. If comfort was all that is, why don’t we bring in all sisters and brothers in law to live with us? Because they are “settled”? Is settling down mean having your name on a marriage certificate? How about thinking of bringing back an “already settled” daughter because she is not married?

Like you say, it is difficult to talk to me. That is the reason Maa Papa, I have stopped expressing myself altogether.

Maybe this makes you believe that I hate you. However, the reality is that I ache so much for your love and acceptance that I have drawn myself inwards. That’s it! How will I not love you? I do! I love you both so dearly that I do not want to bring any proofs to express it.

But as I know I am capable of taking care of myself physically, I do expect you to accept me that way. That would make me want to come home more often. Right now, even when I want to, I just don’t – because you would feel I am not brave. I am brave, however, I miss home even at home.

Hope to be home some day 🙂

PS: I love you to infinity, Maa Papa :)))

Parents and kids

When parents force their grown up kids to do something, kids feel pressured.

When kids finally take their plunge, they feel guilty.

And I want you to know – in either situations, do what is right. It never goes out of style. When you do that, you don’t need to feel guilty. Do your best. And then trust yourself.

The best thing of 2021

I recently conducted an AMA on Instagram about the best thing that had happened to people in 2021 so far.

The responses were surprising.

While I had expected people to say things like got a new job, promotion, etc., most responses went with:

1. Started prioritising myself.

2. Taking care of what I want.

3. Took up yoga to for myself.

4. Moved to a new city.

5. Learnt to live on my own.

And so on and so forth.

Loved it! When people take care of themselves, they are able to take care of others more. Which isn’t true vice versa.

Looking forward to having more of them and seeing people get more powerful.

Creativity and infidelity

Creativity is a weird companion.

Exactly 24 hours back, I was bursting with ideas to write blogs on.

Right now, I don’t know what to write.

Seems like creativity has been infidel to me and left me. Except that isn’t. Because creativity is a process. If you show up, it always does.

If you are reading this blog post till here, you know that creativity has kept up. Because I kept my promise of writing this post.

Creativity is always loyal. If we are.

I hear you, sista <3

I had watched Big Boss Season 1.

After that, my intellect saved me forever.

However recently, I came across a Big Boss clip on Instagram, that made me think deeply.

Here’s how it goes:
The contestants are being allowed to meet their family. When Jasmin’s parents come, they force her to play her own game alone, and not with Aly. Aly was her friend and they both fell in love during the show. They show a slightly negative vibe towards her friend.

Maybe her parents are against her marriage with him, we don’t know.

But the way they told this to her made me think of two things:

  1. They could have refused for marriage when she came out, at least she would have her parents (which she does not have in Big Boss house) if not Aly with her. Har cheez ka sahi samay hota hai.
  2. For playing her game alone, this is how most parents tell their kids to do all their lives: Not to make friends. They will play on you. But you know what, trust others to the extent you cannot afford to lose. If you don’t invest, you won’t grow. If you invest too much to lose yourself, you will of course lose yourself. But advising a locked daughter to play alone and not “trust strangers” where anyway there are a lot of mental health issues going on, shows how much as a society we lack trust.

I feel for you sista.

This too, shall pass.

Honestly, I do not give any damn about her relationship with Aly because we don’t know what would happen when they both go out. But not making friends and playing alone is not how the game of life is played.

If you don’t get out of yourself, you’ve lost already.

Documenting NY habits

This year, I’m doing something different: creating habits instead of goals. While I do have some goals at the back of my mind, they’re all effective when we build systems around them.

So here are mine:

1. Create one IG reel + one LinkedIn post daily. And write a Twitter thread every Tuesday about lessons from the book I’m reading.

2. Sleep by 9:30 PM. Daily.

3. Have daily habits of reading and meditation, and check my chart daily at EOD.

The only person between you and your happiness and success is you, and let good habits nudge you away from the old you.

Happy New Year folks! I’d love to listen to your habits, DM me on IG/Twitter/ LinkedIn with the handle nishthagehija26.

See you then, and 2021 will be the best year of your life!

Wouldn’t agree on this one…

I read somewhere that pain is just pain. Someone else’s intensity of pain doesn’t reduce your pain.

While most people may agree, I tend to disagree.

Someone else’s intensity of pain might be different from yours. And if we are unable to acknowledge that, it makes us more selfish and less empathetic.

If we are in pain and still can acknowledge someone else is in pain, we are truly a caring human being.

I almost forgot…

I almost forgot to write today’s blog post.

And now, while sleeping, reminded of that.

So, what is it about today?

Hmm, I’m thinking of charging for consulting as well over the call. Okay, the client is going to pay me beautifully when the work starts, however why do I behave like a fool and offer 2.5 hours of free consulting?

Nishtha, grow up!

No one will value you if you don’t do that to yourself.

That said, the last leg of brainstorming with the client is left, will seek guidance from God in meditation early morning tomorrow, if it is right to charge or be modest if the contract is already yours.

Chalo, good night peops!

Nothing to say

Today there’s nothing much to say.

Lost a close Uncle. Had met him two days after Diwali, last month. Little did anyone of us know that this was the last one.

While we were cordial and cool in our last meeting, I do realise that we don’t know which one is going to be our last meeting.

Lesson: Treat every meeting with people like the last one. We never know.