That strange DM

Today I received a LinkedIn DM from an old school mate.

Nothing real, just very small talk to strike a conversation.

And I decided to ignore it.

Not because I had some expectations of him and he had shattered them.

Rather because how long?

How long will we keep basing our dopamine on random DMs from strangers?

How long will we keep wasting our time in pursuits that cumulatively waste days from our years?

How long will we allow someone else to decide when will we be available on social and they steer the conversation?

The best people live on the edge of saying no. That’s where everything happens.

To listen to “yes’s” saying hundreds of “no’s” is the most important thing. Sometimes even in a day.

Yes versus no

Yes. No.

Most people want the first answer to everything they do.

A few want the second one as well, especially in the absence of no response.

We all work in teams. Even if you are a solopreneur, you work with your clients, partners, etc.

And a great team is built by communication.

Here’s some of the best ways of communication:

  1. When you want to say yes: Say yes, and few more words to show your appreciation, such as: “Go ahead!”, “Good to go!” “Perfect!” What these words will do, is let them know that they are contributing meaningfully.
  2. When two or more people come together, they are bound to have different opinions, and we may want to say no as well. Here are some cardinal rules of saying no:
  • Never use the word “no”. Rather suggest, how it could be done.
  • Appreciate the parts that work. There is always something that works.
  • Always keep reinforcing the fact that the person is great, the work needs changes and then we are good to go.

Here’s the reason of this blog, and why practising this difficult exercise of “not saying no” even when the answer is no, is super important:

A. Most people are already suffering at an emotional level. Even if you think they aren’t, still they are. One more disapproval, is too big a thing for an already tired mind.

B. The goal of any business, any team, any work, is to make things better. If we are making things better and making people worse, we are simply accumulating opposite of blessings into our business. That karma, has to come back some day.

C. People want to know the response. Learn to say no gracefully instead of giving no response. No communication is the best miscommunication.