Ladies, we could do better!

One of my closest friend in school brought up this topic once. We were just seated in our bus after school, and were waiting for everyone else to come.

“Nishtha,” she said, “you know what, I am ashamed to admit it, however it’s true a woman is another woman’s biggest enemy.”

Years later, her words are making me reflect deeply these days.

We talk about gender inequality, equal rights for women at home, sharing of responsibilities at home, etc., and yes men do need to wake and shake themselves up, however a lot of women don’t feel they deserve the good that men are entitled to.

So, if you are someone (man or a woman) who believes in equality, start with not saying these five things to any woman you respect or would want to be respected.

It’ll make the world better for your daughters and sisters.

How to gain respect of others

1. By saving their time.

2. By accepting them where they are, and not judging them (even in our mind.)

3. By showing up when you commit to do so.

4. By respecting them for their life choices, even if they are not aligned with what they do or have done.

5. By giving up the need to be respected.

The true measure of your bigness

We become big

on the day

we refuse to feel small

on small acts of people

who don’t know

they are acting small.

They perhaps know this much only.

And thus, are acting this way.

But if you become like them

in the process of teaching them a lesson,

you have lost the biggest lesson of your own life:

“To not to be like the ones who try to pull you down.”

Because in reality, they aren’t trying to.

They just know this much.

They just know this much.

Perhaps you also need to alter your perspective.

We need more people who understand us.

We need more people to respect us.

We need people who could see how hard we are working.

Amidst all of that, have we taken time to acknowledge our own journey?

And have we dug deep and acknowledged someone else?

If the answer to both these is yes, do we then really need someone to appreciate us?

Trust and Betrayal

There’s a very close relationship of mine, where I do not feel the need to be around them anymore. We’ve been very well connected, to the extent that when I used to cry alone miles away, she used to have an intuition that something is wrong with me.

Then today, I had a conversation with a mutual friend, who said she has been pushing him to convince me to take a major life step, which I do not want to take.

Then it really hit me to connect the dots. Just because this person does not respect my life choices at an inner level, I had been consistently losing this feeling of being around them.

That is such a deep thing. Not because I was #betrayed. Okay maybe I was, however a deeper thing was that we always act out basis what is happening there inside.

There are no two sides. The white ultimately becomes light grey shortly which ends up becoming black over a period of time.

Trust is something you build when they’re not watching. Hard to build trust with someone if you don’t trust yourself.

I don’t have anger against them, I only have blessings for them to trust and respect themselves. Because it takes a broken person from inside to disrespect and not give trust to the other person’s choices.

Being strict

Strictness does not mean rudeness.

Strictness also does not mean lack of a great bond.

Strictness also does not mean lack of respect.

However when work is to be respected, accountability must arise.

When we let people know the inherent measure of respect, we create a space for them to respect themselves.

What’s your relationship status?

Any business relationship we enter into, we may either feel it’s great or we may feel something is not right at all.

On the surface everything may look cool, you won’t be able to point out what.

Yet you know in your heart that this business relationship is not going to work right.

Be a little right to yourself, and walk out from there. Only when you get away from wrong, will the right make space in your life.

I agree, Your Honour!

Agreeing with people is great. Every single human needs validation more than anything else.

However if you want to go ahead in life, you need to learn to tell what could be better – in a way that it does not offend the other person.

Everyone wants to get better. And if we see something that could help them get better and conceal it, we are making them worse. Nothing could be worse.

Easy versus critical, yet the truth.

I don’t like it that way

Staying in silence is good. Thinking others should also do this way, is too much a burden for them.

Working out is good. Not respecting others when they don’t, isn’t.

Liking Sufi music is great. Expecting others to find it melodious isn’t.

Having choices is what makes us human.

Respecting others with their choices makes us a super human.

Not asking them to change because we want them to, is divine.