You become your associations. Your life is a product of 5 people you spend most your time with.
So if you are working on your transformation and not getting it, think about changing your associations.
If you cannot, definitely read the books of heroic people who created the lives they were proud of. Listen to podcasts on your commutes to office, grocer, etc. Come what may, you simply cannot afford to put a single thought that tarnishes your happiness. Not possible.