The only problem with our problems

The only problem with our problems is we think we shouldn’t have them.
We, thus, go about hiding them from others.
In so doing, we aren’t doing well either – neither at work nor outside of work.

What’s the solution, then?

The solution is to tell those around you, that you are going through some problems, that might not make you your 100%.
If we don’t tell them and try to do whatever we can, “whatever we can” becomes our default standard.

This is not who we are.
And living life as someone else, helps no one else.

How slim is too slim?


A few days back, a relative called up on my birthday.
After exchanging pleasantries, they said, “I have heard that you have gotten very slim.”

“Yes, you have heard the truth,” I laughed that off.

“No, but very, very slim I mean,” they shot back.

I used my fun tone again, and asked, “But you would be still commenting on my looks even if I gained a lot of weight!”

“O, even that’s the truth!”

The truth is, no matter what you do, someone will figure a way to raise a question.
If you are kind, someone will ask you to be stern.
If you are stern, someone would want you to calm down.

If you are formal, someone would want you to be more casual.
If you include casual conversations, someone would want you to stick to the point in official meetings.

There are always going to be people raising a question on you.

The question is:
What is YOUR truth?
What do you want to do?

How much weight you want to gain/lose?
How do you want to set up your relationships?
Do you value kindness more than anything else?

And when you know what YOU want, here’s a repetition for the nth time:
It DOES NOT matter what others say.

Some good friends figure out a way to chill.
Most others figure out a way to negatively thrill.
Focus on the former, and life will never be still 🙂

PS: I don’t talk to my relatives per se, but this time I had to, because of my birthday :)))

5 minutes

5 minutes after work, sit and reflect.

5 minutes after food, sit there only.

5 minutes after meditation, do not reach out to phone directly.

5 minutes after workout, breathe.

5 minutes after waking up, revise your affirmations and goals.

The space of 5 minutes creates all the space we need.

Kindling away the distractions!

It’s incredible how good distractions force us to do good!

For the past 4-5 days, I noticed myself eating more than usual.
I knew I wasn’t hungry.
But just couldn’t resist!

So I played a small hack.

Each time I went to the dining table, I carried Kindle along with me.
Once I was done eating the right amount of food, I immediately switched on to reading for the next 10-15 minutes.

After that, the cravings disappeared.
So did the “hunger”.
What was left was a wiser brain and a leaner body.
Total Win-Win!

I still do that, and on each meal it works wonders!!!
Isn’t it (not at all) strange how everything in our mind is just a correlation?

Which, in turn means, we have been living our entire life on hacks!!

Giving up on trends

Okay, so I have finally decided to give up on creating Insta reels.

Not because I can’t.
Rather because it is distracting.

Creating a video requires a lot of effort. And a lot of screen time. Which is not the best use of my time.

Also, as I thought deeper, even if my reels get viral, even if I become a great influencer because of reels, even if each reel of mine hits a million views, I am encouraging mini content which anyway has very little impact for inducing change in viewers. Especially on a platform like Instagram where everything is designed to make you waste your time and kill your attention, I want to be someone who actually makes people NOT waste their time by creating text-only images.

The best part? They can be scheduled through Facebook Creator instead of actually installing the app.

So maybe yes, reels are trending. However, I am way happy with working on LinkedIn and Twitter, while creating text-only pics on Instagram. Instead of working on “virality”, I’ll work on my originality and let my tribe fall in love with who I really am – a words girl, not a video girl 🙂

Boss Lady

To be a boss lady, you do not have to become the boss of the team. You just have to be the boss of your life.

Lemme show that to you with an example:

Pic 1
Pic 2

If you observe closely, in Pic 1 I am having a fake smile versus I’m just being a natural in Pic 2.

Why so? Because that day I was going to do something that I should have said no to. So I was not in my best frame of mind. It is from 2018.

In pic 2, from March 2021, I’m just myself all the time. Being happy, saying no to things that don’t matter, and more than anything else, being the boss of my life.

So, if you want to be the Boss Lady, just live your life on your own terms. And not to impress anyone.

How past trauma affects work

Someone I know was in a bad relationship in the past.
Multiple traumatic experiences with the same guy.
He used to leave her, then come and physically and mentally exploit her, and the chain continued for several years.

Until one day she finally got the courage to get up and leave.

But you know what, this trauma continued for several years in her work as well.

She believed she was not deserving of getting her needs met at work, so she wanted to leave from work at the tiniest of discomfort.
She never went up to talk to her clients or bosses, because she was never spoken to in the most intimate relationships.
More than anything else, if anyone at work praised her work, she felt it was a lie just like the guy “loved” her and went away multiple times.

Here’s the truth: When you look at that guy, his social media profiles, his work background, he comes across as an Angel. Like no one could be as divine as him. Yet he is the cause of someone else’s deepest trauma.

Sometimes it helps to see that our desire for needs becomes someone’s long-term pain. Are we ready to bear the consequence of that karma?

Self-control

Self-control to not check WhatsApp because it is just a time-pass.

Self-control to block the negative people because you love yourself.

Self-control to sleep at a fixed time every night because early morning meditation and workout is superimportant to you.

Self-control to distance yourself from “friends” that drain your energy because you can’t love anyone unless you love yourself.

Self-control to have the self-control to not talk about this self-control in public and rather live by it, because doers rule the world.

What does true hard work mean?

Hustling. Grinding. Slogging in the hours.
All of this is pop culture’s definition of hard work.

Except that it’s false.

True hard work is when someone’s good or bad deeds do not invoke a reaction from you.

If the above line seemed difficult, it may be possible that you’re just wasting your time instead of doing the real hard work.

What an influencer!

These days you are learning a lot about my meditation retreat experiences. You’ll have them coming more, for the coming few days.

So while on that retreat, I happened to meet an influencer who stays there in the ashram. And when I went to meet him in his office (that was adjacent to the room he stayed in), I was stunned by what I saw!

While the ashram is big, I had thought his room as well to be one.

But that’s what his room was a reminder of: giving, sacrifice and living as who you are – not as what you want to show.

And meeting him was indeed a wonderful experience 🙂