Last few days

Last few days were very hard.

I won’t say “because of…”

I’d rather say because I didn’t invest much on myself. Slept by 10 instead of 9:30 on a lot of days, killed some time on Instagram, and the worst of all, on the opinions of others.

Will change that a lot in 2022. Already started!

2022, here we come :))

37 YouTube subscribers

Around 2015-16, I started posting on YouTube.
Because I wanted to be a motivational speaker.

But of course, I failed. For several reasons:

  1. No consistency
  2. No research into customers
  3. No understanding of tags
  4. No understanding of re-indexing
  5. Zero editing

Also, over time I wanted to devote myself to writing full-time. So I stopped posting there.

Was it a failure?
I have recently gotten into a contract with one of the top ten startups of India to create video course for them on Content Writing. All because of those video speaking skills.

This is not to boast anything about. I still believe it was pure luck.

However, there is something from Steve Jobs that comes forward to help us: You cannot connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backward.

Getting curious and doing the things without the intention of being famous or rich, just because you are inclined towards it is one of the biggest privileges of life.

And for YouTube, the subscriber base has finally grown. From 37, we have reached 41. LOL.
If you would love to extend your support, please follow me on Twitter as that is where I am planning to work more in 2021, YT is not on my list as of now. Thank you so much 🙂

When you don’t know

When you don’t know, you still know.

It’s just a question of going deep within.

Let’s say you don’t know what to do when a friend does not respond to an important message of yours.

When you say: “I don’t know,” it is rather you deciding to overlook the option of staying calm mentally as well as physically.

The journey is never of the answer. The journey is of acceptance. You know it. When you do, how are you going to handle it? Most of us don’t know how to handle ourselves. Learning that, is the goal.

About finding your answers

If any question had a straight answer, life would not be the way it is today.

And the way it is today, is how it is supposed to be.

The meaning of life is to fall in love with the process. The meaning of life is to take action, only then you will enjoy the pauses.

If you feel lost, if you don’t know where do you want to go, if you don’t know what’s next, here’s the reality: you can find it.

You have found out a lot of answers in the past.

If you are willing to take action, you will figure out the answer.

If you are not taking action because you are lost, then you have already lost.

No action = Assured Failure

Action = Experience or Success. Both are valuable.

The Failure Story

Today I stumbled upon the failure resume of Ankur Warikoo. Was a wonderful peep into why this man is so humble despite having achieved so much in life.

Basis that I decided to prepare a failure resume of my life so far. Not about career as he did, rather what has made me strong so far.

I am often told by a lot of people:

“You’re too strong!”

“You understand things quite deeply.”

Also on the last day of my first job, my then boss (who had never said it), said me: “My indirect guru!”

While all these things may seem elating, this 28 year of life span has taught neither to be super-happy on appreciation, nor to be super-sad while being criticized.

Yet I was not born with this strength. 

Here’s how I happened to develop it:

2002: Class VI – My then best friend found a new best friend all of a sudden. Not only I was friendless, I also sat in a corner while all others played basketball in games period. 

Lesson learnt: I started becoming friends with everyone – na kaahu se dosti na kahu se vair. And bam! Started enjoying school life unlike ever before.

2003: Our whole family has decided to go to a park on a Sunday evening. Maa and sisters have prepared dahi bhallas and aloo tikki to be eaten up there. I am ready with my badminton and best hair band. My masi and my cousin have also come home – we will all enjoy together. 

Just half an hour before we are about to leave, Papa says we won’t go. He blabbered some reason which I could intuitively feel were not right. He just said no means no.

Lesson learnt: I always make it a point to take my nephew / nieces to park – no matter how much I want to rest. They just know one thing: “If masi has committed, she will take us to the park and play with us.” (Without phone.)

2010: IIM – A, where the world goes to fulfill their dreams, I signed up for a nightmare. Went there for a day-long conference, and met the first person I fell in relationship with. 

He liked nothing about me – absolutely nothing other than my skin colour. He became friends with my cousin, used to talk with her while I had already been thrown out of his life, and above everything – threw me out of his place on our last meeting.

Lesson learnt: Not yet bro, I had one bigger jolt to learn the lesson.

2011: The sister just older than me, who is also the closest one – gets engaged and married. After her marriage she faces some problems in her own life, because of which she couldn’t devote time to our relationship.

Lesson learnt: Learn to channel your loneliness into solitude. That’s when I fell in love with books for eternity. 

2014: Nana died. I was one of his favourite kids. I go through all his last rites peacefully, strong as a rock. It came out naturally, didn’t have to do it.

Two weeks later, my Mom asked me: “Where do you bring so much power from? You didn’t even cry! I helped myself a lot just by looking at the way you conducted yourself and knowing what Nana meant to you!”

Lesson learnt (this time a powerful one): Keep filling yourself with power, over a period of time it will become automatic.

2016: Okay, this is the second jolt. Was exactly the photocopy of the first guy, with additional splice of anger, blame game and a ton of blackmailing.

I considered myself lucky to finally be able to get out of that.

Lesson learnt: Your life has a pattern. If it is following a pattern you aren’t proud of, reflect over it and change. (Disclaimer: Neither of these 2 persons were bad – they were just not right.) Also, learnt to say no gracefully and without any guilt.

2017: This is when I have started journaling a lot. Have started listening to God’s words. Have made a relationship with him. He is right there for me, every single time.

2018: Me and my best friend were supposed to go to Goa in January. We booked our tickets in July itself. Excitement was at its best. We were just reverse counting the days.

Somewhere around November, another friend of hers also books her tickets with us. I feel resentful in the beginning – it was a trip for both of us. Yet, I thought it was immature to react so much, and of course, my excitement belongs to me. I continued being excited.

In December 2017 I texted my friend: “Yayyy!!! Next month finally Goa!” She replied with a cold message, and asked if her friend would hamper our enjoyment. I said yes she would, however let’s focus on what’s working.

She said it’s better not to go then.

Cool. I cancel my tickets. She also tries to, yet since the refund is negligible, she decides not to cancel it.

Later around Christmas, she pushes me to book my tickets again. I choose not to, price is 4X now.

On the day of her take off, I am in a meeting onsite. Couldn’t take her call. Saw her message later that she just wanted to talk. I went back to my hotel room, call my sister, and cry a lot. A lottt.

Lesson learnt: To love your friends without any condition. We are still very good friends. Yet conditioned my mind to accept her where she is, instead of laying a bunch of expectations on her.

Also, I make God my bff now. We are just the best since then.

That’s it people, some small takes in this big picture called Life.

Gary Vaynerchuk, who posts a lot about optimism and hope, said once: I wish people could share their real struggles with everybody – the world would be so much lighter and happier if it happened.

That was the very reason I shared these struggles with you. Not to brag about what I went through. People have been through worse. Yet, when we know the process we honour the result and respect the journey. 

Nothing is natural other than nature. We have become who we are.

From tomorrow, we’ll go back to possibility and power! Hasta-la-vista baby!!

I dream of a world

I dream of a world, where…

• where we could tell each other that we need help

• where asking for help would be considered a sign of strength and not of powerlessness

• where failing in life did not mean we are a failure

• where we said yes, and then said no in a way that it won’t appear like a no

• where we appreciated our loved ones for their journey even if they are not doing what we wished them to do

• where we learnt how to tolerate our angst against people whose sole and soul role is to make us stronger, and to show us that our time is way to important to try to change them

• where we just knew that we are loved

Make it matter

You will fail.

And you will fail.

And then you will rise like a shining star, that no one does.

And when you have had that success, remember to never get accustomed to it.

You will be called as successful, if you always keep on learning and making others powerful.

Failure appreciation

Isn’t it okay to appreciate someone when they fail?

A lot of people feign their success on social media because sadly we’d all been appreciated in childhood only when we succeeded.

Maybe along with

•bringing value

•engaging with right people

•making our mark

“accepting and appreciating people” for where they are in their journey, should also be one of the criteria for people to come online.

Every SINGLE one of us who has ever been successful, knows the failures that went behind it.

Appreciate those failures in someone else might give you relief as well, for being the emotional support of someone when perhaps you didn’t have it when you needed it.