If we want to talk about the pains we went through, the list is endless.
And I understand, the pains were and are very real.
If we want to talk about the high moments of our life, the list is still endless.
Of course, we did work really hard to get there.
However, these are the extreme sides of human existence. They are somewhat the result of our inability to control the end results.
So is there something that we can control?
Yes, our happiness.
Happiness doesn’t mean celebration in an unfortunate event. It however does mean that you will stay stable and calm come what may.
When we are going through that break up, we can be happy because there were a few good things that came out of that relationship.
When we’ve lost that loved one, yes it is difficult, but wherever they are right now, would they be happy seeing you, an apple of their eye, suffer like this?
When we are going through lives’ biggest setbacks, do we have any idea that our nightmare is someone else’s biggest dream come true?
Perspective is what makes the entire difference.
This doesn’t make your suffering little. But the people for whom you are suffering would love to see you happy. Be happy for them.
And always remember, your happiness isn’t a sign of you not loving them. Your happiness is a sign of you loving them despite they had to go to another journey…
I read somewhere that pain is just pain. Someone else’s intensity of pain doesn’t reduce your pain.
While most people may agree, I tend to disagree.
Someone else’s intensity of pain might be different from yours. And if we are unable to acknowledge that, it makes us more selfish and less empathetic.
If we are in pain and still can acknowledge someone else is in pain, we are truly a caring human being.
Do you get the same engagement on all your social media posts?
Do you feel the same emotions for your parents always?
Do you like having chocolate cake / pizza / (your favourite dish) for all meals of the day?
Do you like watching your favourite movie every single day?
Do you like going to the same place for vacation every year?
We want novelty. That’s where the brain’s sweet spot lies.
So when you don’t receive the same responses from people. They have their patterns, and places.
You’ll find yourself to be more peaceful when you live from that awareness.
The suffering you are going through is the creation of your brain.
I was suffering over something for a month, and this is what I realised today, just like with every other suffering 🙂
Have you heard Robert Frost’s poem: “Stopping by woods on a snowy evening?”
The last lines of the poem look like:
The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep…
A lot of your friends / foes (lol) would be using these lines.
This morning, as I was dealing with a challenge, a place where I particularly get best of my ideas. So, while writing a piece of content, here’s what I came up with:
The woods may not be lovely or dark or deep,
But you still have promises to keep (to yourself)
And nowhere to go (other than within) to have a peaceful sleep.
That’s scary. That’s hard. But standing for yourself is the best thing you could do to yourself, because how will you change the world if your own bones are fractured? How will you?
The process must feel good.
Everything else, will follow.
Recently, someone whom I trusted professionally betrayed my trust – of course, professionally.
Not for the first time. Rather for the nth time.
Then why am I still stuck?
When is the right time to leave?
Why don’t I teach them a lesson?
Honestly I don’t know. Because no coin is two-dimensional with two sides, every coin is a 3D art with multiple aspects. Not that I am not able to see clearly, rather I am waiting for the right time.
There are multiple virtues of being young and there is a vice of acting on impulse because you’re young. Never let the vice ruin your life forever. Thinking before acting is a superpower. Not acting for long is lack of trust in yourself. Finding that balance is what makes you irresistable.
Yesterday I wrote a post where I was really sad.
Today I came across a tweet that said if you be friends with your colleagues, you are most likely not going to get the work done.
That just hit hard!
Lesson of life:
Be friendly, however, never be friends with a colleague.
Be there for them, however, don’t share your vulnerabilities with them.
Be you, yet don’t be the deepest you.
Lesson learnt, move on baby! Cya tomorrow 🙂
Everyone on the internet is doing fine.
And looking wonderful in their stories.
Which, of course, is a great thing.
However, bring me a successful person and I will show you the number of times they failed. Success is a numbers game. Zero exceptions. You can, of course, inherit wealth however what you do after that – become Mukesh Ambani or Anil Ambani is up to you.
So when you think it is only you who is scared while everyone else is already writing their autobiographies, remember that scene from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. where Ross is broken and shattered seeing Rachel going, and he says in a hoarse queer voice, “I’m fine!” That’s exactly the voice of the internet is. Trust your process, look up to people for inspiration, however, never ever mistrust or doubt your hard work. Because, no one ever clicks a selfie while feeling sad sitting in their balcony. Everyone will put a happy selfie, that perhaps a fake one just to join the bandwagon of impressing the social media that they are also like them.
The one behind the gate doesn’t respond.
“I am You…”
The one behind the gate doesn’t respond again.
This time, no response comes from the other side.
That’s when, the one behind the gate opens it up.
I usually equate this story to the love for work.
Back in the day when I used to be unhappy in my corporate job, the most fulfilling moments were the ones when I got beyond “I hate my job” and did the work because it brought moments of joy.
Right now as I am a freelance writer, the discipline is still required despite I love this work the most. And the days I just work and let it flow, are the days that I enjoy the most, instead of pondering about “I have to be disciplined to write.”
“Work is God made real,” said Kahlil Gibran, in The Prophet.
Whenever we have gone beyond the realms of “someone else” and “me” and allowed the joy to emerge, is when we have felt most fulfilled.
Fulfillment isn’t a miracle that shows up. It’s something that shows up when we don’t allow our lower faculties to play the game.