Nishtha Gehija

What’s important to you may not be important to someone else.

Take pride in your own company. But do not say to to anyone else’s as well.

Life is beautiful for those who are happy without any reason, and that is more than enough.

Make it a point to get out of your stress. That is what will make your life anything but a mess.

Just staying true to the process of blogging is so good. It makes you realise how you had only been hogging.

I am finding the bad in everything these days.

People are bad.

Their goodness is bad.

What they do is filled with bad intentions.

What they are doing to me is filled with trying to look good.

Honestly, I feel like I am done. I want to let go of everything. Every. Single. Thing. And don’t know what’s next. But live life in the confidence that things will be good. Because I am good.

But you know what, beneath what makes me feel bad is the truth of something that is truly not good. It is up to me to look up to that and create my life based on the truth that I am proud of.

That is it. That is it!

I am honestly least excited about my birthday.

Not really, though 🙂

Least excited, because left with no friends anyway 🙂

Excited and happy because, it is going to help me build a relationship with myself!!

But more than anything else, happy, because starting this birthday, I will be consistent with my blog – every single day. A blog a day. And also make up for the old ones.

I am usually not a fan of starting something big on big days, but Daniel Pink reminds that it is a good day to start off something meaningful on a day that is meaningful to you.

So let’s do it!! And hope to serve you more with my birthday 🙂

I feel lost even when I have found a lot.

I feel lost even when I am not supposed to.

I feel lost even when I am apparently in the mid of a lot.

Everyone and everything seems to be sorted. But it is not.

And here is what I want to tell you: That everything, EVERYTHING you see on the screen is not true. There are layers, there are fears, and there are deeper chairs we all sit on.

What we see is what someone chooses to show.

What we don’t see is where the reality is. It is that which our eyes need to see.

I want to write more.

I want to express more.

I want to have a friend that I don’t have, through writing more.

Writng is such a beautiful thing. It liberates you, it lets you express yourself in a manner that no one would understand. It makes you know who you are.

And even if no one understands you, you don’t care a dime and a dozen. You understand yourself. And nothing beyond that matters.

Everyone must write. Whether or not they are professional writers. Whether or not online or in a journal. Whether under their own name or a pseudo name.

But no one deserves to be in a prison of their mind whose only key is writing out their words.

Let your words out. So that peace can get in, my friend.

Went on a team offsite recently.

Posted good pictures. The world thought life was good.

Except, I had a major breakdown.

I had fits attack. Which did not happen anymore. The last time it happened somewhere in 2019, and before that in 2016. Nothing beyond that. But it is usually the result of tension, lack of sleep, and menstrual cycle combined.

I had all these + also had to reach a trek by 7:45 + also fulfill my work commitments that I had imposed on myself, that led me to having that attack.

I hardly remember anything. But that is the thing about it. It comes with days of sleep and more fatigue, sleepy feeling, and less desire to work on anything.

Plus, no one really cares. They just judge. Or appreciate.

But slowly bringing back life. I hope I will. I know I will.

Till then, I can safely plan on skipping Rakshabandhan because my brother is busy calling me bad because of my “good life”, hardly stopping to celebrate together or to know the inner life of it.

Instagram

Replying to emails immediately

Gossiping about someone else, because they were wrong according to us.

You can rarely become a writer when you want to become a writer.

You become a writer when you choose pain to make you write.

Letting yourself go and flow, is the way you become a writer.

Not all pain looks like a heartbreak.

Some of it comes as a disrupted schedule, sometimes as fights in relationships, and also sometimes as not wanting to talk to anyone.

Pain is choosing to see through what kills you, and kill it with self-care!

Every relationship will hit you hard.

Yes, even that relationship that you thought understands you.

Every human being will some day show you a version of themselves you hadn’t expected.

What do you do then?

You form a relationship with yourself. And you form a relationship with God.

With these two relationships in place, two things happen:

1. You detach from the good and the bad of every other relationship. Thus, you become the cheerleader of your relationship with yourself.
2. You understand that when you have you and your God with you, no one can absolutely touch you. Ever.

And that, is when you know, that no complex relationship can ever enter your simple relationship with you.

Could anything be better than this?

From not wasting time today from yesterday, I gotta sleep on time, which is 9:15pm (the time of writing the blog).

See you all tomorrow, thoda jaldi 🙂

PS: You are not tired when you do not create waste thoughts. Waste thougths create tiredness.

…that I wasted 2 hours today!

Which could have been used to walk, read, write and think.

Thus, writing this online, so that I do not do that again!

If you follow me on any of my social profiles, please drop a DM as a reminder to not waste anymore time. I’d be highly grateful! 🙂

Write what will make you win at the end of the day.

Do that first.

You will never have to work till late. For sure.

There is going to be no time when you have time.

So take your time to take an off, please 🙂

What causes us trauma?
An event that had a negative outcome.

Why do we still have that negativity in our head?
Because it makes us believe that we were useless.

Why does that belief hold so much importance for us?
Because someone we trusted made us feel that way.

So do you mean that trauma is caused by people you trust?
Yes. If it were from strangers, it would be called trolling. Not trauma.

Does this mean love precedes trauma?
Nope. Attachment precedes trauma.

Not love?
If you truly love yourself, nobody can ever shake you. If you truly know and love yourself.

Use your iPad only for meetings/Procreate.

Use your phone only for calls.

Set a separate browser for work and social media.

At places where you are supposed to lose control, be most controlled.

In case no one told you, you control your life.

Life comprises only of two things:

1. A good way to live life: Routine
2. A good way to be in life: Spirituality.

Everything else, is an extension of it.

1. By not asking them to work on the weekends
2. By not sending a voice note when you think they are not very receptive
3. Adding a message to the voice note, as well.

Off late, I have started feeling lonely. A lot.

A very close friend recently broke up with me. Without telling me. When I reached out, she did state the reason being something I did. But she broke up without telling me! Didn’t a friendship of 10 years deserve a closure? Perhaps even a fact that she felt bad because of something? She just left as it is… And when I suggested that even I felt bad because of a few things, she did agree to listen to those. But her response felt very cold. So I backed off.

But I do miss her. A lot. The “no-formality zone” of wishing each other on festivals, talking random things out of nowhere on WhatsApp, and most importantly, having someone to talk to when the world turned upside down, is what is missing.

But everything, almost everything always happens for good or better. And we will come out better from this – if we get back again. Or if we don’t.

1. You don’t cry unnecessarily. Everything is telling you something out loud. Listen to it.
2. The world goes along with what looks good. Ignore that and go for what feels good, will always make you feel good.
3. If something is too good to be true, it is.
4. Use your wisdom more than you use your ears and eyes. Not all that you see and hear is true.
5. Take a break. You’ll be better off from it.