Went on a team offsite recently.
Posted good pictures. The world thought life was good.
Except, I had a major breakdown.
I had fits attack. Which did not happen anymore. The last time it happened somewhere in 2019, and before that in 2016. Nothing beyond that. But it is usually the result of tension, lack of sleep, and menstrual cycle combined.
I had all these + also had to reach a trek by 7:45 + also fulfill my work commitments that I had imposed on myself, that led me to having that attack.
I hardly remember anything. But that is the thing about it. It comes with days of sleep and more fatigue, sleepy feeling, and less desire to work on anything.
Plus, no one really cares. They just judge. Or appreciate.
But slowly bringing back life. I hope I will. I know I will.
Till then, I can safely plan on skipping Rakshabandhan because my brother is busy calling me bad because of my “good life”, hardly stopping to celebrate together or to know the inner life of it.