Random life lessons

Haven’t done a life lessons blog in quite some time, so here you go:

  1. You cannot enforce love. Not for people, not for work.
  2. Stay away from having calls during the afternoons. Sleep, baby!
  3. Stretching is as important as (if not more important than) working out.
  4. Sirsasana and sarvangasana are lit.
  5. Ghee khichdi with papad is the ultimate tummy-filler.
  6. Life becomes joyful when you are grateful.
  7. It takes years to get to a place of doing it in seconds.

There’s nothing wrong with Instagram!

Today I attended a wonderful master class by Nir Eyal, author of the book Indistractable.

Some wonderful things he said:

1. Schedule everything – learning, work, leisure, family time, sleeping time, free time social media and even OTG!

2. To-Do lists should be done away with, because no one accomplishes all of those daily.

3. Instead, do whatever you had desired to accomplish during that time. That is powerful! You’ll then end up achieving MORE than your To-Do list.

4. Life is NOT about getting things done. Rather spend 30-45 minutes daily, thinking.

5. And last resort, make an identity pact: Is what you are doing aligned with who you are?

Very very thoughtful! This master class is definitely going to be a masterpiece.

Everything but mindset

A friend I know, has been working on YouTube channel of a celebrity. They are a team of four people managing different tasks.

Looking at all of this, an agency approaches them and hires them.

And now the plot twist begins.

The guy who is the main speaker of the videos tries to copy everything of that celebrity.
The way he speaks.
The colours of his clothing.
Video lengths
And of course, the team 🙂

Except just one thing: This celebrity’s mindset. The celebrity’s humility. The celebrity’s wisdom to let people do their own thing instead of dominating them.

So he does all these things the opposite.
Just like all people who want to copy but not emulate.

We all draw our external imageries from people around us. Nothing wrong with it.

However, if we do not work around creating our right vibe and mindset, and just refuse to change, no celebrity would ever be able to help us.

Growth is a personal responsibility. Not something you can pay others and expect to happen with the same old angry and resistant methods.

How transformation feels like

We don’t go from eating junk to eating healthy.
We go from finding solace in food to finding solace in inner powers.

We don’t transform from an angry teenager to a calm one easily.
We go from using energy on others to using it on our own senses.

We don’t go from being fat to think.
We go to changing the stories in our head.

We don’t become a morning person one day all of a sudden.
We become one when we die in the morning despite working whole night.

It turns out, transformation does not mean having a change.
Transformation means using the old habit to become a new one.

Use the bad to become the good.

Organ donation and our levels as humans

There’s a country where citizens become organ donors by default on attaining a certain age. It’s a law. They can choose to opt out if they want to, however, they will be in the last priority for consideration as organ recipients.

However, this is not possible in developing countries where there are fights on basic things like bank accounts or food and shelter.

There is nothing wrong or right. It is just the culture that pushes people to think certain way. It’s the reason why desis act like firangs in the countries of firangs. The culture gets it done from them.

This pretty much explains why we do what we do, and why is it impossible to change people without their prior choice or change of culture.

Someone who grew up in corporate culture does not know the nuances of starting up at all. Perhaps an eighteen year old knows more.
Someone who grew up in an Omkara apartment in Worli Mumbai won’t ever understand the nitty-gritties of arranging the basic things in most households.
Someone who meditates at dawn daily won’t love the culture of drinking till sunrise in Goa. They just aren’t that.

People aren’t wrong. They are just different. Simply due to changes in the people we are surrounded by.

While we cannot control whom we are surrounded by unless we make some drastic changes, we can always change whom we are surrounded by online.

Since humans spend a lot of time online, we have the choice to think like the people of the country where becoming an organ donor is mandatory.

We always have a choice.

Easiest way to beat distraction

Do you often see yourself huddling with waste thoughts?

You decided to stay focused, and five minutes later you are scrolling endlessly?

Happens with you?

We would have read hundreds of texts and literature on how to change that, and of all those, one has been the most effective: To always keep listening to motivational audios or read such books. I personally have started doing it morning and evening, and the results have been way better.

Now stretching it to four hours a day while working on mundane activities.

Not because it will give me motivation to act, rather because we are accustomed to act in a manner consistent with what we hear and whom we spend time with. Since what we hear and whom we spend time with isn’t something wonderful in today’s world, why not start with doing it on purpose?

Any habit that we form on purpose is what we reap benefits of without waiting for. Always.

Are you still “fat”?

As a kid, a neighbourhood uncle used to call me “moti”, which is a Hindi translation for “fat girl”.

Not that I was fat, rather because as I introspect now, that was merely a reflection of his un-developed brain’s immunopsychological response to bringing people down.

People do it all the time:

You don’t appear happy, while in reality, they aren’t.
I can’t love you, because being devoid of love was how I was raised, and changing myself is a mammoth task.
I won’t update my LinkedIn profile and network with people, because struggling to find a job is how I finally get a job, and that struggle keeps me safe.

The blankets we throw at others are virtually the ones we are covering ourselves with.

Which brings me to this neighbourhood Uncle.
So when he used to address me “Moti” as a kid, I used to retaliate. Get angry. Cry. Scream. Literally beg not to call me moti.

Today morning, while returning from my meditation class, that Uncle saw me again. And he called me “moti” thrice. And I moved on, without responding.

Sometimes, what we were years back, we don’t drift from there even a bit.
I’m glad I wasn’t that today morning.
I feel for him that he hasn’t grown a bit in years.

So, my question to you is: “Are you still fat,” where “fat” means the thickness of the brain that makes it almost impossible for new knowledge to percolate?

Or have you lost that weight and become lean, where you allow the new muscles to form and happily let go of the stagnant ones?

If this happens, that will definitely happen

If you really work hard and get better, you will get where you want to.

If you keep forgiving people, you will get lighter.

If you keep eating a bit lesser, soon you will get to your desired destination.

If you keep persisting when you are supposed to give up, you will get great rewards instantly over a period of time.

If you be there for yourself, you will be able to be there for others as well. Not vice versa.

It turns out, we already know all the answers. We just need to decide, as Seth Godin says.

No one will walk the journey for you

You have your loved ones with you.
They are supporting you in your journey.
Accepting you for what you are doing.
Loving you unconditionally.
And that’s beautiful!

However, there needs to be an additional element: Of accepting and appreciating yourself.

Too often when we are in the hustle and grind, we forget to be appreciative to the one person who needs it the most: Ourselves.

And that causes a deep lack that no one could ever be fulfilled.

It’s as important a habit as brushing your teeth. When you are self aware, working on what’s not working, appreciating yourself holds equivalent if not greater importance.

Right now. Starting today.

Will you?