If you tell people that you need help, they will reach out to you for helping.
However, we need to see to it that we ask 🙂
Category: People
It pays to NOT be the cool kid
Do you sometimes feel that your hard work isn’t validated?
Let me tell you a story of the cool kid.
It is easy to be the cool kid.
The cool kid does nothing significant.
The cool kid is just hanging around trying to look cool.
Does things that get attention of everyone.
Anything that escapes hard work and still brings in validation is what the cool kid lives by.
Except, that they themselves know they are hollow.
And that’s sad.
Because every effort of theirs is an attempt to look cooler by covering up that hollowness.
And in a sheer suddenness of move, the cool kid does something that they were supposed to do. When they do this, all of a sudden they become cooler. Because no one had expected them to do this!
Isn’t that a “virtuous” cycle?
Friends, we all come across “the cool kids” in every setup, in every work structure that we are a part of.
But you know what?
I have never seen a cool kid being trusted.
Or being entrusted with responsibilities.
Or even being looked forward to as a professional.
We can play around with colleagues. Because their validation was the first thing the cool kid was after.
However, rising higher is always preceded by hard work. Always.
Does love die?
Love is like a plant, it is supposed to blossom.
In the initial years, it requires a lot of care to grow. If we are careful about that for at least a decade, it will automatically nurture itself later. Then it would become the strong tree, that gives shade and does not require much of nurturing.
But if we don’t nurture it in the start, it does wither. And slowly goes away.
Coming to the question: Does love die? Of course it does. When we don’t nurture the first few years with care and trust, be it in any relationship, nothing is left. If it is a relationship we cannot run away from, such as family, we learn to accept them – but there is hardly any connection. If there is a relationship that we can go away from – a partner, friend, business relationship – the best we could do for them is bless them!
Love, btw, begins with yourself. But that’s for another day.
Ladies, we could do better!
One of my closest friend in school brought up this topic once. We were just seated in our bus after school, and were waiting for everyone else to come.
“Nishtha,” she said, “you know what, I am ashamed to admit it, however it’s true a woman is another woman’s biggest enemy.”
Years later, her words are making me reflect deeply these days.
We talk about gender inequality, equal rights for women at home, sharing of responsibilities at home, etc., and yes men do need to wake and shake themselves up, however a lot of women don’t feel they deserve the good that men are entitled to.
So, if you are someone (man or a woman) who believes in equality, start with not saying these five things to any woman you respect or would want to be respected.
It’ll make the world better for your daughters and sisters.
Ooo, that was rude!
Someone said something mean to you. Someone dear to you.
A friend asked you to work for free for them, something for which you charge in six figures.
You did your 150% in a job and still your manager found flaws in your work.
All these things seem mean. And they are, undoubtedly.
The one on the other side has taken an extreme position without thinking of what you are going through or what efforts you would have put in.
They shouldn’t have done this. I understand.
However, the reality of life is that people will continue doing things or saying things that are mean or not tilted in our favour. That has been happening since eternity and will continue happening.
Will you allow yourself to be hurt every single time?
Will you allow them to take your mental space every single time?
Will you never show compassion towards yourself like you show towards others?
My friend, you are so powerful that you can bless even those who not only say mean things, rather are conspiring against you. Just don’t allow that trash to be accumulated in your mind and see the difference!
It will take hard work. It will require patience. It will ask you to be the best of yourself.
But being the worst version of yourself by getting affected wasn’t the best way to live your life either! Isn’t it?
My early morning hunt for blog posts :)
Remember how I wrote about a neighbourhood Uncle a few days back, and how he used to address me Moti?
Well, today morning we bumped into each other again, and what followed was magical! (Okay, not magical, yet surprising :D)
- He didn’t address me like that
- Which indeed made me talk to him for a while
- And then he started his usual Uncle kinda talks to say: “When are you going back to Delhi (I would’ve told you if I knew the answer), “Do you have a vacancy for CA in Delhi (There are hazaar vacancies, however, this is not how life works bro); and my nephew in Ahmedabad is looking for a job (Will he really listen to a female helping him to search a job? – I’d love to help, if he is willing to be helped :D)
Chalo, the essence of this post was that now both that Uncle and me are away from our “addressing” me blatantly issues to the usual ones 🙂
Aal is well!
Ten things never to say to women
Ten things we should never say to women:
- How much money do you make?
- Here, take my credit card.
- What will you gain by learning sports?
- When are you planning to get married, all good guys will run out…
- Get a facial regularly to look beautiful (lolll, wasn’t beauty an inner function)
- Instead of (current) career, try this. It will help you settle down.
- If you can make time to go to the gym daily, why can’t you do household chores?
- You should try taking a class in Bollywood dance.
- You should quit what you are doing right now, because you’ve failed once.
- You cook really well, your husband will be a lucky man…
- (Bonus): I will drive the car.
And the NO-NO of all, speaking in a loud, dominating voice.
It breaks my heart to see that a LOT of educated, well-respected in corporate lives men do a lot of these. They won’t be able to control the women who want to live on their own terms, however, only end up losing their own respect.
Lesson: Chill, bro! Use the big thing in your skull called the brain.
Are they really sorted?
There is someone in my circle who comes across as a very sorted, chilled out person.
They are least affected by all the hype happening at work or in someone else’s life, don’t respond to extreme events, and enjoy their work the most.
Very recently, someone in the group asked them what was the biggest personal lesson of 2020.
You’ll be stunned at the response!
“I realize I am the biggest source of stress in my life.” They went on to say that in the nine months of Covid alone, they had developed more grey hair than all the past years combined together.
It made me think. I always used to think of her as a chilled out, I-don’t-give-a-damn kind of person. Maybe they are that. However, just because someone doesn’t show it, that doesn’t mean they aren’t carrying a heavy load.
For some people, the very nature of not showing is their way of dealing with their load.
Aceeptance, not judgement, opens the doors of empathy from us to them, instead of we pigeonholing them as ruthless.
Each human is suffering, and the best way to save them is acknowledge it first, instead of judging them
Negative life lessons for a positive life
Negative things about getting a positive life
1. Honesty is an expensive gift. Don’t expect it from cheap people.
– Warren Buffet
2. When people show you who they are, believe them.
– Maya Angelou
3. The best way to deal with corporate politics is to live by and speak your truth. It will make you undefeatable.
4. People will play games against you. Worry not, for they not know against whom are they playing the real game.
5. Don’t trust your extremely good or bad moods. What happens in the middle – your intuitions, people’s behaviours, what you want to do – that is the real stuff.
Some small reflections about life, that were sadly not as positive, however, very important to inch towards positivity and not being affected by the negativity of others.
The dark side
Everyone has a dark side.
I am good to you, but maybe I am not the same way to everyone, where I should be.
Someone is a good boss, but he fires one of his employees after every half a year.
A human being talks about culture, yet fails to maintain it for themselves.
What should we do when do have a dark side?
Here’s what: Think about challenging your beliefs in solitude. It would be hard, but then you would not be hard on others.