The right music
The right books
Getting away from the wrong people
Spending time in nature, working looking at nature
Workouts
Meditation
Saying NO
Tag: peace
Someone recently told me, that they were once in a room with one of the Top CEOs of the biggest companies in India. They were the huge shots, running literally a 3-5% of our cumulative GDP.
The conversations in the room?
The random useless conversations that most people have.
It got me thinking.
That we get rich because of our surroundings, our mindset, our hard work, and some luck.
But choosing to not pick up waste conversations, is the intense inner hard work.
Something that no one can do for you.
Something that no rich people would even advice you for.
Something that is achieved on the outside only by going inside.
That is the real becoming Big.
If you surround yourself with someone who does that, you’re lucky.
If you become someone who does that, you’re gold.
We hardly thank water for its role in construction, however, without it, the building would just collapse.
Be like water, my friend.
We hardly put water in the list of ingredients of any dish, however, I’m yet to see a dish that doesn’t involve water.
Be like water, my friend.
We set big menus to serve to our guests in parties, however, they would complain for centuries if they were not served adequate water.
Be like water, my friend.
Water brings everything together, yet makes itself feel redundant.
Because it knows its value, it does not crave for others to know it.
Be like water, my friend.
Travelling in a train right now.
Started late afternoon. Will reach at night.
Thought something incredible:
During the day, when we peep out the glass window, we see nature.
As it gets dark, and we peep out, all that we see is our own reflection. Nothing external.
Darkness reveals ourselves to us. The pain, powerlessness and peeping for peace – show us who we really are.
No matter how much we wait for the morning to come, if we ignore the dark, we create another version of our dark in the light as well.
Life lessons from being a manager:
1. You can be kind and assertive. You must be.
2. Raising your words and calming down your words is the balance you have to know.
3. Trust people, but push them to be better.
4. You don’t need to be on email and WhatsApp all the time.
5. You cannot be friends with your colleagues. You can either be friends or get strict work done. Can’t do both.
Sometimes I find myself walking to my bookshelf, pick up Andre Agassi’s memoir Open, and look at this back cover pic of Agassi.
The kid is quite confused.
The kid hated tennis.
The grown-up Agassi hated tennis.
But with the weight of that racquet too much to handle, he managed it for one of the greatest careers in history.
And perhaps even found himself in the process.
This kid gives me power, strength, and often vulnerability, to not resist what’s coming.
In what lies unseen, you will see yourself.
In what you don’t know, you will know more.
In what you hate, you will end up loving yourself.
There is this special love between the writer and her writing.
The love that does the extra things that “no one will notice”.
The love that does everything because there are no limitations in true love.
The love that makes you detached because you gave your best.
The love that no one will see or understand, other than the writer and her art.
The love, that transcends the money and validation, because they follow effortlessly.
The love, that comes from within.
The Love, that the writing becomes the writer’s signature.
No one will understand this, unless they have been in love.
No one will value this, because the writer does not crave for that value.
As a matter of fact, it is this privacy that the writer enjoys the most, as writers who love their work would agree 🙂
When I was in Class 6, I wrote my first poetry.
In Class 9, I asked my English teacher: “What shall I do in order for you to give me more than 7 out of 10 marks, in the Writing section?”
In Class 10 and 12, I was the national topper in English language.
In University exams, I got 63 out of 70 in English and Commercial Communication – the only exam I did not study ANYTHING! (Don’t know who the topper was :D)
In the 3 months vacation after giving CA exams, I ended up writing my first book!
In 5 years after writing that first book, I was finally able to let go of a stable career as an Internal Auditor and plunge into writing full-time.
What we see that happens suddenly, has years of unseen practice that goes into it.
But here is what I know for sure:
1. Your heart knows it, before you know it.
2. Your life is always showing you signs, it is just you – who has to stop and listen.
3. Your journey is always going to be different from someone who “made it before you.” But still, your journey is yours. And you won’t want it different.
Do you have someone around you, who is not talking to you?
You’ve tried everything, yet there happens to be some mystery?
I came across this quote of Tony Robbins, that would help:
“The unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer him up, because that means he has to stop dwelling on himself and start paying attention to the universe. Unhappiness is the ultimate form of self-indulgence.” – Tony Robbins
Read that again. And again.
And then, bless them. And move on!
Had the first therapy session today.
Who in the world talks about it openly?
Well, we haven’t been open, that is why we have been needing therapy 🙂
On that note, it felt a bit better. Even though it will take some time to heal unseen wounds of years, well, all is well that starts well. 😊
A good writer reads.
A great writer studies well-written texts.
A good writer is attached to their work.
A great writer loves their work, and is flexible to make changes. (Almost ALL the time :D)
A good writer wants others to like their work.
A great writer writes because she cannot not write.
A good writer writes when they are in a mood of writing.
A great writer writes, no matter what, and gets into a great mood.
A good writer faces writer’s block.
A great writer keeps writing, and lets the editing weed out non-essentials.
A good writer gets tired after a long session.
A great writer gets euphoric after a long session.
A good writer is in it for the rewards.
A great writer, gets rewarded for the process she follows daily.
Anyone can be a good writer.
It takes love for the process, the constant upskilling, and enjoying the flow, to become a great one.
Mark Manson asked a question on Twitter today: List three things you wish you understood 10 years ago.
Here’s my response:
1. To say no in a potential relationship, where you know it ain’t going to work, is power.
2. Invest in equity.
3. Build a community.
PS: I was already working out, meditating, reading books and eating right at that point. So missed out these basics 🙂
Sometimes all I have is sympathy for our parents’ generation.
Their parents saw the partition of the nation – leaving their country, their childhood, all that they called “theirs”, to come to another place just to survive.
In this need for survival, was the generation of our parents born.
Thus, the upbringing they got was of stress, not having enough time, and always lack of means.
Which is why our parents are the way they are.
They have been conditioned so.
They were never taught to love.
Perhaps because they were never loved.
And then one fine day, we pop up and expect them to be cool because that is what we are surrounded by – cool kids just like us.
Now that we know, we can still do what we want to do, while being respectful of who they are. It isn’t just for them, it is for the acknowledgement of how much they are trying to adapt, because they care for you:)
To be a boss lady, you do not have to become the boss of the team. You just have to be the boss of your life.
Lemme show that to you with an example:
If you observe closely, in Pic 1 I am having a fake smile versus I’m just being a natural in Pic 2.
Why so? Because that day I was going to do something that I should have said no to. So I was not in my best frame of mind. It is from 2018.
In pic 2, from March 2021, I’m just myself all the time. Being happy, saying no to things that don’t matter, and more than anything else, being the boss of my life.
So, if you want to be the Boss Lady, just live your life on your own terms. And not to impress anyone.
Anger. The word whose existence kills most relationships.
Even when people are aware that they need to stop getting so angry, why aren’t they able to change it?
Because they want their needs to be met first.
I want to be respected by my friends.
I want to earn more than a colleague.
I should be the priority for getting perks.
I want…
And when we don’t get these things we get bruised in our minds. That inner hurt is reflected as anger, sooner or later.
What if, we try the other way round?
I respect my friends and I know they also love and respect me, even if they don’t express it.
What I earn is right for me and whatever raise I deserve, will come to me.
Everyone is getting all the perks they deserve. It’s us vs me.
It turns out, when we change the inner conversation, the outer and inner anger vanishes.
Guess who is responsible for our anger then?
Guess who has the power to change it?
The power we look for outside, is the inner power we do not use.
Last year, I resigned from my job in March 2020, got relieved in June 2020.
Started freelancing then. Learnt multiple ways of sourcing new clients. Did wonderful work. Made a bit less than my salary but absolutely loved every day of the last one year.
After all this hustle, this April I got myself to a place where I was making more than my last drawn salary. And lo and behold, I got a job offer (that begins on 1st June) for a job I love.
So I said no to some of the prospective clients, said yes to working with some of those along with working full time on the job. And I guess we will 2X my last drawn salary at the start of the new job, leaving how things take us further to the future.
So, it is easy to demotivate myself by saying “I was jobless for a year”. Well, this is how society has conditioned us to believe.
Except, the truth is:
1. I finally had the courage to pursue my passion of writing, by giving up the stability of a full time job.
2. That taught me sales, negotiation and persuasion skills, along with polishing my skill set as a writer.
3. I was able to try an internship in content creation, among other things, that finally lead me to having a full-time job as Content Manager with one of the top brands of India.
4. I was responsible and accountable for my time.
5. I was finally not killing myself daily.
Thus, I was (and still am) living a life of choice. A privilege a lot of us have however very few of us have the courage to live by it.
The best part? For the first time in life I’m going for a job for which there is no degree on my resume, just a skill set and an experience to prove its mettle. Isn’t that amazing? 🤩
Chinta na kar.
Ye pal bhi beet jayega.
Wo aansuon ki dhaara
Wo samay ka ishara
Wo beparwah awara
Ye pal bhi beet jayega
Khud pe bharosa rakh ke to dekh
Apni baatein khud se kar ke to dekh
Khushi ko apna banaa ke to dekh
Khushi bhi teri mohtaj ban jayegi
Aur ye pal bhi beet jayega
Wo apne jo paraaye ho gaye
Wo paraaye jo kabhi apne the hi nahi
Wo kisse jo puraane ho gaye
Wo hisse jo kabhi apne the hi nahi
In begaani si baaton me
Tujhe khud ka sahara mil jayega
Chinta na kar
Ye pal bhi beet jayega
Wo toote sapne
Wo jhoothe vaade
Wo dard bhare din
Wo sooni raatein
Sabko intezaar hai to sirf ek baat ka
Ki tu kab
Beete hue kal ko chhorkar
Aane waale pal ke geet gayega
Chinta na kar
Ye pal bhi beet jayega
Wo tera khushi se jhoom uthna
Wo khud par vishwas mein pahaad ulta dena
Na duniya ki chinta
Na apno ka dar
Kuch tere paas tha
To wo tha junoon har pahar
Ye khoya khoya samay bhi vapas jayega
Chinta na kar
Ye pal bhi beet jayega
Ye pal bhi beet jayega
Ye pal bhi beet jayega
Since I was burning with fever yesterday, the rice I prepared day before yesterday was used yesterday as well.
Used it as fried rice for lunch and dal rice for dinner.
The dal was freshly prepared, and the rice were cold. So when I poured hot burning dal on rice, the mixture still seemed sort of cold.
It made me think – as to how much power does being “chilled out” have. No matter how hot (or angry) someone else is, when you are chilled out, anything that comes in your contact also gets chilled out.
Would you want to give this a try?
This afternoon, my sister was sitting sad and lost.
When I asked her multiple times, she still didn’t respond.
My 3 yo nephew or her son, who was in her lap, I turned to him.
Told him, “Tell you Mom to smile.”
Do you know what he responded?
“I want watermelon!”
Wow. So cute. That is the level I want to get to in my life.
Here’s something I learnt from him:
- My sis told me that he was already nudging her to stop being so sad. He always says, “First, you smile.“
- He was not attached to his Mom’s emotions. He loves her, wanted her to smile. But didn’t get upset when she did.
- He knew what he wanted 🙂
- Didn’t get unhappy when he didn’t get the watermelon.
- His love is not conditional when his Mom is smiling only. Love IS he.
So, my question to you is: Do you want watermelon?
Love. Such a beautiful word.
We are born with it. We are not taught how to love. It is our real nature. We come along with it.
We smile at our family and strangers alike.
We talk to anyone and everyone irrespective of their colour or race.
We trust people for who they are.
We forgive quickly.
We are just real, with no judgements, no gossip, and definitely no need to control anyone.
This is who we are when we were born – real and untainted.
Then a terrible thing happened.
We realised the world does not function this way. The world is sadly living in a manufactured definition of love.
Where we will be loved when we recite a poetry in front of our relatives.
Where we will be loved when we get certain percentage in schools and colleges.
Where we will be loved when we pursue a life choice that isn’t ours but of people who “love” us.
Where we will be loved when we agree to making “love” with a partner otherwise they will question our character.
Where we will be loved by our “friends” if and only if we gossip with them about other friends.
And if we do none of these and walk our own talk, we will not be loved.
Be like him.
Talk like her.
Look at what he has accomplished.
Words and people that were meant to make us rise, end up diminishing our self confidence infinitely.
And then we wonder why don’t we feel the love we used to feel as a kid.
At this point, each one of us has two choices:
- Fall for this manufactured definition of love, follow the norms others have laid down for you, and be someone who again gives manufactured love. But wait, you will have everyone there with you, to “love” you. Other than you.
- Be who you are, being respectful of others yet doing what you feel is right. Own your life, and take the steps that you want to take. It will be easier. But guess what? You will almost always be alone on this journey.
Most of us fall for the first one. Not because we cannot hear our inner voice. But because the external voices of manufactured love will stop coming to us if we love ourselves. And that’s scary.
Very few of us, very very few of us, who take the plunge to love ourselves, live a life of real luxury. There are roadblocks and hurdles at the start, but when you overcome them (and you always do), what comes out is You. Real You. Who is love. Not manufactured. Rather real love. And then solving all problems becomes a skill that gets compounded and works in your favour 🙂
Every single day, we have two choices – be the Real Love or fall for Manufactured Love. It is not a one-time choice. It is a daily choice.
The choices that we make daily, will determine how much real love we become.
And give to the people looking at us to show them how the world works.