How transformation feels like

We don’t go from eating junk to eating healthy.
We go from finding solace in food to finding solace in inner powers.

We don’t transform from an angry teenager to a calm one easily.
We go from using energy on others to using it on our own senses.

We don’t go from being fat to think.
We go to changing the stories in our head.

We don’t become a morning person one day all of a sudden.
We become one when we die in the morning despite working whole night.

It turns out, transformation does not mean having a change.
Transformation means using the old habit to become a new one.

Use the bad to become the good.

Organ donation and our levels as humans

There’s a country where citizens become organ donors by default on attaining a certain age. It’s a law. They can choose to opt out if they want to, however, they will be in the last priority for consideration as organ recipients.

However, this is not possible in developing countries where there are fights on basic things like bank accounts or food and shelter.

There is nothing wrong or right. It is just the culture that pushes people to think certain way. It’s the reason why desis act like firangs in the countries of firangs. The culture gets it done from them.

This pretty much explains why we do what we do, and why is it impossible to change people without their prior choice or change of culture.

Someone who grew up in corporate culture does not know the nuances of starting up at all. Perhaps an eighteen year old knows more.
Someone who grew up in an Omkara apartment in Worli Mumbai won’t ever understand the nitty-gritties of arranging the basic things in most households.
Someone who meditates at dawn daily won’t love the culture of drinking till sunrise in Goa. They just aren’t that.

People aren’t wrong. They are just different. Simply due to changes in the people we are surrounded by.

While we cannot control whom we are surrounded by unless we make some drastic changes, we can always change whom we are surrounded by online.

Since humans spend a lot of time online, we have the choice to think like the people of the country where becoming an organ donor is mandatory.

We always have a choice.

Easiest way to beat distraction

Do you often see yourself huddling with waste thoughts?

You decided to stay focused, and five minutes later you are scrolling endlessly?

Happens with you?

We would have read hundreds of texts and literature on how to change that, and of all those, one has been the most effective: To always keep listening to motivational audios or read such books. I personally have started doing it morning and evening, and the results have been way better.

Now stretching it to four hours a day while working on mundane activities.

Not because it will give me motivation to act, rather because we are accustomed to act in a manner consistent with what we hear and whom we spend time with. Since what we hear and whom we spend time with isn’t something wonderful in today’s world, why not start with doing it on purpose?

Any habit that we form on purpose is what we reap benefits of without waiting for. Always.

Are you still “fat”?

As a kid, a neighbourhood uncle used to call me “moti”, which is a Hindi translation for “fat girl”.

Not that I was fat, rather because as I introspect now, that was merely a reflection of his un-developed brain’s immunopsychological response to bringing people down.

People do it all the time:

You don’t appear happy, while in reality, they aren’t.
I can’t love you, because being devoid of love was how I was raised, and changing myself is a mammoth task.
I won’t update my LinkedIn profile and network with people, because struggling to find a job is how I finally get a job, and that struggle keeps me safe.

The blankets we throw at others are virtually the ones we are covering ourselves with.

Which brings me to this neighbourhood Uncle.
So when he used to address me “Moti” as a kid, I used to retaliate. Get angry. Cry. Scream. Literally beg not to call me moti.

Today morning, while returning from my meditation class, that Uncle saw me again. And he called me “moti” thrice. And I moved on, without responding.

Sometimes, what we were years back, we don’t drift from there even a bit.
I’m glad I wasn’t that today morning.
I feel for him that he hasn’t grown a bit in years.

So, my question to you is: “Are you still fat,” where “fat” means the thickness of the brain that makes it almost impossible for new knowledge to percolate?

Or have you lost that weight and become lean, where you allow the new muscles to form and happily let go of the stagnant ones?

If this happens, that will definitely happen

If you really work hard and get better, you will get where you want to.

If you keep forgiving people, you will get lighter.

If you keep eating a bit lesser, soon you will get to your desired destination.

If you keep persisting when you are supposed to give up, you will get great rewards instantly over a period of time.

If you be there for yourself, you will be able to be there for others as well. Not vice versa.

It turns out, we already know all the answers. We just need to decide, as Seth Godin says.

No one will walk the journey for you

You have your loved ones with you.
They are supporting you in your journey.
Accepting you for what you are doing.
Loving you unconditionally.
And that’s beautiful!

However, there needs to be an additional element: Of accepting and appreciating yourself.

Too often when we are in the hustle and grind, we forget to be appreciative to the one person who needs it the most: Ourselves.

And that causes a deep lack that no one could ever be fulfilled.

It’s as important a habit as brushing your teeth. When you are self aware, working on what’s not working, appreciating yourself holds equivalent if not greater importance.

Right now. Starting today.

Will you?

Money is an effort

For weeks I was struggling with making a new habit. I wanted to set a traffic control of my thoughts, and take one-minute breaks after each hour.

Tried downloading a few apps, none of which functioned.

So I set the alarm in my phone after every hour.

“What’s new with this?” you may ask!

I wanted the sound to be the one I loved and not the usual alarm stuff. However, iPhone doesn’t allow the desi jugad to add external sounds.

So I purchased a sound from the iTunes store and set that as an alarm.

Result? Those one-minute alarms are working wonders!

Here’s the psychological hack: Even though I spent a minuscule amount of Rs. 15 for a tailor-made service, it would make me use it to the fullest.

The magic is not of the amount of money, rather the effort of paying it will make me use it fully. Daily. Every hour.

Too serious?

Is it okay to take yourself seriously?

Or should you be happy and easy-going?

The answer is: you should take yourself seriously and be easy going in the process.

Take your mindset seriously, and be easy going towards the first time mistakes (second timers are the ones you didn’t learn from).

Take your efforts seriously, and easy going towards someone else’s.

You always know when is it the time to be disciplined and when to chill. You just need to decide – which will come from practising serious discipline as well as easy going discipline.