Does love die?

Love is like a plant, it is supposed to blossom.

In the initial years, it requires a lot of care to grow. If we are careful about that for at least a decade, it will automatically nurture itself later. Then it would become the strong tree, that gives shade and does not require much of nurturing.

But if we don’t nurture it in the start, it does wither. And slowly goes away.

Coming to the question: Does love die? Of course it does. When we don’t nurture the first few years with care and trust, be it in any relationship, nothing is left. If it is a relationship we cannot run away from, such as family, we learn to accept them – but there is hardly any connection. If there is a relationship that we can go away from – a partner, friend, business relationship – the best we could do for them is bless them!

Love, btw, begins with yourself. But that’s for another day.

How transformation feels like

We don’t go from eating junk to eating healthy.
We go from finding solace in food to finding solace in inner powers.

We don’t transform from an angry teenager to a calm one easily.
We go from using energy on others to using it on our own senses.

We don’t go from being fat to think.
We go to changing the stories in our head.

We don’t become a morning person one day all of a sudden.
We become one when we die in the morning despite working whole night.

It turns out, transformation does not mean having a change.
Transformation means using the old habit to become a new one.

Use the bad to become the good.

The best thing of 2021

I recently conducted an AMA on Instagram about the best thing that had happened to people in 2021 so far.

The responses were surprising.

While I had expected people to say things like got a new job, promotion, etc., most responses went with:

1. Started prioritising myself.

2. Taking care of what I want.

3. Took up yoga to for myself.

4. Moved to a new city.

5. Learnt to live on my own.

And so on and so forth.

Loved it! When people take care of themselves, they are able to take care of others more. Which isn’t true vice versa.

Looking forward to having more of them and seeing people get more powerful.

Creativity and infidelity

Creativity is a weird companion.

Exactly 24 hours back, I was bursting with ideas to write blogs on.

Right now, I don’t know what to write.

Seems like creativity has been infidel to me and left me. Except that isn’t. Because creativity is a process. If you show up, it always does.

If you are reading this blog post till here, you know that creativity has kept up. Because I kept my promise of writing this post.

Creativity is always loyal. If we are.

Pre-valentine post: Just quit!

I did not love myself at all, when I was in two toxic relationships:

  1. You’ll look good with this.
  2. Wear this, don’t wear this.
  3. Quit writing your blog.
  4. Quit preparing for CA.
  5. Just quit, just listen to me and I will love you.

I lol at myself how I was such a fool to call such instances “love”.

Anyway, those were idiotic steps on my part. But today I received a finalised video about a project that I’m working on. And life’s come a full circle!

Don’t know what would happen to this project, but I’m glad to have never quit and didn’t choose this kind of “love”.

If you have a choice between love and career, do they really love you if they don’t love your choice for your career?

PS: In the new project, I was looking exactly opposite of what these gentlemen wanted me to look like. Self love is super power! Happy Valentine’s Day peops! Hope you love yourself 🙂

It’s great that you’re not a laptop

My laptop turned ten this January. (Lol, looks like I’m talking about my kid. Haha, except that it is not my kid, I’ve just typed so much that it is just my therapist taking all the mental health issues outta me 😀 )

So, coming to the laptop.
It’s slow.
Can’t work on videos.
Since my work is primarily writing, we are still in a relationship.
But it takes time to download from and upload to the drive.
With too many tabs open, may even occassionally hang.
But it’s trying its best.

Here’s a fact: This laptop is a laptop. Which means it does not have a replaceable CPU. Which means it can only be replaced for a new one.

But here’s a bigger fact: You are not a laptop.
Your brain is not fixed.
You can change it.

Your body replaces itself almost every year.
You can change your body.

Your lifestyle isn’t fixed, no matter how trapped you are.
Your tiniest of changes can make the biggest of differences.

You are not a laptop.
Don’t live your life like one.

Do you have any evidence to support this?

This was a random question by one of my smart school friends on one of my tweets.

It got me thinking.

Not to think of what to respond, rather to think of where we have landed ourselves.

We want evidences of thoughts we think intuitively.
We want to buy a car recommended by most people.
We want to wear the brand our boss wears because subconsciously it would make us look cool in front of him.
We want to send our kid to the school that promises best education, unmindful of the fact that the best schooling happens at home.
We want to…

All these are good wants. But that’s all they are. Wants.
They override the innate need that we all have: Needs.

One of our fundamental human needs is listening to our intuition. It will never have evidences. Nor does it want any. It is full by itself not having to want (or need) any validation.

Organ donation and our levels as humans

There’s a country where citizens become organ donors by default on attaining a certain age. It’s a law. They can choose to opt out if they want to, however, they will be in the last priority for consideration as organ recipients.

However, this is not possible in developing countries where there are fights on basic things like bank accounts or food and shelter.

There is nothing wrong or right. It is just the culture that pushes people to think certain way. It’s the reason why desis act like firangs in the countries of firangs. The culture gets it done from them.

This pretty much explains why we do what we do, and why is it impossible to change people without their prior choice or change of culture.

Someone who grew up in corporate culture does not know the nuances of starting up at all. Perhaps an eighteen year old knows more.
Someone who grew up in an Omkara apartment in Worli Mumbai won’t ever understand the nitty-gritties of arranging the basic things in most households.
Someone who meditates at dawn daily won’t love the culture of drinking till sunrise in Goa. They just aren’t that.

People aren’t wrong. They are just different. Simply due to changes in the people we are surrounded by.

While we cannot control whom we are surrounded by unless we make some drastic changes, we can always change whom we are surrounded by online.

Since humans spend a lot of time online, we have the choice to think like the people of the country where becoming an organ donor is mandatory.

We always have a choice.

The silent anger

There’s a wonderful woman I know of, who is living her life for a great social cause. She’s been doing this for the last thirty years, started at the age of seventeen.

She doesn’t get angry.
Always works to uplift people.
Cooks great food for them.
Listens to their problems.
Offers solutions.

All epic. Super-commendable.

But I can often sense hidden anger within her. Because the people she serves don’t live up to her standards.

That’s sad.

Because no one is going to live their lives as we suggest them to be, no matter how much good that suggestion holds.
As a matter of fact, if we force them, they might grow even more resistant.

The key is acceptance. And that is the entire journey all about. Acceptance that we can only guide them and bless them, everyone takes their own sweet time to get to a place of change.

Till then, they need our blessings.

The silent anger causes greater resistance.
And loss of trust.