Yes it has been a difficult time for you. We all screw up sometimes. A lot rather. If you think that once you gain a level of “enlightenment” you will never make a mistake, the fact is that if you are going to walk through life, you are going to make mistakes. So the journey is to forgive yourself before expecting it from the people you want it from.
Also, this past is going to pop up to you again and again. The journey is to be in the flow of your life in the midst of just the “is-ness” of the past and enjoy life.
Enjoy life my friend.
Pause for a second and think: “Why am I doing all this for?” If not for enjoying every task that you do then what???
Enjoy your life my friend. This is not a dress rehearsal. Only when you love yourself you will be able to love others. Never the other way round.