Why do we reflect?

You reflected on something that you wanted to change.

And you decided to change.

The question is: Till when?

Not only for one day or two. What are you doing to make change stick?

Before forming one more new habit and failing at all of them and calling yourself a failure, create a plan for sticking to just one habit.

And then the next. Drop by drop. Dip by dip.

How was the day today?

This question is holding far more importance these days than anything else.

Well, yesterday I ended up the day my way. So slept well, and woke up really well.

And will do that daily.

It is just a formula. If you don’t apply it, you lose it. Every moment of life, you are just fighting a silent fight to keep your positivity alive. Today I did. Tomorrow, a little better. And a little more.

We shall overcome. We will overcome.

When did it actually happen?

When did it actually happen?

When did I move from giving love to needing it?

When did I move from giving tonnes of acceptance to needing it?

When did I move from cheerful, super happy and full of charm kid to crying whole day?

Never have I ever waited like this. Waiting for this time to go away. Don’t know when. I have written positivity and power for eternity. Then why so much truth? Why am I documenting my rock bottom? Why?

I have no idea. Other than the fact that I want it all out of my system.

And also one more reason: The ones suffering from mental health problems are already strong. They have to muster the strength to get back up. So don’t think they need any help. They spread awareness on it so that more people could become empathetic towards each other and more cases of depression stop from coming. That is the only reason.

Forming relationships

Forming relationships is beyond connecting with people from LinkedIn to WhatsApp.

Forming relationships is just being the genuine human being that you are, without ulterior motive of collaborations.

When you do so, just because you want to give, what you’ll receive will come to you manifold.

If you’re feeling negative

If you’re feeling negative because of someone, there are two options:

You can talk to them. Or you can’t.

If you have the relationship to talk to them, please do. It will clear all the mist.

If that relationship is not where you can talk, does it make sense to lose your sleep over? Perhaps the person needed to be talked to, is you.

Is your education worth it?

Back in my school days, rather for the entire time of my formal education, I was a top scoring student.

  • How many of real world skills are dependent on the numbers you got?
  • Yes, your marks gave you a kick-start at the beginning of your career, however, did they decide your entire future? Never.
  • We all have countless examples of back-benchers who went out to do amazing things in life, then why do we still place so much importance on formal education?

About being undefeated

When you know who you are, you will always be undefeated.

When you know each of your thoughts have a spiral effect, you will always be undefeated.

When you know everything you want is waiting for you, you just need to be the recipient to receive it, you shall be undefeated.

We create a heaven and a hell in ourselves. Not because of what we do, rather because of what we allow ourselves to think about.

Think about.

Think about it.

Is nepotism real?

We have witnessed real life examples of nepotism…at least for Bollywood.

While I reality, nepotism exists everywhere.

You may do all the good work however the boss has someone else as their favourite.

So be it even if you go volunteer for a good cause.

We all are lying on different spectrums of that.

The goal, then, is not to cringe about it.

The goal is to decide what you’re going to do despite it.

Helping and Asking for help

Part I: Giving Help

If you want to help someone else, make sure you’ve helped yourself.

If you think you are still doing them a favour, you are not.

People love to know they’re loved, only if they could feel you loving yourself.

Part II: Asking for Help

If you are asking for someone else’s help out of their obligation to do it for you and out of their inability to not do it willingly, probably you need to rethink your choices.

Conclusion:

The only way to have everything aligned on the outside is to align yourself from within. Nothing changes before that.

29 lessons of 29 years

Today I turned 29.

Damn! The number is so big! Yet why do I feel so young?

Or in other words, how did I get so lucky to be feeling so amazing while the world is conditioned to making us think that we should start with “settling”?

The answer is that I got insanely lucky to make some wonderful decisions. To choose to get out of company of people like whom I didn’t want to become, and to choose the company of rebels, oddballs and misfits — with a strange combination of my core values guard me daily.

However, the last one year had been a strange (and a blessed) one, with loads of mistakes and loads of learning coming along — which I have made an effort to summarize in 29 points below:

  1. The best way to get what you want is to be in the company of people who are doing what you want to do. (If not in person, definitely in their social media accounts and books.)
    PS: It’s okay to not have a 5-year plan. To have a 3 or 6-month plan is equally fine. (“Do you know what kind of plan never fails? No plan at all!” — Parasite, 2019)
  2. One of the best arts you will learn is the art of mastering cold emails. Sometimes not even with the purpose of cracking a sale, rather just to form a connection. (Why? See point 1)
  3. I used to eat cheese between my breakfast and lunch as a mid-meal; however a friend copied that habit to eat it as a dessert after dinner! Incorrect timing is the shortcut to failing.
  4. The world really needs to catch up. Being positioned in a warehouse for work, I realized there was no washroom for women, let alone a dustbin to dispose sanitary napkin. No changes have been made there even after writing it to management. The only question we need to ask is: “Would we still be the same if our sister / daughter were projected to same situations?”
  5. Your relationship with others is a direct reflection of your relationship with yourself. The best way to love others is to love yourself.
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Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

6. Kindness is superpower. Especially when it’s difficult to display it.

7. Gossiping will do more harm than goodness could do peace.

8. Working out with a personal trainer is game changing — in terms of your discipline, diet, follow-up, and of course how you look and feel within.

9. If you decide to walk at least 10,000 steps a day, you will!

10. Meditation is not a trick only for monks in the Himalayas. It is rather the only vaccination against depression.

11. A small hack for those on diet and travelling: Plain rice with curd and papad is a perfect meal. Saves from oily food of restaurants and provides all micro and macro nutrients.

12. In my former job, we went from our respective cities to the HO. In an evening, we went for a get-together to a Chinese restaurant; however I do not consume onion and garlic. So, we finally went to an Indian restaurant where I ordered khichdi, while others continued with having other oily food. Lesson: it’s okay to stand by your dharma in a matter of crisis. The only thing you will get is immense support.

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Photo by Derick McKinney on Unsplash

13. When you’re misunderstood, you need to humbly stand for yourself.

14. Law of attraction works like magic. With a caveat — only if you’ve done the hard work. If I have never jumped into a pool and I wish to win a gold medal in Olympics next month, the only thing I deserve is a headache.

15. Not judging your family is the biggest gift to them. They are fighting a tough battle which we aren’t aware of.

16. Sleeping and waking up on time (and no screen time for 1 hour prior and after) will solve almost all your problems.

17. You’re becoming successful when outer success is coupled with smaller and lesser need to seek validation from others.

18. The intuition you have about people is stronger (and always truthful) than the image they’re trying to project. To rephrase, “Empathy cannot be taught. You’re either born with it or you aren’t.” — Ankur Warikoo

19. Like almost all other families, mine is also a dysfunctional one. Yet, their presence is the biggest therapy.

20. It’s okay to have a few or no friends than to have many who laugh at your progress.

21. I live a healthy lifestyle however I was hospitalized twice in last two years. Lying on that hospital bed, I realized this is simply my life shouting out loud to make a change.

22. Patience majnu, patience!

23. Consistent content creation will make you survive when everything else won’t. Even when you’re applying for a position with no qualification, experience of your content will take you to places.

24. Taking time to witness the sunrise is the best way to protect your (in)sanity.

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Photo by Rachel Cook on Unsplash

25. In the last year I have been denied chances and been (almost) cursed by people who used to “treat me as their daughter” just because I followed an unconventional path being a female. However, I have also got respect and great work because of the same reason. External or internal validation. We get to choose either every single day.

26. No. No. Absolutely no. With kindness, bro!

27. People do what they know is the best. In 90% cases they aren’t intentional about it.

28. The world inside you needs to get out — through writing, creating videos, making drawings, dancing, singing — anything! It will keep you sane and the world will silently learn from your example.

29. The journey of going within will always settle things on the outside. Always.

That’s it, folks! 29 years, 29 lessons, loads of love from family — such an amazing time to be alive in!

Even if a single word made sense to you, I’ve done my job well! We are, after all, the stories we tell ourselves. Keep rocking folks, and I’ll see you tomorrow!