1. Do more than you are expected to.
2. Speak less than you are expected to.
3. Work out each time you are expected to.
Tag: right
Signs that you are growing
1. The things that used to upset you do that anymore. Not even in your mind.
2. You learn from the times you lost money and don’t make the same money mistakes again.
3. You don’t lay the same expectations on people, if they have willingly proved they don’t want to stay true to the relationship (even blood relationships).
4. You find a way to laugh even amidst chaos.
5. You have replaced anger for people with empathy and sometimes even sympathy.
Growing up necessarily doesn’t mean in age. You may be in your 70’s and never learnt to control your anger.
Growth is a choice. The one that we make every single day.
In the absence of which, we just die.
Warm milk vs cold milk
Have you tried drinking plain cold milk? Without sugar or chocolate?
If yes, you know it has a calming effect.
Alternatively, if we drink warm milk without sugar, it is kind of weird. We need to add sugar to make it a bit better.
That is how life is. When we are chilled out, we are sweet naturally. When we are hot or angry, we have to make efforts to get sweetness.
We decide, which milk to be.
I almost forgot…
I almost forgot to write today’s blog post.
And now, while sleeping, reminded of that.
So, what is it about today?
Hmm, I’m thinking of charging for consulting as well over the call. Okay, the client is going to pay me beautifully when the work starts, however why do I behave like a fool and offer 2.5 hours of free consulting?
Nishtha, grow up!
No one will value you if you don’t do that to yourself.
That said, the last leg of brainstorming with the client is left, will seek guidance from God in meditation early morning tomorrow, if it is right to charge or be modest if the contract is already yours.
Chalo, good night peops!
If this happens, that will definitely happen
If you really work hard and get better, you will get where you want to.
If you keep forgiving people, you will get lighter.
If you keep eating a bit lesser, soon you will get to your desired destination.
If you keep persisting when you are supposed to give up, you will get great rewards instantly over a period of time.
If you be there for yourself, you will be able to be there for others as well. Not vice versa.
It turns out, we already know all the answers. We just need to decide, as Seth Godin says.
When will things go right?
Nothing will go right in our lives unless,
a. We start appreciating what we have right now.
b. We understand that our positivity has the power to change people.
c. We believe that when people show us who they are, we need to believe them as Maya Angelou said.
When you don’t like someone…
When you don’t like someone, going about not liking them forever is a tough job.
What if you asked yourself instead: “Why do I not like them?”
It may be possible that their values aren’t aligned with yours.
It may also be possible that they just don’t know better.
And when you make time to think deep with yourself, you’ll be able to make an informed choice, not the one that is out of rage and impulse.
You get the life basis the people you allow. The first person to allow is you, not the byproduct of someone else’s actions.
Does the culture of your company matter?
Today I saw a dance video of a friend of mine. She apparently was dancing with her college gang. Their energy, sync in moves, facial expressions and body language – revealed more than words ever could.
Here’s what my little knowledge of psychology tells me:
- The people we surround ourselves with determine who we become.
- Even they didn’t know that their friends play so important role in their happiness.
- It is the best thing if we choose our people wisely, and if we don’t that’s a doom on us.
But why are we talking about this?
Because I was a star player in my first job because I was nurtured that way.
In my second job, things changed drastically because:
- I asked a lot of questions, which made my manager believe I am getting too excited and I don’t know anything.
- I was always happy and booming with joy, which was also perceived as a sign of dumbness.
- Most importantly, there was once a trainer who was invited to our office. Those days my manager wasn’t talking to me (yes, that also happened!) because I had taken two days off owing to ill health. My work was in sync, so I attended the one-hour zumba session that the trainer conducted.
And damn, after that session it was a guilty feeling that encircled me. The feeling that I should have sat stuck at my desk because my boss would like it – I just didn’t want to be limited by that feeling so I attended the Zumba session. And more than anything else, it was organized by the HR of the company, and I, inter alia, received a formal email from her for attending the session.
This was just one instance, I could lay at least ten such instances that made me feel small in the organisation. Btw, instead of teaching me how to solve difficult problems, my manager used to ask me: “Will you be able to do it?” This wasn’t because I had proved my inability to him, it was because in our informal conversations he always highlighted how he felt men were more apt to doing this job.)
Was I wrong? Yes, in the desire of joining that organisation, I was wrong. Was I wrong in my stint at that workplace? Well, only if curiosity and cheerfulness are wrong.
In a fortunate tale of events, my leader did not like me and asked me to “look for further opportunities” because I didn’t fit the bill of fitting in.
I did get out of the organisation, and it was the best thing that happened to me.
Now, before we conclude, there were some good things in the organisation:
- They did provide me bread and butter
- The operations and sales team were driven to meet the customer needs, always
- We had a break of one month after working for two months (good as well as not so good as all drive was lost).
- My manager (yes the one who stopped talking to me) was cool and calm (sadly not driving me to performance.)
- He said he felt bad about the leader asking me to leave, and it was all in good intent. He treated me like his daughter and perhaps because of which never bothered enough to make me bold enough to face the muddy waters of the job which is of the most importance to perform.
But this post isn’t necessarily about what was good in the organisation that I worked with, and what wasn’t. It was more about the culture. All organisations are the best – if they hire the right people
My friend was dancing along with her friends and they all enjoyed it. I danced with my colleagues and my non-communicative manager felt worse because of this. Of course that guilt slid into me. Of course that did affect me.
That is why it is important to review the company and the culture you are working with.
It is going to be hard, but so is it hard for the company to find the right fit for them. If they could do the emotional labour of being patient and going through the difficult stuff, so is it your responsibility to move the needle and go to the place you would be proud to say in your first page interview.
Why do we reflect?
You reflected on something that you wanted to change.
And you decided to change.
The question is: Till when?
Not only for one day or two. What are you doing to make change stick?
Before forming one more new habit and failing at all of them and calling yourself a failure, create a plan for sticking to just one habit.
And then the next. Drop by drop. Dip by dip.
What’s your weight?
This lockdown came along with gyms locked down.
Till March, I had reached a great weight resistance. Then began the workout at home.
Today I brought in weights from my old home, and lo, the resistance which I could carry initially wasn’t there. The reason, obviously, was lack of practice with weights.
In life, the more we continue to live with goodness, the more resilience we develop against what’s isn’t right – without losing on who we are.
If we remain where we are without increasing that quota of goodness, over time, we’ll lose it.
Over time, we will lose ourselves.