When I couldn’t help my Mom…

There was one instance last week, where my Mom needed my help.
And I couldn’t.

More so, I’m glad I couldn’t.

Here’s why:

I do not have membership of any OTT: Netflix, Prime, Hotstar – none.
This is something that I’m proud of – for saving hours of my precious time.

So last week when my Mom missed an episode of a serial, she asked me to search for it in Hotstar app.

And lo’ an behold, as much a techie I am, I couldn’t search for it! Tried and made errors, still no success!

A beautiful example of why ignorance is bliss and superpower sometimes.

While my Mom managed to forgive me, I just loved this non-awareness of mine.

Our mind, of course, is a beautiful garden that doesn’t deserve the seeds of hatred from the TV.

Do you have such a weird habit?

Your house’s on fire!

I came across a clip of an interview of Kobe, the legendary basketball player who passed away in an air crash earlier this year.

The interviewer was talking about a game, where both teams had to do a tie-breaker of final throws. Once Kobe’s turn came, he had a Achilles tendon, yet he got up, made his throw, and finished the game like a star.

When asked about the reason, Kobe said:

“Let’s say you have an Achilles, your hamstring is torn, your doctor tells you to have a bed rest, not move at all. So you’re at your home.

And suddenly, the house’s on fire. The kids are upstairs, the wife is somewhere else, and now you have to save them. You will instantly forget your hamstring, grab your kids, make sure your wife is safe, and get out of the house. You won’t remember the hamstring because your family is more important than the injury. So when the game is more important than the injury itself, you don’t feel that injury.”

When the game is more important than the injury itself, you don’t feel that injury.

What is the game that we are into?

Injury or the kind that Kobe was into?

Me and my parents

Today I wasn’t feeling good about my relationship with my parents. Somewhere I want them to talk about things that interest me.

However, later I realised that this is not the first time I have had the same emotions. Happened multiple times.

Till when would I allow myself to wallow in the same pain? Is my time so easy to be wasted?

So here’s what I did to keep me grounded:

• Made a gratitude list. My mood is my responsibility.

• Played a spiritual and practical video on YouTube while working

• Actually spoke with them. Because perhaps that is what they think of me.

That’s it. Problem solved. Rinse and repeat, the next time it occurs.

Lessons from 66 year old father

Yesterday my father turned 66. While his life has innumerable lessons, here are some that inspire me today:

1. Picked up exercise during lockdown. Still continues it for an hour daily.

2. Loves to go to his work daily. A trait missing in a lot of millennials.

3. Is always there to listen to my problems, without judgement. Ever.

4. Will give up anything but never honesty. That, in turn, brings him tons of blessings.

5. Most importantly, understands the space I am in. Thus, never forces me or even brings up the topic of marriage. Being a boomer and raised by parents who witnessed WW2 and partition of the country, this mindset shift from him is the best gift he could give to me.

Here’s a closing note: Him and I have different points of view on almost everything. Yet, you will miss your father when he is gone. Love him despite the differences. No one would love you like him, and this comes from someone who is the biggest rebel to her father. 🤗

About the weekend

Yesterday was a day purposefully missed out on blog.

Played badminton with cousins after a really long time. Covid has brought all the memories of having fun with each other back.

Also attended two online classes of two people I admire a lot.

And said no to someone who has no sense of respecting someone else’s (and their own) time. Without letting them know. Felt great. Learnt better tactics.

Honestly I could have done that. But I wanted me time. Sadly, our society values and respects us only when we are “doing something” and not when we are chilling and spending time with family.

That’s sad. And we need to change it. How? A. By taking some me time. B. By not judging others when they take their own.

Society just doesn’t go for a bath and gets cleaner. We do it each day by what we do. And by what we choose not to do.

We need more people who understand us.

We need more people to respect us.

We need people who could see how hard we are working.

Amidst all of that, have we taken time to acknowledge our own journey?

And have we dug deep and acknowledged someone else?

If the answer to both these is yes, do we then really need someone to appreciate us?

How to find that balance

Today I was supposed to meet some deadlines.

Then my niece came over, and she came specially to play with me.

So I had two choices – to scold her to come uninformed, or to play with her.

I did the latter.

Because you know what?

I have always stood by doing great work. So now I had a great bandwidth to delay.

It’s all about finding that balance. Do epic work to such a large extent, that when you don’t, it doesn’t make any difference:

The abuse

For a kid, the parents would never abuse them.

Until they do. For every interaction they have with their kids.

The abuse, sadly, is something which could not be filtered for profanity because it does not use profane words.

It comes in mild words and powerful programming like:

“You won’t be able to do it.”

“Don’t do this. You will fail.”

“You are no good.”

Parents keep telling this to kids, until it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

None of us had a perfect childhood. That’s not the problem, that’s the solution.

Because now we have the pen to write the script. As difficult as it may sound, we all write our script daily.

We may choose the script today. Since it is presumably not going to be a repeated one, it is going to take efforts. Yet without efforts, do you want your today to be equally self abusive?

Some beautiful quarantine learnings

1. Watering plants makes you feel humbler and happier.

2. Your parents need nothing other than your presence.

3. Cleaning with wiper is both abs and back workout, sweeping the floor is a great cardio.

4. Home cooked chocolate cake is super delicious.

5. Life is wonderful without TV serials!