Tag: respect

People, Self Love

Ladies, we could do better!

One of my closest friend in school brought up this topic once. We were just seated in our bus after school, and were waiting for everyone else to come.

“Nishtha,” she said, “you know what, I am ashamed to admit it, however it’s true a woman is another woman’s biggest enemy.”

Years later, her words are making me reflect deeply these days.

We talk about gender inequality, equal rights for women at home, sharing of responsibilities at home, etc., and yes men do need to wake and shake themselves up, however a lot of women don’t feel they deserve the good that men are entitled to.

So, if you are someone (man or a woman) who believes in equality, start with not saying these five things to any woman you respect or would want to be respected.

It’ll make the world better for your daughters and sisters.

People

How to gain respect of others

1. By saving their time.

2. By accepting them where they are, and not judging them (even in our mind.)

3. By showing up when you commit to do so.

4. By respecting them for their life choices, even if they are not aligned with what they do or have done.

5. By giving up the need to be respected.

Knowing Yourself

The true measure of your bigness

We become big

on the day

we refuse to feel small

on small acts of people

who don’t know

they are acting small.

They perhaps know this much only.

And thus, are acting this way.

But if you become like them

in the process of teaching them a lesson,

you have lost the biggest lesson of your own life:

“To not to be like the ones who try to pull you down.”

Because in reality, they aren’t trying to.

They just know this much.

They just know this much.

Perhaps you also need to alter your perspective.

Knowing Yourself, Life, People

We need more people who understand us.

We need more people to respect us.

We need people who could see how hard we are working.

Amidst all of that, have we taken time to acknowledge our own journey?

And have we dug deep and acknowledged someone else?

If the answer to both these is yes, do we then really need someone to appreciate us?

People

Trust and Betrayal

There’s a very close relationship of mine, where I do not feel the need to be around them anymore. We’ve been very well connected, to the extent that when I used to cry alone miles away, she used to have an intuition that something is wrong with me.

Then today, I had a conversation with a mutual friend, who said she has been pushing him to convince me to take a major life step, which I do not want to take.

Then it really hit me to connect the dots. Just because this person does not respect my life choices at an inner level, I had been consistently losing this feeling of being around them.

That is such a deep thing. Not because I was #betrayed. Okay maybe I was, however a deeper thing was that we always act out basis what is happening there inside.

There are no two sides. The white ultimately becomes light grey shortly which ends up becoming black over a period of time.

Trust is something you build when they’re not watching. Hard to build trust with someone if you don’t trust yourself.

I don’t have anger against them, I only have blessings for them to trust and respect themselves. Because it takes a broken person from inside to disrespect and not give trust to the other person’s choices.

Knowing Yourself, People

Being strict

Strictness does not mean rudeness.

Strictness also does not mean lack of a great bond.

Strictness also does not mean lack of respect.

However when work is to be respected, accountability must arise.

When we let people know the inherent measure of respect, we create a space for them to respect themselves.

People, Work & Business

What’s your relationship status?

Any business relationship we enter into, we may either feel it’s great or we may feel something is not right at all.

On the surface everything may look cool, you won’t be able to point out what.

Yet you know in your heart that this business relationship is not going to work right.

Be a little right to yourself, and walk out from there. Only when you get away from wrong, will the right make space in your life.

People

I agree, Your Honour!

Agreeing with people is great. Every single human needs validation more than anything else.

However if you want to go ahead in life, you need to learn to tell what could be better – in a way that it does not offend the other person.

Everyone wants to get better. And if we see something that could help them get better and conceal it, we are making them worse. Nothing could be worse.

Easy versus critical, yet the truth.

Life, People

I don’t like it that way

Staying in silence is good. Thinking others should also do this way, is too much a burden for them.

Working out is good. Not respecting others when they don’t, isn’t.

Liking Sufi music is great. Expecting others to find it melodious isn’t.

Having choices is what makes us human.

Respecting others with their choices makes us a super human.

Not asking them to change because we want them to, is divine.

Thoughts

I dream of a world…

I dream of a world…

where we would love each other,

respect each other,

talk with each other,

irrespective of what they have done.

Just out of humanity.

Uncategorized

That phone call…

Yesterday I received a call from someone who usually does not talk with me. Also, I avoid talking with them because they consistently criticise me for my life choices. (Fun fact: This was not an ex :D)

However, instead of being more mindful, I happened to answer their call. And they followed suit – to give me opinions and tell why my life choices are not right.

This usually does not bother me, however the person on the other side was someone whom I respected in the past. A lot.

I finally hung down the phone and got myself back to normal through self-talk.

Today morning when I called up home, Papa asked: “Why are you appearing so out of place?”

While I ignored that question and drifted our conversation to other things, I finally told him everything.

Here’s how he responded to me:

1. You do not have to ignore their calls, just decide what you will pay attention to or what you will not pay attention to.

2. It may so happen that out of 10 bad things they say about you, one of those things really happen to turn out in your favour.

3. Learn to listen to critics, they are more valuable than friends, because they make you realise the importance of self-love.

Learning from wisdom and experience of elders truly collapses the learning curve.

PS: Love yourself, no one else is going to change their opinions to love you.

Uncategorized

To have the focus

We all have been given this free time.

A lot of free time.

Time to reflect, time to think, time to be the best.

Yet amidst all this there is one most important thing that no influencer has ever told you: to be self respecting.

Self – respect. It means to be in the zone of loving yourself. To know who you are. To be just the best version of you.

It may sound repetitive. To those who don’t practice it.

To those who do, it’s life changing.

Uncategorized

But I really want to be liked!

Validation is a sneaky game. It gets in through a hole underneath your main door, and makes you believe that it’s quintessentially the hero of your home.

Sadly, it sneaks in so softly that you don’t even realise that it has taken hold of you.

At some point of time, almost all of us have fallen into this need for validation. We believe that’s how life is supposed to be.

Wait, there’s a deeper side to it.

We need validation because we fear rejection.

We fear rejection because we think that we may not be liked by people we are most wanting to impress.

That feeling of not being liked, makes our ego shatter. It’s so deeply ingrained that at the time of needing validation, we’ve even forgotten that it’s the ego that is wanting to be liked.

When not liked, ego 0, reflection 1. That is a scary place to be. To see all your vulnerabilities surfaced and wanting them not to drown you, just scares the hell out of us.

What if, trying the other way round: Remembering that you’re whole and complete. If at any time you’re not liked by others, there are times when you’re liked by others.

Neither of these define who you are – it’s simply their perception.

Learn from feedback, let go of criticism, because inside you are perfect, outside we all are in the process of chipping away the non-required stuff.

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If you’re not respected by others

If others are not respecting you, that’s a feeling a lot of people don’t adore. Rather no one does.

A question to consider, before thinking of being respected by others:

“Do I really respect the way I am? Am I really proud of myself?”

Not the ego’s answer, the real answer.

Whatever the answer be (yes or no), you know what to do next.

Hint: Others were never in the picture.

Uncategorized

You’re right

There will come a time when your righteousness will be tested. People will question your energy, your positivity and most importantly, your values.

That question won’t be direct. It will be in the form of allegation, bad words or perhaps even threat.

Now you’re left with two options:

Option I:

Justify yourself.

When you don’t have that authority, justify yourself in your head.

Option II:

Understand. Questioning you may be because of only two reasons:

a) They are not too fond of you. Perhaps your high vibes make them want to try more. When they can’t, the easiest way is to bring you down.

In this situation, simply stop. Even if they are totally wrong, what they need is to be “right”. Work on yourself to calmly respond and put your point forward. Then don’t get attached to they accepting it. Bless them, and keep working within.

b) They said something that really needs to change in you, their method was however not right.

In this situation, determine to work on yourself. And for the adage “be respectful”, you start at your end by respecting the person who disrespected you. Your respect to them (from within) will be the best gift to them.

You have the self respect not to be sensitive to someone else’s way of being. That way, you empower the world.

Today. Be.