I think about this a lot often.
Why do we get upset when we see someone else in pain?
Why do our eyes get moist looking at the tears of another brother?
Why do we feel helpless on not being able to help someone change their life?
Because somehow intuitively we all believe that being helpful in someone else’s pain means feeling that pain along with them.
Respectfully, I disagree.
Think of this from the PoV of our loved ones.
Think of someone you love dearly – whom you don’t care to prove anything to, who respects you for who they are, and most importantly – you don’t “have to” show up in the relationship, you love to show up for them.
And now, think of a time you missed them a lot.
It turns out, in the exact same moment, they were missing you as well!
Happened with all of us, right?
If that happens with good emotions, why won’t that happen with less-powerful emotions?
That is the power your emotions have, to influence others!
And sadly we give up that power in feeling low with them, thinking it would make them feel better!
If you really care for someone, you being in a stable state of mind will make them feel better.
If you really want to be there for someone, bless them well for what lies ahead of them, instead of stress them well, because they’re already stressed 🙂
If you really want to help someone fallen into a pit, the way is to lend a hand from outside the pit, not to fall along with them stating you were “being helpful.”
The best help comes with a stable state of mind, of radiating power instead of powerlessness.
That’s unpopular, but hand on heart, we also needed this kind of help when we were in pain, didn’t we? 🙂