So there is a beautiful Atif Aslam old songs live performance on YouTube which you have no reason to miss out on.

One of the songs there is: “Zindagi ke safar mein guzar jaate hain jo makaam…”

I had heard of that song before, however, only the first two lines. While listening to the rest of the song, I have been jamming on the remaining lines again and again. This is how they go:

Patjhad mein jo phool murjha jaate hain
Wo bahaaron ke aane se khilte nahi
Kuch log jo yu hi bicchad jaate hain
Wo hazaaron ke aane se milte nahi…

Translated, it means: The people we move on from, we move on from forever, no matter a thousand people after them come.

Isn’t it true, no matter how much we don’t want it to be true?

On that note, I hope you know that it’s okay to feel those emotions, go for a long walk, be grateful for your life today, and get back to the world 🙂

I have been thinking of a lot of people I meet, to be very strategic in what they do.

Why they care
Why they reach out
Why they say they need you

And invariably, life was putting such people in my way.

Even though, there were people who were simply there – with no agenda.

However, because my internal monologue was that people are strategic, most people did show up to be that way.

So now, I am proclaiming all people to be nice and kind.

And I am sure they will turn out to be so.

Our remarks rule our reality. Initiate them intelligently.

If you ever had a thought that your work doesn’t matter, this is for you – 

– What if your maid went on an uninformed leave for a week?
– What if your “gaadi waala aaya ghar se kachra nikaal” didn’t come?
– What if when you had to get your drains cleaned, you couldn’t find anyone?
– What if public transport drivers went on a strike and EVERYONE came out on the road to drive? Can you imagine the traffic jam and the environmental damage?
– What if all delivery boys from Amazon, Big Basket, Zepto, etc. stopped working altogether?

Almost everything in our lives would come to a standstill if people in these jobs would not do their work.

So is the case with your job, my friend.

No matter what your job, it does contribute a LOT to the bigger picture, in keeping our economy alive.

Even if it appears very little to you.
Even if you feel you are easily replaceable.
Even if your boss doesn’t make you feel that way.

And you should be proud of your job, no matter what you do.

You don’t deserve any lesser.

The chorus squad in a live performance is the most important part imo.

They give joy to the song (check out 5.14 here)
They give meaning to the performance.
They allow the empty spaces to be filled with the most beautiful music and melodies.

Without them, the performance of the lead singer won’t be as enriched as it is. All performances of Coke Studio are an example of that.

Which brings me to the impact of your work.
If you look at it, no one ever applauds the chorus group.
Nevertheless, they show up and do their work making it effortless.

Will you be ready to do your work just for the joy of it, and not showing it off to others?
Will you be happy to do your work only because it makes you happy?
More than anything else, will you be happy only one person (who is not you) getting the limelight in a group effort?

Our inner happiness is the compass that will eventually describe our joy. Or make us need more of external validation.

The thing we seek is the thing we need. Make sure you seek the right things.

…intuition is the answer.

When I experimented with full-time freelancing in 2020, here were the challenges I faced:

– How to be confident of my offer
– How to build my credibility
– How to raise my prices
– How to make money
– How to get clients

When I have started freelancing off-late, the challenges I am facing are:

– How to build a go-to doc of all good writing I come across
– How to incorporate more deep work to write my book
– How to build contents of the writing course
– The right time to bring in automations
– When to upgrade the website

The truth is, you don’t strive to run out of life challenges.

You just get to a place of solving better challenges.

Which is when you truly won 🙂
Which is what I wish for you, today, my friend 🙂

You will not get your due.
You will not get that 1:1 chat.
You will not get that raise you know you deserve.
You will not be acknowledged for what you bring to the table.
You will not be promoted for the efforts you put in late nights and early mornings work, that helps everyone to date.

Which is why, your work should not be the only source of your happiness.

Have a life outside of work, and the life inside of work stops taking your emotions for a ride.

No, the night doesn’t change that fast.

It took hard work.

Loads of hard work.

It took missing out on family engagements.

Loads of them.

It took not being able to form meaningful friendships.

It took a ton of therapy sessions.

It took away the kid in you.

It took countless tears on the bathroom floor.

It took questioning yourself more than you deserved to.

And it took one last trial after which you were about to give up.

No, the night did not change so fast.

It takes a decade for change to happen overnight.

When we have not gotten closure from one place, our mind subconsciously looks for other places where there was an open loop, and tries to make sense of it all.

Something my therapist told me. And I’m still pondering upon it.

In the last one week, I happened to reconnect with 3 people who were a part of my past.

And the feeling on connecting with all of them was, to say the least, dismal.

Met an old school friend (along with our third school friend who is a bestie as on date). Then connected with another old friend from college and CA days, on LinkedIn. And also texted a mentor today, thanking them on the occasion of Teachers Day.

Here is something I learnt from the conversations where none of them turned out to be beautiful:

For the context, these conversations were in decreasing order of time – first one – 2 hours of in-person meeting, second one – 8-10 DMs exchange, third one – one DM exchange, respectively.

1. Takers become takers when they are consumed a lot – in their life problems or money or both.
   I am a big believer of being genuinely interested in people, however, when they do not even know who I have become today as a human being, if I am doing fine, what motivates me, etc., and all conversations centered around them, your spirit just moves away from them. Perhaps forever.
   
2. There is a reason why those people are not in your life right now. If they truly had to understand you, why would you all be out of touch?
   
3. When someone reaches out and connects, they don’t do it out of lack of self respect, however, they do it because they care for the bond that existed. Which is why I reached out to the three of them 🙂
   And this is why if someone from my past reaches out to me and I am not in a headspace to reconnect with them, I still send an equally enthusiastic response, or I do not agree to meet them in the first place. Still, in the same tonality.

So the best thing to do perhaps is to not reconnect with people who were a part of your past, in most cases.

This may sound gloomy, which is why I have a corollary: If you intuitively feel there will be love and acceptance in that relationship (unlike these – where I intuitively felt there is going to be no or little acceptance but I chose to give them a chance), you should consider giving those reconnections a chance.

For example, my school bestie with whom I met this other school friend, we got closer again earlier last year, after almost a year of not being in touch. But she never displayed attitude, nor did I – and today she is one of my most comfort people.

This is the thing about heartbreaks. We think it is only in romantic relationships. In reality, it is in so many relationships – friendships, colleagues, past friendships, past colleagues, and so many other relationships.

Because the heartbreak has occurred, you should also give yourself the emotional resources and perhaps the time to heal from it and deal with it. You’ll learn. You’ll figure. You’ll rock.

To bring things home, you intuitively know what will work out and what won’t – and even if you want to give things a chance, it’s okay. It’s totally okay. You lived out to your best version, and that’s fine.

Sometimes you must move on. Because they have already.

Btw, I’m listening to
“Yaad hai mujhko, tune kaha tha, tujhse nahi roothenge kabhi…”