The problem is the problem

Three things that I do not understand:
1. People fall in love at X speed.
2. They fall out of love at 2X speed.
3. They have mental health issues at 3X speed.

Reasons:
– Parents not paying enough attention
– FOMO, because everyone on social media seems sorted
– We think we need someone else to complete us.

How to get out of this loop:
a. Get validation through who you are and what you do
b. Get validation through good books, videos and podcasts. They are super super super underrated.
c. Spend time alone. Daily. Outdoors. At least 30 minutes. If that could be a nature walk, nothing like it!

I felt soooo happy!

A friend asked me about a book recommendation on mental health.

I was soooo soooo happy!

Gave her my favourite one, along with a few that could rank after it.

But you know what, the feeling was epic.

Which brings me to…ahem ahem!

I will start writing book summaries soon. Even the thought is good enough to keep me up at night. However, when you sleep well, you create well.

So, see you all soon with consistent book reviews. Whoa, I could die in a library 🙂

PS: When my friend asked for book reccos, I didn’t tell her the names or Amazon links, I clicked pictures of the books I love and sent those. Totally loved it!!!

Dealing with mental health issues

With the mental health issues going to peak ten days back, I deliberately started taking extra care of myself.

Here’s what I realised:

  • At the core of every mental health issue, is the need for happiness.
  • When I didn’t get it, I felt a chaos in my mind.
  • I almost (read: always) believed that if I am good to everyone, they should also be good to me. Unmindful of the fact, that everyone is going through the chaos in their minds as well (including our families)
  • Taking care of yourself is something you will have to do. Otherwise we will always be dependent on the mood swings of others – and that is never a balanced place to settle on.
  • Being happy is NOT a sin. Okay? Read it again if it was not clear to you.

Here’s what I have started doing now:

  • Given up the need to impress everyone and make them happy. I have realised that even if I am happy and doing things to make them happy, if someone makes a conscious or unconscious choice to be upset, they will. Don’t take anyone personally.
  • Love yourself like that is your job#1. For most people, this job even doesn’t make it to the list of their jobs.
  • Stop justifying your actions all the time. I do not give a damn to what anyone else says yet don’t know how during this lockdown I started craving for the validation of my family. If you feel truthful and real in your work, you have done your job well. Anything and anyone that takes you away from peace is the one worth going away from.
  • Imagine the best outcome. We all are the creators of our experiences. What we are today, is what we had imagined yesterday.
  • This one is important. Treat people well even if you don’t listen to them or you know they are toxic. They are being them, and for whatever little time they get to hang around you, make sure to be kind to them. They are fighting a tough battle. Just like I needed people with my mental health issues, I realised they will also need kind people so that mental health issues don’t sink into them.

The journey is hard. Only if I label it so. Remember – creators of our experiences? Now I have unabashedly started living for my own happiness – without hurting others, however, not allowing anyone to enter that bubble and burst it.

To make the bygone, happier

Almost everyone of us was shocked on the sudden demise of Sushant Singh Rajput.

People blamed nepotism, crushing of his dreams and existence of politics for that.

The time kept on going. And then came the day for his last movie being premiered on air. We were ready with tissue papers, popcorns, and tonnes of empathy for him.

We all cried with him.

Now what’s next? In a few days or weeks, our life will start going as it was. In fact, it already has.

Here’s the biggest truth: Sushant won’t be happy on you just watching his last movie.

If we cried and loved him and missed him, it won’t make him happy.

Rather if we just stopped and did something like:

  • texting a loved one for no reason
  • calling someone whom we haven’t spoken to, in a long time
  • let our loved ones know we love them

Sushant would be much much happier, wherever he is, whatever he is doing.

You are terrified at his death. The entire nation is. However, none of us, not a single one of us know what others are going through – not even our family and friends.

If we could show them that we are there for them, no matter what, they’ll feel connected to a part of them that most of us have lost.

‘And perhaps, they come to life again! Maybe Sushant will also!

Strong and happy. Maybe!

I want to put a strong and happy face and tell it’s going alright.

I also want to be grateful for the love and blessings that I have been blessed with.

I also want to do great and productive stuff.

However it just isn’t.

Family thinks I’m too lost. In reality, I am too lost.

They think I’m working too much. In reality, I am trying to work too much.

They perhaps believe I don’t care. In reality, can someone please care without conditions attached?

Will learn to deal with it, navigate it, fight it, tell myself it will be over.

And it will.

Till then, we may just learn to switch from spreading awareness to becoming the awareness.

The limit

The limit is the quality of content and people you surround yourself with.

The limit is the books you don’t read.

The limit is the empathy you don’t give to yourself.

The limit is the chats you have while you shouldn’t.

The limit is the DMs you don’t send.

The limit is the smiles you knew you could spread.

The limit is your decisions.