How past trauma affects work

Someone I know was in a bad relationship in the past.
Multiple traumatic experiences with the same guy.
He used to leave her, then come and physically and mentally exploit her, and the chain continued for several years.

Until one day she finally got the courage to get up and leave.

But you know what, this trauma continued for several years in her work as well.

She believed she was not deserving of getting her needs met at work, so she wanted to leave from work at the tiniest of discomfort.
She never went up to talk to her clients or bosses, because she was never spoken to in the most intimate relationships.
More than anything else, if anyone at work praised her work, she felt it was a lie just like the guy “loved” her and went away multiple times.

Here’s the truth: When you look at that guy, his social media profiles, his work background, he comes across as an Angel. Like no one could be as divine as him. Yet he is the cause of someone else’s deepest trauma.

Sometimes it helps to see that our desire for needs becomes someone’s long-term pain. Are we ready to bear the consequence of that karma?

Strange things about me

Today I’ll share some strange things about me. Which are 100% true.

  1. I’ve NEVER had a WiFi at my place. Because I don’t watch any show. So why do you need to screw yourself all the time with the Internet?
  2. That said, never watched any IPL match ever. Ever.
  3. I don’t order out. The last time I had Zomato on my phone was in (the first week of) March 2020 when I was travelling for a work assignment.
  4. Exited family groups. Yes, I’m allergic to negativity.
  5. I miss out 99% of family gatherings :)))

With that, there’s a strange twitter thread I wrote about how I work only for two hours per day. There you go! Enjoy 🙂

Productivity like never

If you feel you have less work to do today

And it’s okay if you put off the most important task to later

Just to waste a few minutes here and there

The Law of Productivity (that no one uses the nomenclature of, however, it exists), says that you will still be unproductive till the end of the day.

Is it something that you really want?

The world is glorifying what they have done.
Making all attempts to get famous (nothing wrong btw).
Or justifying why their parents failed them.

I get that.
I hear that.
I understand where you are coming from.

The only question is: Do you really want it?

If yes, please stop reading this right now.

However, if what you are chasing is something you don’t like fully, perhaps today is a good day to start with thinking alone for 30 minutes. Don’t you think so?

The Taj difference

Last weekend, as I went with my team to Goa, we stayed in the Taj.

In the past, I have stayed in several 3 and 4 star hotels of small and medium brands, however, staying in the Taj showed what luxury looks like. Here is what were the differences between the Taj and other hotels:

  1. The cutlery was kept in an envelope on your table. Always. It made it look so neat.
  2. There was a table + 2 chairs in each balcony. Didn’t see it in any hotel or resort so far.
  3. The buttons had names printed on them – vestibule, master, directions of lights, etc.
  4. The fridge cabinet was beautiful – looked like 9 synchronous drawers.
  5. The TV was not fitted ON the wall, it was fitted IN a custom made hole inside the wall.
  6. The Chef prepared onion and garlic free upma and sambhar for me – because that is how I like it.
  7. The breakfast menu – every head had 2-3 more items than the usual buffet – which made it grand. Also, each head was kept separately – a strategy to think for other hotels.
  8. An indoor AND an outdoor restaurant by the sea.

These were the differences I noticed, other than the usual ones, such as – bigger rooms, nice toiletries, outdoor decorations, super clean and classic washrooms, lotsss of bottles of water being given in housekeeping, glass door on the bathroom but nothing was visible, no need to ask for bathroom slippers or toothbrushes like other hotels – they were by default present, clean roads of the resort, etc.

Overall, a wonderful experience! The Taj rocks 🙂

Okay, some pics here.

PS: If you look on the outside, there was no difference between a 4 star and the Taj. However, when you look closely, you see all the differences.

Cold rice and hot burning dal

Since I was burning with fever yesterday, the rice I prepared day before yesterday was used yesterday as well.

Used it as fried rice for lunch and dal rice for dinner.

The dal was freshly prepared, and the rice were cold. So when I poured hot burning dal on rice, the mixture still seemed sort of cold.

It made me think – as to how much power does being “chilled out” have. No matter how hot (or angry) someone else is, when you are chilled out, anything that comes in your contact also gets chilled out.

Would you want to give this a try?

What an influencer!

These days you are learning a lot about my meditation retreat experiences. You’ll have them coming more, for the coming few days.

So while on that retreat, I happened to meet an influencer who stays there in the ashram. And when I went to meet him in his office (that was adjacent to the room he stayed in), I was stunned by what I saw!

While the ashram is big, I had thought his room as well to be one.

But that’s what his room was a reminder of: giving, sacrifice and living as who you are – not as what you want to show.

And meeting him was indeed a wonderful experience 🙂

Stories on the street

Each morning as I walk or drive for around ten minutes to go to my meditation class, there are countless stories to witness on the street.

Here’s the two I witnessed today:

  1. A man was standing with his cart containing buckets of pickles. That is what he would be selling whole day, to make a living. Here he was, standing in a corner, serving pickle in a small bag. He then called out to the trash collector to come, so he could have his breakfast.
    Such beautiful thing. Most of us don’t do philanthropy because we feel we ourselves don’t have enough. But it is only in giving, that we receive the most. You do not have to empty your bank accounts. A small act of care each day, is more than enough. If someone who makes his living selling pickles can do it, what excuse do you and I have?
  2. Another woman was brooming the road, with the broom taylor made for thick surfaces. It is unlike the one that we use in our homes. It’s streaks are thicker, which makes it easier to remove dust from there.
    As this woman was brooming the road, I noticed a strange thing: that I could not observe dust on the road. Yet, as she broomed, the dust became prominent in every movement.
    That was a beautiful lesson: around how the deepest things are not visible. It is only through tough scratching that they surface. So are the things in our lives. Our deepest pains are buried behind us cracking jokes, being on time, being addicted to work, etc. Only when a deeper pain comes that it brings all that is within – to the forefront.
    A wonderful reminder of how we pain brings the best in us.

That said, there is a third story as well – story of you and I – walking on the roads, streets, malls, etc.
We get the stories that we see. And we become them.

The question is: What do we see?

Pre-weekend lessons of life

  1. Everyone is right. Even if we think otherwise.
  2. So are you. Even if you think otherwise.
  3. In case of an emotional outburst, spend time with a good book.
  4. You become whom you spend time with on Instagram. Choose that wisely 🙂
  5. The world is feeding you a template each day. What you do in your capacity to be a rebel defines who you are.

Does love die?

Love is like a plant, it is supposed to blossom.

In the initial years, it requires a lot of care to grow. If we are careful about that for at least a decade, it will automatically nurture itself later. Then it would become the strong tree, that gives shade and does not require much of nurturing.

But if we don’t nurture it in the start, it does wither. And slowly goes away.

Coming to the question: Does love die? Of course it does. When we don’t nurture the first few years with care and trust, be it in any relationship, nothing is left. If it is a relationship we cannot run away from, such as family, we learn to accept them – but there is hardly any connection. If there is a relationship that we can go away from – a partner, friend, business relationship – the best we could do for them is bless them!

Love, btw, begins with yourself. But that’s for another day.