Just because a toxic person is nice once, doesn’t mean they aren’t toxic anymore.
Tag: people
Some unpopular opinions that are sadly true:
- Even the most intellectual person likes the coolest kids, even if they are dumb.
- We are so addicted to our problems that we actually create them!
- People love to help. If you keep disregarding their love, they don’t become cold blooded. YOU make them cold blooded.
- You don’t crave sugar. You crave the reward of feeling good.
- You speak the most through silence.
I don’t know if my work sitting in a remote silo is making difference in the world.
I have no idea if the people I care for actually care for me (so I could move on or continue lol)
But you know what…
Sometimes not knowing is super powerful.
Because it makes you do your own thing.
Doing your own thing without the influence of others, makes you more of your better self.
It is under that “better self” that you become stronger and okay with the fact that the world is not okay with you!
7 life lessons no one teaches you about succeeding at work:
- If you are taking up extra work, it goes without saying that it will not affect your existing work.
- You can be best friends. Or you can do your work without biases. You can’t do both.
- If no one has to follow up with you, you are gold.
- Keeping your commitments and sharing your work status – are the two things that will make you a star.
- It is not the hours of work you put in. It is the heart in those hours you put in – that makes the entire difference!
- When you start giving away credit, you stop craving for it in the first place.
- Read #4 again.
One of the things I’m proud of, is I keep giving updates of my work to my boss.
Without him asking.
Because he ought to know of stuff.
Yet, at the same time, he loves not following up.
So I share.
Because it is right.
On the other hand, I followed up with a team member who is running late with her work.
Sure, I am telling you so that “tu aaraam se reh sake”
What?
Is that not your work?
I just wish…
I just wish!
We all have variety of friends.
However, everyone has these common characteristics:
- They make you feel valued
- You don’t have to go beg for attention
- They care about loving you as much as they care about loving themselves, and vice versa
- You have clear communications, even fights
- You feel alive in their company, not left alone.
Just completed a trip with my team.
Few life lessons learnt:
- If being a friend interferes with your ability to become a leader, helps to be the leader first.
- Talk about others in your mind just like you talk to them about them.
- Learn to value loneliness.
- Before loving others, have you tried to love yourself?
- Only broken people break people.
Also, a note to 2-3 of my teammates whom I know I wasn’t 100% present with:
I’m sorry. I can do better. I love you, no matter how much or how little we spoke during this offsite.
Also, you are an amazing kid. Let no one else make you believe otherwise.
I tried high rope walking in the morning. Was veryyyy scared. Gave up. I wasn’t even ready to jump off the harness when I decided to give up. Was pushed.
Tried climbing the wall in the evening. Failed again.
But didn’t have even an iota of regret. It’s better to try and fail than to not try at all, I suppose.
Other than that, I really need to work on my looks. Looking way more untidy or it is lack of confidence due to so-called friends not being around.
So much of a normal day. Yet so much to learn.
Life is epic. With life lessons coming in.
Recently I happened to conduct the hiring process for a team member, starting from creating the form to making them run through several steps of hiring, and here are some life lessons I learnt:
1. People will reveal themselves if you just sit and listen.
2. Be real. I had fun while talking with them, did not ask weird interview questions, and more than anything else, made the conversation interesting for them by researching about them before the interview.
3. While you may come across many sad stories that you may want to give them the job even though they are not eligible, it’s best to not give them the job. Because it will set them up for failure anyway. Not the best thing to happen to them.
Recent life lessons from being a manager:
- When you do something that might come as offensive to the other person but in reality happens as a result of their neglect, sometimes mentioning the reason why you did it is important.
- People who are assets won’t give away their work (under pressure) even if you ask them to. The good way is to ask the one who is filling in for them, to take work from them. Always works!
- You may try your best to help a non-performing team member – by asking questions, suggesting them, presenting your PoVs. If they still don’t move, start taking actions and FYI-ing them. Not because you want to dominate them. NO! You’ve already tried your best. Rather because you do not want the work to suffer anymore, if the person responsible for it anyway can’t take ownership.
There is certainly ONE cool kid around you.
The one wearing a high attitude.
The one whose WhatsApp messages everyone responds to.
Here’s the truth about those cool kids:
- They are suffering a lot inside
- So they use that coolness to mask it
- And not treat others well
- And get to feel good about themselves
- And the cycle continues
Here’s what you should bear in mind, whenever you come across these cool kids in whose company you don’t feel welcome:
- Respect your own journey
- Move on
- Bless them
The ones who make others suffer, are the ones who are suffering hugely inside.
We both used to be friends once, to the extent that we used to ask each other “kya delete kiya”?
Things change, we change.
Even if we don’t want, we move on.
I wish I could give you a happy ending, but I myself don’t have any. Sorry 🙁
A startup founder reached out to me on LinkedIn, stating she was full of gratitude for what I did and how I was kind to her on her posts. She ended the DM requesting me to get on a call.
Bro, I am someone who has her phone notifications off since eternity, has never changed her phone ringtone since 2015 (when I first got my smartphone) and I am about to tell my boss that I will take only 2 interviews per day, because if I speak more than that, I will not feel energetic 🙂
So I responded to her, requesting to “strike the conversation” in the DMs itself, and told her the truth.
No response as yet. Anyway, the joy of saying no which you don’t want to do, is always unparallel! :))
- Bad things on the outside make you more productive.
- Being alone is such a superpower.
- Walking heals. Every single time.
- The vibes with which your food is cooked (Always radiating purity and power to food for 30 secs works like a charm).
- The people you follow on social media (Unfollow without notifying people is the best thing that could have happened.)
- The WA groups you are in (I delete WA group chats without even seeing them!)
Life lessons from being a manager:
- Your team will always be going through stuff – someone is in an airplane, someone is shifting, someone is occupied, someone will not respond, someone might be going through a break up – and asking them to work might make you feel apologetic. Why? Be the one who is there for them, helps them navigate life without excuses, and more than anything else – lets them shine in every area of life.
- Give away credit when you need it the most.
- Indulging in gossip groups with a subset of team is disastrous for the team. Not to mention, for you as well. Your team loves you, and you owe it to them to be unbiased.
- Taking time off for meditation and sleep isn’t luxury, it is a necessity.
- Karma yoga – where you say your affirmations and meditate for one minute – that is where all the magic happens. Doing it or not doing it will decide whether you are effective or impulsive.
- You may try your best on people and they may still choose to be angry at you, and then leave the company. If you have a pact of honesty with yourself, you need not feel bad. At all. People have their lives and they own their choices, not your mood.
- Chill baby, you have the Brahmastra – God. Everything else, will just fall in place.
There is a wonderful client of mine, whose business is making Ayurvedic drinks.
He once graciously sent me a huge pack of Ayurveda drinks, along with two packs of hot chocolate powder and gourmet coffee.
It turns out, everyone in my family loves hot chocolate powder more. Which comes from an Ayurveda drinks manufacturer. Ironies of life.
The other day, I was having that chocolate shake, while my Mom asked, “You’re still working with this client, right?”
I couldn’t stop laughing. Ironies of life – me who was having it once a month, and my Maa who doesn’t have it either – both trying to love the chocolate product of an Ayurveda manufacturer.
PS: Here’s a pic, of that chocolate shake. Enjoy 😊
Haven’t done a life lessons blog in quite some time, so here you go:
- You cannot enforce love. Not for people, not for work.
- Stay away from having calls during the afternoons. Sleep, baby!
- Stretching is as important as (if not more important than) working out.
- Sirsasana and sarvangasana are lit.
- Ghee khichdi with papad is the ultimate tummy-filler.
- Life becomes joyful when you are grateful.
- It takes years to get to a place of doing it in seconds.
Bless everyone (from the heart) who criticises you, or hurts you in the biggest form.
If they are being they, what stops you from being you?
Yes, it happened.
Not on my bedsheet.
Rather on the sheet of a meditation hall of a huge retreat center.
Yes, you read that right.
I had just had my dinner, and had gone to the meditation room to let go of what was in my head.
Little did I know I would let go of much more 🙂
Since I was menstruating, I thrust my kurta behind, before sitting on the floor – that had mattress covered with white sheet.
And when I got up, I left an imprint! A huge one!!
Surprisingly the kurta was stainless because it had been thrust back, it was through the leggings that the stain had escaped
Now I had two options:
I could tell myself: “Nishtha you have been menstruating more than half of your life, and you do not know even this basic thing of taking care?”
Or, I could get up and find for a solution.
I got up, and told the girl next to me (by disturbing her meditation) of what had happened, and she helped me out.
She suggested to keep my bag on one side of the stain, and she kept sitting on the other side. Meanwhile, she asked me to bring a wet handkerchief from my room to clean it.
I ran to my room. Changed. Got a handkerchief. Made it wet. Ran again.
Did the operation. Didn’t succeed.
Then she suggested, this time I keep sitting, and she will bring a bit of soap from her room.
In all this, the coordinator who was taking care of the premises started turning off the lights, and requested me to leave. I said I’m waiting for someone, and requested for ten more minutes.
He waited. Then said he has to come back early morning. So he insisted.
Then another girl next to me told him what the real problem was.
After which he became quiet, and waited.
Then came the face wash. And my handkerchief. With few drops of water from the girl who told the coordinator to wait.
And I rubbed and I rubbed. For ten full minutes. Post which it finally became clean.
Though the mattress was wet, but it wasn’t red anymore.
Lesson learnt: Take extra care going on, however, if you screw up, figure out solutions instead of screwing yourself up further.