Today I almost cried during therapy

Today I was talking to my therapist, and I don’t know how I spoke about two different sides of me:

The one is the kiddish side of me who wants to come out, and the other is the side that is expected to be mature.

And she said a line: “If people around us are not giving us that space, you better go take it.”

She also went on to tell a story, saying if you are sitting on a bench in a park, enjoying your view, and someone comes and sits next to you, what would you do?

“I’ll get up and leave!”

“Most people would shift a bit, then again shift a bit if they come closer, and over time, they would just fall of the bench. In the process, they also ruin their view. What if you just claim that view to be yours, that no one can take away?”

“I agree, I just get up and leave from such views, and keep wandering…”

OMG, she makes me speak such truths about myself that are so buried inside!

Now she has given me a task to be more spontaneous and less calculative during the week. Fingers crossed :))

Can’t talk! Just can’t!!

A startup founder reached out to me on LinkedIn, stating she was full of gratitude for what I did and how I was kind to her on her posts. She ended the DM requesting me to get on a call.

Bro, I am someone who has her phone notifications off since eternity, has never changed her phone ringtone since 2015 (when I first got my smartphone) and I am about to tell my boss that I will take only 2 interviews per day, because if I speak more than that, I will not feel energetic ๐Ÿ™‚

So I responded to her, requesting to “strike the conversation” in the DMs itself, and told her the truth.

No response as yet. Anyway, the joy of saying no which you don’t want to do, is always unparallel! :))

What I have been learning about being good…

If you take your goodness constructively, it will do miracles for you.

Because goodness, in my definition, is responsibility.

If you are good, it is your responsibility to treat the wrong person right.
If you are good, it is your responsibility to receive the wrong given to you in the right manner.

Most people (at work, outside of work) realise that only a few people can be this responsible. Thus, it is the responsible people that get most learnings. For those who do not care to be responsible to perceive things right, they are just doing the job.

Responsible ones, take the responsibility. They don’t like it the most, but they would never want it the other way. And that’s the most beautiful thing about being good.

Water water everywhere!

We hardly thank water for its role in construction, however, without it, the building would just collapse.
Be like water, my friend.

We hardly put water in the list of ingredients of any dish, however, I’m yet to see a dish that doesn’t involve water.
Be like water, my friend.

We set big menus to serve to our guests in parties, however, they would complain for centuries if they were not served adequate water.
Be like water, my friend.

Water brings everything together, yet makes itself feel redundant.
Because it knows its value, it does not crave for others to know it.

Be like water, my friend.

The problem is the problem

Three things that I do not understand:
1. People fall in love at X speed.
2. They fall out of love at 2X speed.
3. They have mental health issues at 3X speed.

– Parents not paying enough attention
– FOMO, because everyone on social media seems sorted
– We think we need someone else to complete us.

How to get out of this loop:
a. Get validation through who you are and what you do
b. Get validation through good books, videos and podcasts. They are super super super underrated.
c. Spend time alone. Daily. Outdoors. At least 30 minutes. If that could be a nature walk, nothing like it!

The only problem with our problems

The only problem with our problems is we think we shouldn’t have them.
We, thus, go about hiding them from others.
In so doing, we aren’t doing well either – neither at work nor outside of work.

What’s the solution, then?

The solution is to tell those around you, that you are going through some problems, that might not make you your 100%.
If we don’t tell them and try to do whatever we can, “whatever we can” becomes our default standard.

This is not who we are.
And living life as someone else, helps no one else.

How slim is too slim?

A few days back, a relative called up on my birthday.
After exchanging pleasantries, they said, “I have heard that you have gotten very slim.”

“Yes, you have heard the truth,” I laughed that off.

“No, but very, very slim I mean,” they shot back.

I used my fun tone again, and asked, “But you would be still commenting on my looks even if I gained a lot of weight!”

“O, even that’s the truth!”

The truth is, no matter what you do, someone will figure a way to raise a question.
If you are kind, someone will ask you to be stern.
If you are stern, someone would want you to calm down.

If you are formal, someone would want you to be more casual.
If you include casual conversations, someone would want you to stick to the point in official meetings.

There are always going to be people raising a question on you.

The question is:
What is YOUR truth?
What do you want to do?

How much weight you want to gain/lose?
How do you want to set up your relationships?
Do you value kindness more than anything else?

And when you know what YOU want, here’s a repetition for the nth time:
It DOES NOT matter what others say.

Some good friends figure out a way to chill.
Most others figure out a way to negatively thrill.
Focus on the former, and life will never be still ๐Ÿ™‚

PS: I don’t talk to my relatives per se, but this time I had to, because of my birthday :)))

5 minutes

5 minutes after work, sit and reflect.

5 minutes after food, sit there only.

5 minutes after meditation, do not reach out to phone directly.

5 minutes after workout, breathe.

5 minutes after waking up, revise your affirmations and goals.

The space of 5 minutes creates all the space we need.

Kindling away the distractions!

It’s incredible how good distractions force us to do good!

For the past 4-5 days, I noticed myself eating more than usual.
I knew I wasn’t hungry.
But just couldn’t resist!

So I played a small hack.

Each time I went to the dining table, I carried Kindle along with me.
Once I was done eating the right amount of food, I immediately switched on to reading for the next 10-15 minutes.

After that, the cravings disappeared.
So did the “hunger”.
What was left was a wiser brain and a leaner body.
Total Win-Win!

I still do that, and on each meal it works wonders!!!
Isn’t it (not at all) strange how everything in our mind is just a correlation?

Which, in turn means, we have been living our entire life on hacks!!