Just because a toxic person is nice once, doesn’t mean they aren’t toxic anymore.
Some unpopular opinions that are sadly true:
- Even the most intellectual person likes the coolest kids, even if they are dumb.
- We are so addicted to our problems that we actually create them!
- People love to help. If you keep disregarding their love, they don’t become cold blooded. YOU make them cold blooded.
- You don’t crave sugar. You crave the reward of feeling good.
- You speak the most through silence.
One of the things I’m proud of, is I keep giving updates of my work to my boss.
Without him asking.
Because he ought to know of stuff.
Yet, at the same time, he loves not following up.
So I share.
Because it is right.
On the other hand, I followed up with a team member who is running late with her work.
Sure, I am telling you so that “tu aaraam se reh sake”
Is that not your work?
I just wish…
I just wish!
We all have variety of friends.
However, everyone has these common characteristics:
- They make you feel valued
- You don’t have to go beg for attention
- They care about loving you as much as they care about loving themselves, and vice versa
- You have clear communications, even fights
- You feel alive in their company, not left alone.
There is certainly ONE cool kid around you.
The one wearing a high attitude.
The one whose WhatsApp messages everyone responds to.
Here’s the truth about those cool kids:
- They are suffering a lot inside
- So they use that coolness to mask it
- And not treat others well
- And get to feel good about themselves
- And the cycle continues
Here’s what you should bear in mind, whenever you come across these cool kids in whose company you don’t feel welcome:
- Respect your own journey
- Move on
- Bless them
The ones who make others suffer, are the ones who are suffering hugely inside.
There was once a saint who lived up there, in the mountains. To meditate. And think positive thoughts.
In the hut, just opposite to his, used to live a prostitute. Every day, she used to look at the saint and be inspired – as to this is how I should be living my life – filled with positivity, and thinking of God.
Meanwhile, the saint used to look at the prostitute’s house, and think about how she is ruining her life, how her life is terrible, and how he would never want a life like that.
Several years later, they both died.
Up in the clouds, it was decided that the prostitute will go to heaven and the saint will go to hell.
“Why, I was meditating whole day?” rebelled the saint.
Here’s what the administrators up there told them:
It is not what you do, it is what you are thinking about whole day, that makes the difference. While you were busy mocking the prostitute in your mind, she was busy idealising a meditative lifestyle.
It turns out, our thoughts actually run or ruin the world.
Even thebiggest happiness could being about a place of sadness if you happen to compare yourself to others.
Someone else, younger than you, is going to get all the things you have been waiting for.
Does it feel bad! Maybe yes.
Should it feel bad? The answer to this could never be yes.
What’s the solution, then? The solution is to put yourself in more I more situations like these because that only would help you work harder and challenge yourself more often.
Think over it. Someone else won, you lost; and then you created your own plan of confidence a reality.
If you tell people that you need help, they will reach out to you for helping.
However, we need to see to it that we ask 🙂
Do you sometimes feel that your hard work isn’t validated?
Let me tell you a story of the cool kid.
It is easy to be the cool kid.
The cool kid does nothing significant.
The cool kid is just hanging around trying to look cool.
Does things that get attention of everyone.
Anything that escapes hard work and still brings in validation is what the cool kid lives by.
Except, that they themselves know they are hollow.
And that’s sad.
Because every effort of theirs is an attempt to look cooler by covering up that hollowness.
And in a sheer suddenness of move, the cool kid does something that they were supposed to do. When they do this, all of a sudden they become cooler. Because no one had expected them to do this!
Isn’t that a “virtuous” cycle?
Friends, we all come across “the cool kids” in every setup, in every work structure that we are a part of.
But you know what?
I have never seen a cool kid being trusted.
Or being entrusted with responsibilities.
Or even being looked forward to as a professional.
We can play around with colleagues. Because their validation was the first thing the cool kid was after.
However, rising higher is always preceded by hard work. Always.
Love is like a plant, it is supposed to blossom.
In the initial years, it requires a lot of care to grow. If we are careful about that for at least a decade, it will automatically nurture itself later. Then it would become the strong tree, that gives shade and does not require much of nurturing.
But if we don’t nurture it in the start, it does wither. And slowly goes away.
Coming to the question: Does love die? Of course it does. When we don’t nurture the first few years with care and trust, be it in any relationship, nothing is left. If it is a relationship we cannot run away from, such as family, we learn to accept them – but there is hardly any connection. If there is a relationship that we can go away from – a partner, friend, business relationship – the best we could do for them is bless them!
Love, btw, begins with yourself. But that’s for another day.