Does the culture of your company matter?

woman sharing her presentation with her colleagues

Today I saw a dance video of a friend of mine. She apparently was dancing with her college gang. Their energy, sync in moves, facial expressions and body language – revealed more than words ever could.

Here’s what my little knowledge of psychology tells me:

  • The people we surround ourselves with determine who we become.
  • Even they didn’t know that their friends play so important role in their happiness.
  • It is the best thing if we choose our people wisely, and if we don’t that’s a doom on us.

But why are we talking about this?

Because I was a star player in my first job because I was nurtured that way.

In my second job, things changed drastically because:

  • I asked a lot of questions, which made my manager believe I am getting too excited and I don’t know anything.
  • I was always happy and booming with joy, which was also perceived as a sign of dumbness.
  • Most importantly, there was once a trainer who was invited to our office. Those days my manager wasn’t talking to me (yes, that also happened!) because I had taken two days off owing to ill health. My work was in sync, so I attended the one-hour zumba session that the trainer conducted.

And damn, after that session it was a guilty feeling that encircled me. The feeling that I should have sat stuck at my desk because my boss would like it – I just didn’t want to be limited by that feeling so I attended the Zumba session. And more than anything else, it was organized by the HR of the company, and I, inter alia, received a formal email from her for attending the session.

This was just one instance, I could lay at least ten such instances that made me feel small in the organisation. Btw, instead of teaching me how to solve difficult problems, my manager used to ask me: “Will you be able to do it?” This wasn’t because I had proved my inability to him, it was because in our informal conversations he always highlighted how he felt men were more apt to doing this job.)

Was I wrong? Yes, in the desire of joining that organisation, I was wrong. Was I wrong in my stint at that workplace? Well, only if curiosity and cheerfulness are wrong.

In a fortunate tale of events, my leader did not like me and asked me to “look for further opportunities” because I didn’t fit the bill of fitting in.

I did get out of the organisation, and it was the best thing that happened to me.

Now, before we conclude, there were some good things in the organisation:

  • They did provide me bread and butter
  • The operations and sales team were driven to meet the customer needs, always
  • We had a break of one month after working for two months (good as well as not so good as all drive was lost).
  • My manager (yes the one who stopped talking to me) was cool and calm (sadly not driving me to performance.)
  • He said he felt bad about the leader asking me to leave, and it was all in good intent. He treated me like his daughter and perhaps because of which never bothered enough to make me bold enough to face the muddy waters of the job which is of the most importance to perform.

But this post isn’t necessarily about what was good in the organisation that I worked with, and what wasn’t. It was more about the culture. All organisations are the best – if they hire the right people

My friend was dancing along with her friends and they all enjoyed it. I danced with my colleagues and my non-communicative manager felt worse because of this. Of course that guilt slid into me. Of course that did affect me.

That is why it is important to review the company and the culture you are working with.

It is going to be hard, but so is it hard for the company to find the right fit for them. If they could do the emotional labour of being patient and going through the difficult stuff, so is it your responsibility to move the needle and go to the place you would be proud to say in your first page interview.

Forming relationships

Forming relationships is beyond connecting with people from LinkedIn to WhatsApp.

Forming relationships is just being the genuine human being that you are, without ulterior motive of collaborations.

When you do so, just because you want to give, what you’ll receive will come to you manifold.

New friends

New friends.

When you find new friends of course you feel great, you feel like you have arrived home.

Yet at the same time it’s it would be great to remember that those friends help you make you a bigger version of you, a better version of you.

Would be wise to not be like them rather being just the best version of you. Balance of love. Best of both worlds.

Let’s get candid!

Two of my friends, who are in their fifties, were sharing stories about their respective sons, who happen to be in their early twenties.

One friend, who sends money to his son every month, who is studying in the US, told that one day all of a sudden, his son asked for more money this month.

When asked about whether all was good, the son replied that he had a girlfriend and needed some money.

Few weeks later, when this son was back in India with his parents for a vacation, received a text from this girl. She breaks up, saying we are not right for each other. The son replies in assent, and also tells this to his parents.

The other friend, was telling the story of a day when her son had left strawberries at home before leaving for the day. She was quite worried as a mother as to what would the son do if he were hungry during the day.

Later during the day, the son texted a pic of him eating strawberries, that he had asked his girlfriend to bring along. He was calming her down, with the reassurance that he was being taken care of.

Both these instances left me thinking deeply.

To be candid for the first time in public, I was waiting for “him” to send that message to me that we are breaking off, yet never received one. Nor a call back.

That’s not the worst part. Worst part is, I was at home, with my parents, already suffering and unable to share my grief with them.

Because had I shared it with them, they would have either gotten super angry with me for “being in a relationship” or perhaps they would have told me to “forget him”.

Neither of those would’ve helped.

It was so easy for that son to tell his parents that his girlfriend had broken up. I wish it were equally easy for all of us, we would have had way lesser cases of depression and anxiety.

Love and acceptance is the only solution. Especially when they least deserve it.

Hang around

Weekend is just round the corner.

Time to hang around.

With the same people, for the same results.

With the people you should be hanging around with (maybe in their books as well), for the results you know you should be getting.

Weekend is just round the corner, hang around peops!!! ✌🏻😎

Is your life a waste?

A lot of people will ask this question from you.

And make you believe so.

If you could do one thing to yourself, just spend time with people whose lives you adore, and not who make you hate yourself.

You matter. People you say your life is a waste, usually don’t think any better for themselves.

Not just one instance…

There was not just one instance that drew me away from you.

I was there happily and honesty for you, even after you were rude to me once. And that turned into twice. And thrice. And ten times.

On the tenth time, I really understood that maybe my permanence in your life is not something you really value that much.

So I decided to remove my permanence from your life.

Not to teach you a lesson, I didn’t have that right anymore, had to cede that right without me being aware of it.

I removed myself because I was not able to respect myself every time I looked at the way you took me for granted.

So instead of begging at your door for the eleventh time, I knocked my own door for the first time.

And wow!!! My heart opened space for me to blossom, like it had been signaling me for years.

Thank you, you, for removing my permanence from your life. Thank you.