I know you have been walked over.
People who have been the closest have become strangers.
People whom you trusted once are the ones you can never trust again. Ever.
All of these have caused a significant emotional loss to you. So much so that it ruined your positivity and joy for life, and left you screaming and wondering if human beings even cared without ulterior motives.
But I want to offer an alternative way to live life:
Believe that “people do care.”
The people you trusted once and you can’t trust again – they do care. Perhaps they do not have the emotional energy to love you back, but they do love themselves and others. Maybe things were not meant to be between you and them.
The people who walked over you despite you being faithful to them, maybe their well was not so huge to receive the love you poured onto them, so they drained it all out without being aware of the value of love they were receiving. And how it drained you out as well.
Even when you watch a terrorist movie or any movie where villain is on the quest to kill the hero, the villain cares. For a cause. For a lost loved one. For a love they never got. It may backfire on the hero for the moment, but if you peel the deepest layers of a villain, they do care, significantly.
When you use this formula for life, it liberates you.
You recognise that the person against whom you are rightly holding up so much angst, probably wasn’t capable of loving the way you loved. They were not wrong, just that they were incapable. Makes you more compassionate, less cruel, and certainly less hard on yourself.
What I have also figured is that when the people you most expected to care or love do not love you, love always returns to you in some other form. We may not have our eyes open to seeing it, but when we truly see the love we are surrounded by, the love we lost returns to us magnanimously, if only we are open to seeing it. (Franz Kafka said it about love returning, not your girl.)
And, about love, loss and dealing with love and loss, I hope you find this poetry to care for you.
