Tag: parents

Things NEVER to do with parents

1. Never touch their nerves. Just listen.

2. Do your own thing. Even if they aren’t happy, you can never make anyone happy if you aren’t.

3. Don’t tell them your struggles. While you will move on, they will stay married to it.

Though most people won’t agree to it, if their parents won’t see them, they would still be agreeing to it.

Our generation is so cool!

Sometimes all I have is sympathy for our parents’ generation.

Their parents saw the partition of the nation – leaving their country, their childhood, all that they called “theirs”, to come to another place just to survive.

In this need for survival, was the generation of our parents born.

Thus, the upbringing they got was of stress, not having enough time, and always lack of means.

Which is why our parents are the way they are.
They have been conditioned so.
They were never taught to love.
Perhaps because they were never loved.
And then one fine day, we pop up and expect them to be cool because that is what we are surrounded by – cool kids just like us.

Now that we know, we can still do what we want to do, while being respectful of who they are. It isn’t just for them, it is for the acknowledgement of how much they are trying to adapt, because they care for you:)

Parents and kids

When parents force their grown up kids to do something, kids feel pressured.

When kids finally take their plunge, they feel guilty.

And I want you to know – in either situations, do what is right. It never goes out of style. When you do that, you don’t need to feel guilty. Do your best. And then trust yourself.

I hear you, sista <3

I had watched Big Boss Season 1.

After that, my intellect saved me forever.

However recently, I came across a Big Boss clip on Instagram, that made me think deeply.

Here’s how it goes:
The contestants are being allowed to meet their family. When Jasmin’s parents come, they force her to play her own game alone, and not with Aly. Aly was her friend and they both fell in love during the show. They show a slightly negative vibe towards her friend.

Maybe her parents are against her marriage with him, we don’t know.

But the way they told this to her made me think of two things:

  1. They could have refused for marriage when she came out, at least she would have her parents (which she does not have in Big Boss house) if not Aly with her. Har cheez ka sahi samay hota hai.
  2. For playing her game alone, this is how most parents tell their kids to do all their lives: Not to make friends. They will play on you. But you know what, trust others to the extent you cannot afford to lose. If you don’t invest, you won’t grow. If you invest too much to lose yourself, you will of course lose yourself. But advising a locked daughter to play alone and not “trust strangers” where anyway there are a lot of mental health issues going on, shows how much as a society we lack trust.

I feel for you sista.

This too, shall pass.

Honestly, I do not give any damn about her relationship with Aly because we don’t know what would happen when they both go out. But not making friends and playing alone is not how the game of life is played.

If you don’t get out of yourself, you’ve lost already.

Do your parents also say this?

I did a sin.
I opened the fridge today.

Is it really a sin?
It is, if you have to put something back and you have parents that trust you to the moon and back:)

Lol.

So my Mom saw me putting a steel dabba of halwa back into the fridge, when she remarked, if you are unable to do it, let it be, I’ll do it.

Yes Mom, I’ve lived most of my adult life away from home. Gone through heartbreaks without you being aware of it. Living in the capital of the country figuring out life. And lo and behold, I won’t have the awareness to put a dabba into the fridge. Such fun.

Anyway, yes parents are suffering and trying their best, but, sometimes you have to put a virtual gulab jamun in your mouth and stay silent.

For your sake.

And if you still want to take some action, I wrote about it in the newsletter I sent today. You can read it here.

The abuse

For a kid, the parents would never abuse them.

Until they do. For every interaction they have with their kids.

The abuse, sadly, is something which could not be filtered for profanity because it does not use profane words.

It comes in mild words and powerful programming like:

“You won’t be able to do it.”

“Don’t do this. You will fail.”

“You are no good.”

Parents keep telling this to kids, until it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

None of us had a perfect childhood. That’s not the problem, that’s the solution.

Because now we have the pen to write the script. As difficult as it may sound, we all write our script daily.

We may choose the script today. Since it is presumably not going to be a repeated one, it is going to take efforts. Yet without efforts, do you want your today to be equally self abusive?