There is no straight route to that path, however, based on the distance, your work and their availability, you choose the best possible option, with the minimum time gap.
That minimum time gap could be 2 months, or 12.
But then, when you go back “home”, over the years, something has changed.
You feel anxious whenever you are “home”. You feel the need to be “happy and chripy” all of the time when you are “home”. You feel the need to always be available and not have your own space when you are “home”.
It almost seems like “home” isn’t home anymore. It was perhaps a structure made of bricks that allowed you to become capable enough to go find your own home outside of what you thought was your home.
That realisation doesn’t knock on the door, sadly. It quietly sneaks in through an open window when you were busy reading your book and quietly welcoming the dawn, when you realised how much of your new abode where you are so comfortable, is full of peace.
Peace that was never felt at “home”, but peace that feels home.
But you are a good kid. So you try making-up for things you didn’t do, by visiting “home” more often. Hoping your more than normal presence might lower the anxiety and performance pressure, and bring a tiny feeling of home. But if you often feel constipated only at “home”, it is not just a digestive issue.
Adulthood, perhaps, is about dealing with the loss of your “home”, learning to deal with the accusations of not returning “home” often; and still feeling peace like never before, in the tiny nest you now call home.
