Tuesday morning, in the 10 am train from my hometown Kota to back home in Delhi, I bought the book “Things we never got over” on Kindle.
Kindle suggested an estimated reading time of 9 hours 55 minutes.
I finished the book by Wednesday EOD!
Thus, let’s dive deep into what I learnt from the book:
- Your goodness will bring you all sorts of problems. Still, never stop being a good person. Because who are you if you are not a good person?
- You can’t buy relationships with money. You must have conversations. Reminds me of Lori Gottlieb, where she says: Having a difficult conversation might ruin a relationship, but not having it will ruin it.
- What a kid needs is love and acceptance. Then she will come to you every time. You need to be her non-judgemental home base in order for them to make you their safest home-base.
- Everything we do sets a standard for the kids we are surrounded by.
- As a nice girl, for the longest time it has been the default for me to be nice to everyone. But Naomi, is nice; and at the same time, she also knows what she will not tolerate.
- Everyone who has things wrong in their lives also have something that is working out in their lives. Naomi was going through the toughest time ever, however, she still got an almost rent-free accommodation, a family, strangers who cared, and parents who were there for us.
- A girl’s father need not bark at the boy who let go of her. The way Naomi’s father spoke to Knox made me respect him so very much.
- No man, absolutely no man ever has the right to slap or hit a woman. Period. If he is in an absolutely wrenching relationship, he may choose to walk out. But he could never choose to go to the bottommost pit of laying your hands on a girl.
- The world is a reflection of who you are. Naomi got a world which was a reflection of who she was. Tina got a world like the person she was. So did Waylay, Knox, and every other character in the book.
- We are all driven by our traumas. This does not mean we accept our past traumas as our reality. However, it is up to us to dance with them, so they don’t come uninvited to our present and ruin it.
- Everyone is responsible for their own choices. You can try to be there for them, but if you are empty by the time you give them, how can you be there for them?
- Good friends are another way of telling you that you can find family outside of blood relatives as well.
- People are usually kind. In Hindi, there is a saying that says: “It is up to you, ki aap kisi ke andar ka Ram jagaate ho ya Ravan.” (Translated: It is up to you that you invoke the divine within them, or the devil.)
- Lastly, if I had read books like this or “It Ends with us” when I was a teen or in early 20s, I would have not made the mistakes I made. However, only good has come out of those mistakes, so no complains ever!
- PS: I recommend reading this book only if you are a stable human being is happy with themselves. Otherwise, the inspiration might strike at the wrong place.
