Things don’t make us happy. They make our lives convenient.
A great car. A great office. A beautiful home. All of these are designed to make our lives convenient.
But none of these guarantee happiness. If money could buy happiness, rich would never be sad.
So, what gives us happiness?
The answer is: Living life on our own terms.
That is deeper than we think.
People with bungalows in prime locations are miserable, because they have decided that they are miserable. People with more fame than they had ever expected are miserable, because they cannot control their anger. People with everything they had thought would make them happy are unhappy, because they are still living someone else’s life.
Living your own life is a difficult thing, because the winner walks alone and misery loves company. If you are miserable, you will undoubtedly find 10 other miserable people to share your loneliness and drink with. If, on the other hand, you are working towards making your life more meaningful, more often than not, you are walking alone. But, you are happy in truest sense.
So, what do you do my friend, in order to be happy?
Ask yourself: If you are living the life you want?
If yes, congratulations. I am so proud of you.
If not, ask yourself: How can I live a life I want? Don’t just complain that at this age, this income, this place of life, all I can do is this. That’s victim talk. Everyone had hard times before they became diamonds. You have to be willing to go through the heat in order to transform from carbon to diamond.
It reminds me of a wonderful uncle aunty who are nice to me, sitting down to counsel me to get married. The sad part is, they themselves admitted, they are not happy but nonetheless they suggested me get married. The pattern is similar each time someone asks me to get married (though now it is just once a year): they are miserable in their marriage. Gosh, I have pity for them and lesson for myself: to not spend my time with them.
On the other hand, I have met so many happy couples who are enjoying their time with each other (and some married for decades, some for years), who never counsel me on getting married. Because they are happy. Thus, they know happiness is living your life on your own terms. None of which is a part of asking someone else to make a life changing decision “just because…”
So, my friend, here is the definition of happiness:
Living life on your own terms. Not making an attempt to change others.
Difficult? Try living the other way.
