I know you have timelines to adhere to.
I understand things are not going nice in your family life.
I also know you are tired of pretending to believe that all is well and cool.
But none of these gave you the permission to consistently snap, be rude or act ruthlessly with people around you. If you cannot decide the right emotion (and that’s fine), request for some time. But your pain isn’t a power to someone else’s pointlessness.
The license to be quiet, to be reflective, to be asking for time…for sure.
The license to be rude? We don’t make them in the first place. How could we grant them then?