Self-control to not check WhatsApp because it is just a time-pass.
Self-control to block the negative people because you love yourself.
Self-control to sleep at a fixed time every night because early morning meditation and workout is superimportant to you.
Self-control to distance yourself from “friends” that drain your energy because you can’t love anyone unless you love yourself.
Self-control to have the self-control to not talk about this self-control in public and rather live by it, because doers rule the world.
I did not love myself at all, when I was in two toxic relationships:
- You’ll look good with this.
- Wear this, don’t wear this.
- Quit writing your blog.
- Quit preparing for CA.
- Just quit, just listen to me and I will love you.
I lol at myself how I was such a fool to call such instances “love”.
Anyway, those were idiotic steps on my part. But today I received a finalised video about a project that I’m working on. And life’s come a full circle!
Don’t know what would happen to this project, but I’m glad to have never quit and didn’t choose this kind of “love”.
If you have a choice between love and career, do they really love you if they don’t love your choice for your career?
PS: In the new project, I was looking exactly opposite of what these gentlemen wanted me to look like. Self love is super power! Happy Valentine’s Day peops! Hope you love yourself 🙂
Someone said something mean to you. Someone dear to you.
A friend asked you to work for free for them, something for which you charge in six figures.
You did your 150% in a job and still your manager found flaws in your work.
All these things seem mean. And they are, undoubtedly.
The one on the other side has taken an extreme position without thinking of what you are going through or what efforts you would have put in.
They shouldn’t have done this. I understand.
However, the reality of life is that people will continue doing things or saying things that are mean or not tilted in our favour. That has been happening since eternity and will continue happening.
Will you allow yourself to be hurt every single time?
Will you allow them to take your mental space every single time?
Will you never show compassion towards yourself like you show towards others?
My friend, you are so powerful that you can bless even those who not only say mean things, rather are conspiring against you. Just don’t allow that trash to be accumulated in your mind and see the difference!
It will take hard work. It will require patience. It will ask you to be the best of yourself.
But being the worst version of yourself by getting affected wasn’t the best way to live your life either! Isn’t it?
You must have seen people partying on the beach on Instagram.
Or making teddy bears of snow.
And making you feel like it is your life only that is at loss.
Here’s a silent truth:
Someone I know personally posted a vacay pic of theirs, with a thoughtful caption and how happy they were truly being in this flow state of life. However, I know they are going through a really, really tough time. A super tough time.
It is great that they took a break, no doubts about that.
But here is what I want you to consider:
- Social media = away from reality. Almost always. Rather always.
- People show that they are enjoying because they have FOMO – they have also seen others showing their “happy” pics and would do anything to show that they are also happy.
- Our real nature is happiness. When we are away from it, we would do anything to get closer or appear closer to happiness. If we get close to real happiness, awesome! If we get close to faking happiness, our hole of sadness gets deeper.
Choose the form of happiness you want to live in. And the coolest of the coolest people, who are your (real) role models, they hardly share their vacay pics online with a “success-filled” caption. Because they know that real happiness is the remaining 350 days as well, when we are not on a holiday.
Read the above line again.
The past was horrible.
How could they do it to you?
How could you do it to yourself?
Do these thoughts sometimes encircle your mind? Like if that person from the past came back to you right now, you would hit them and vent out all your frustration?
Here’s the catch baby: Even if you did that, that won’t take away the past and its bruises.
To heal yourself, you have to heal yourself.
That is difficult.
That is the real hard work.
That will break you down into pieces several times before it actually makes you.
That will make you question yourself over and over again.
However, that will also be the right thing for you.
What’s the point of being behind those prison bars when on the sides of those bars is open space to run anywhere you need to?
We had gone for an official team retreat. Most of us were staying in Noida, and we had gone for a 2D 1N stay in a resort in Gurgaon. The team was packed in 3-4 cars, one of which was mine. I was prepared to listen to the female-driver jokes, because not getting affected by them had become a forte by then.
I remember we had halted at a place, and the male colleague got out of the back seat and came to the driving seat to me, and said he will drive. That was rude, however in a society that anyway screws female drivers, this was a normal meme material. I politely refused, stating that I love driving long distances, and I wanted to drive.
While I did get a “chance” to drive, why am I sharing this story with you today?
Because when we say we need equal rights for women, et al, we need to remember that most often women willingly give up their rights.
Having the awareness to respectfully refuse, is the Super Power we didn’t even know existed.
Stand for yourself, people! How will anyone help you out if you aren’t in a position to help yourself out?
Sometimes it is the mistake of others.
Sometimes someone else’s mistake may cost you a lot of years or maybe even your career.
Sometimes a whole lifetime is not enough to rectify what others did.
The question is,
“How are you going to live the rest of your life?”
If blaming them could help, it would have already helped you out.
If blaming them couldn’t help, let’s think of a different story.
The way you treat yourself…
The way you check phone when you should be sitting silent…
The way you allow yourself to be replaceable…
The way there are people on social media deciding your life…
The way you allow someone else to be an influencer and not your own self…
…is this the right way you should be treating yourself?
Would you treat your most loved one like that and take pride in that?