There is a friend of an acquaintance of mine, who always needs people to lean on. Planning getaways, planning a catch-up, coming up with ideas to stay together, he has something planned for every weekend.
The other disadvantage is he mistakes his charisma and chutzpah for competence and confidence.
These kind of people are equally distributed around everyone’s circle. Once a year, I come across such hyper-dependent but visibly independent people.
Some characteristics:
- Always looking for the “next thing”
- Hates a monotonous life
- Questions everyone who doesn’t think like them
- Too much fluff, too little depth
- Too much charisma, too little competence
- They hold others together not by the depth of their thoughts but by the chutzpah of their conversations (this is an extension of the previous point)
- Show zero signs of empathy
When I think about such people, I pity them. What all must have transpired for them to be able to never know themselves. Maybe a lot of successes, because failures open doorways for reflection. Maybe too many failures, that they think someone else is responsible for them. Maybe a lot of fear, because spending time with yourself is scary. I honestly have a lot of sympathy for them.
But what I also know for sure is that most people who are surrounded by a character like this end up feeling they are wrong (and not this character).
And I am here to tell you that the only wrong thing that is going on is you not listening to your intuition. It is rare to be alone and it is often a gem. It is a mark of the highest level of satisfaction to adore your boring life. It is a joy to be a listener and not always speaking.
Of course a man is a social animal. But how will you ever know your inner voice if you are always surrounded by noises?
The loudest things in life are the quietest, if we have the audacity to listen to them.
