Tag: forgiveness

Life

Chemical reactions in the body

The body – how it responds to chemical reactions is very very weird.

A few days back I mentioned how I bingewatched Dill Mill Gayye on a weekend.
The TV show, in many ways, was an inspiration for the people of my generation.
The cute people, the pure love, the sparks flying at workplace – everything.

Until I spent some time alone for so many years, getting to know the reality.

This morning I was reminded of one instance from the show – where the male protagonist goes on with a friend and feigns as her husband in front of her family, so that her family members stop pressing her for marriage. He does all this without informing the female protagonist, with whom he is deeply in love with.

Today, just by remembering that instance, I was sent into a state of feeling like crying, as to how this could happen.

Of course, a lot of this relates to the past mistakes I made.

Which brings me to the question – do we really forgive people or does our body remember everything?

If the body remembers it, it is up to the mind to practice focussed forgiveness – for a long, long period of time. Even when it is not asked for. Not for the other person. So that we go beyond our limitations that didn’t even exist.

Don’t we owe this to ourselves?

Emotions

A weird dream I remember

This morning I had slept again after meditating.

In that sleep, I witnessed two dreams in one. The weird part is, for the first time I remember such a weird dream.

One was from the first guy I (perhaps) loved. I received WhatsApp messages from him dropping me three locations where I would have to “meet” him later during the day. Of course I ignored those messages.

Later when I reflected, it dawned to me that this was the essence of our so-called love: “Meeting” as per his convenience and then becoming absolute strangers.

Another one was from a school friend. In fact, we were never friends in school. Very late, almost 2-3 years ago we connected on Facebook and became sort-of friends. But then he vanished all of a sudden. I was never told why or how, nor was any conversation brought in. He tried bringing his “forwarded messages” into my inbox quite recently but now I was unsure.

It was just friendship from my end. And his as well. But somewhere I always felt he needed something from me. Can’t point out exactly. But there was something. In the dream as well, he took my iPhone from me for making a call and as I moved around a bit, he had already lent my phone to a careless friend of his, who was just playing around with it. It was in a moment of luck that I saw his friend and got my phone back.

That’s it! These were the two dreams. I don’t know what they mean. Except that I do. Here’s what they mean:

  1. I still haven’t forgiven them. As a matter of fact, I didn’t think about either of them for a long long time, yet the subconscious knows everything. Sometimes, to move on, you have the grant the apology even when no one asks for it.
  2. If I still believe in these “shoddy definitions of love”, how will I ever be able to witness the true love that IS me?

That was it! Weird dreams that I weirdly remembered. Perhaps so that I could finally forget them!