- Bad things on the outside make you more productive.
- Being alone is such a superpower.
- Walking heals. Every single time.
Tag: happiness
About hiring:
- Don’t make a decision while getting drifted by emotions
- Send a regret email + feedback
- Care, but understand that you cannot hire everyone
- Sometimes wishing for the best for your team means saying a lot of no.
About trust:
- Take a lot of time to trust anyone who has broken your trust before.
- Tell this to them
- Even when you trust again, verify.
About negativity:
- Even if someone in the team is performing negatively, talking to others would NEVER solve it.
- If you can’t resist, write it down. But NEVER talk to anyone about it.
- What you think radiates before what you talk.
If I go back to Nishtha of 5 years back, I would be ambitious. having a list of goals, wanting to go to TED, 30 Under 30, and certainly a Maybach.
Right now, I’m enjoying the process.
I’m working super hard.
I love my work.
I take my breaks.
All of this is so fulfilling, that the need for validation just goes away. It just does.
And what is left with, is the feeling of letting go of the need of success.
The success that you feel, when you let go of the need of success, is true success!
Earlier this month my father completed 40 years of his shop.
He’s 67, and had already worked in multiple “jobs”, before “starting on his own”. Here’s a journey of his work, starting from age 6!
1. Worked for FREE in a bakery at the age of 6, used to get crushed powder of toasts as daily “stipend”
2. Worked at two general stores in later summer vacations at school.
He was so much into cleanliness that once the shop owner’s bag of cash fell off from a higher shelf!
Guess what, my father had such a repute of honesty that the shopkeeper never changed its place!
3. Worked at a readymade garments shop as he “grew up” 🙂
4. Worked at a crockery of a relative, created a huge repute and profit for them, however, later the relative had to sell it off due to financial crunch
5. Worked as a typist at the age of 18, at one of the reputed shops in our city
6. Got placed at a factory by his employer, where he almost died by sinking in a pit while riding his cycle back home, and “someone magically appeared from nowhere” and saved him! Yes, he and a friend went to search for cycle the next day and got it 🙂
7. He found refute that day at a nearby factory, which later hired him. That factory was JK Paper Mills. He was even hired by DCM, Waterworks, and all the factories but he was underage!
8. Along with working at JK, he opened his shop on 05 August 1981. Used to work there in the mornings and nights.
9. Quit his job in October 1982, while his kids were 3 and 4 respectively. Talk risk!!
10. When he started, his shop was in a narrow street. His Uncle, in 1983, suggested to buy one of the new shops coming up at the main road. He didn’t have the deposit money. The bakery shop owner, with whom my father used to work “for free”, lent him the advance deposit. Till date, our shop is exactly at the same place.
11. Not to mention, he also used to do “flipping” by getting socks, watches from Delhi and selling them in our home town in Kota. However, he felt he wasn’t playing it ethical by showing a low-quality item as shiny and that was unfair to customers’ money.
Last year, as I was freelancing, I had once suddenly lost a high-ticket client. One morning I was sitting in my room and thinking, I saw my father doing his prayer rituals as usual.
He was as tensionless, as free and as “let life come as it wants to” attitude on his face.
If 40 years of business could keep him tension free, I had no right to get tensed that day.
That day, my father gave me hope.
Today as I asked him this entire story, he gave me the power of resilience.
And every day, he gives me the power of love by getting apples / mangoes for me (instead of bakery stuff that both my parents love :D)
We are not the best of friends, but he accepts me when I’m doing a headstand in the middle of the room, and I accept him when he “turns on auto-download” of WhatsApp forwarded pics, and together, we all are imperfectly perfect!
Just as we should be 🙂
There is a wonderful client of mine, whose business is making Ayurvedic drinks.
He once graciously sent me a huge pack of Ayurveda drinks, along with two packs of hot chocolate powder and gourmet coffee.
It turns out, everyone in my family loves hot chocolate powder more. Which comes from an Ayurveda drinks manufacturer. Ironies of life.
The other day, I was having that chocolate shake, while my Mom asked, “You’re still working with this client, right?”
I couldn’t stop laughing. Ironies of life – me who was having it once a month, and my Maa who doesn’t have it either – both trying to love the chocolate product of an Ayurveda manufacturer.
PS: Here’s a pic, of that chocolate shake. Enjoy 😊
I drove 70KMs yesterday.
All the way to Manesar to my place.
Took 1.5 hours – typically less time, but it was good because the roads were empty, because of Sunday.
If we calculate the average speed, it is 45 KM per hour, as per this.
However, did I drive at that speed?
Not at all.
Rather, for most part of the journey, it was 80-100 KM per hour, due to national highway being empty.
It was rather the slow movement at some traffic signals, that brought down the overall speed.
We all know this. We’ve all experienced this. We are at a place of accepting this.
However, this is what makes life go average:
Small useless insignificant things done small number of times, come down to reduce the overall average of your phenomenal epic performance.
Our days, certainly, aren’t any different from those drives.
The question that might help us, is: Are we setting ourselves up for the 100KM per hour drive, or the 20 KM per hour, that brings the huge average down?
Haven’t done a life lessons blog in quite some time, so here you go:
- You cannot enforce love. Not for people, not for work.
- Stay away from having calls during the afternoons. Sleep, baby!
- Stretching is as important as (if not more important than) working out.
- Sirsasana and sarvangasana are lit.
- Ghee khichdi with papad is the ultimate tummy-filler.
- Life becomes joyful when you are grateful.
- It takes years to get to a place of doing it in seconds.
Believe it or not, the phone IS responsible for all the problems.
Believe it or not, work from home is causing issues at home and at work.
Believe it or not, we need to be more grateful, not more depressed.
Believe it or not, reading good books does solve all the problems.
Believe it or not, we need to make time for free time daily.
Believe it or not, it will only get better when we make it better.
Believe it or not, meditation, good videos and morning and night affirmations ARE magical.
Believe it or not, but in our hearts, we know that what we spoke above was the truth…
A few days back, a relative called up on my birthday.
After exchanging pleasantries, they said, “I have heard that you have gotten very slim.”
“Yes, you have heard the truth,” I laughed that off.
“No, but very, very slim I mean,” they shot back.
I used my fun tone again, and asked, “But you would be still commenting on my looks even if I gained a lot of weight!”
“O, even that’s the truth!”
The truth is, no matter what you do, someone will figure a way to raise a question.
If you are kind, someone will ask you to be stern.
If you are stern, someone would want you to calm down.
If you are formal, someone would want you to be more casual.
If you include casual conversations, someone would want you to stick to the point in official meetings.
There are always going to be people raising a question on you.
The question is:
What is YOUR truth?
What do you want to do?
How much weight you want to gain/lose?
How do you want to set up your relationships?
Do you value kindness more than anything else?
And when you know what YOU want, here’s a repetition for the nth time:
It DOES NOT matter what others say.
Some good friends figure out a way to chill.
Most others figure out a way to negatively thrill.
Focus on the former, and life will never be still 🙂
PS: I don’t talk to my relatives per se, but this time I had to, because of my birthday :)))
Think of a team of 20 people.
All are doing their work.
Some are rockstars, some are just getting along.
But you see the management treating everyone at par.
When you are a rockstar, this might irk you.
Someone else who is not performing is also being treated as well.
But…there comes a time, when things get levelled up.
We’ve all experienced this before.
The question is: What are we experiencing even when we are doing our best work? Envy or happiness?
Currently, I’m a part of two paid cohorts:
- June Sweat Challenge (on Instagram by Kanav Vohra)
- Power Writing (by Shaan V Puri)
Do you know what is the surprising part?
They share NOTHING new, everything is already there as a free information on the internet.
Do you know what is the more surprising part?
- I have been getting wonderful results with both
- The Instagram and Slack communities are wonderful
- We get to experience the fire of burning and the joy of learning together. That makes it priceless.
- Not to mention, the time of an expert + the years of wisdom from them makes everything so worth getting into the room
- When you pay for something, no matter how little or how big, you get yourself into a commitment – and that is the best thing that keeps you moving!
PS: Of these, the Writing course is employer sponsored 🙂
Up-skilling not only takes you out of your comfort zone, it makes sure you create new comfort zones for yourself. And then rinse and repeat.
It was June 2011 when my friend dragged me to a seminar after college.
It was “Aadarsh Amdavad”, a 15-day self-help workshop, that consisted of:
- Daily 2 hour sessions by an acclaimed speaker
- Had a spectrum of audience instead of a narrow group
- It did not want us to “get better”, but the way it was designed, ended up making us better.
After that fortnight of daily wisdom, I felt a surge of happiness that I didn’t want to let go of.
So I started walking to Crossword Book Stores near my college, after the workshop got over.
For hours, I would just sit there and read, not knowing I was getting into an affair it would be impossible to get out of.
For hours, I would not care about anything in the outside world, just me and the books.
For hours, daily, it was a retreat from everything else in the world!
That love affair has lead to a lifetime partnership with books now.
More than anything else, keeping myself lost in that world has lead me to find myself, over and over again, peel by peel, page by page.
Here’s to a decade of that relationship 🙂
Here’s to a relationship that is with you ALWAYS…
Here’s to a lifetime of companionship!!!
Think of a scene in a household.
A millennial / GenZ is working on their laptop.
Mom is working on her things.
They are not talking. Not out of anger. Just because they’re chill.
Now imagine this.
Today, the Mom has gone to her Mom’s place.
Dad is at home because of evening curfew.
All of a sudden he feels alone.
Because guess what? The millennial kid is still working, nothing changed.
All of a sudden Dad felt he and his presumed “importance” were not catered to.
We do this so often, so much, that we even forget we do this.
What? The need to make men not feel alone.
That’s why shy girls speak more when around men. Just to comfort them.
Or daughters try to please Dads. Just because of this subconscious need to not make him feel alone.
Or why overriding a man’s instructions in office has to be supported with reasons.
If there is one thing women must not do, is this: Try to please men. It is so so so deep-rooted that we think it is our love for them, however, it is in reality rooting to that nature of not letting silence do the talking.
For females – in formal and personal relationships, we do a lot of talking through silence.
For males – in all relationships, you do not need to do the talking.
Just be. Who you are. In every relationship. Irrespective of the gender of the person you’re speaking to.
Mark Manson asked a question on Twitter today: List three things you wish you understood 10 years ago.
Here’s my response:
1. To say no in a potential relationship, where you know it ain’t going to work, is power.
2. Invest in equity.
3. Build a community.
PS: I was already working out, meditating, reading books and eating right at that point. So missed out these basics 🙂
Today I attended a wonderful master class by Nir Eyal, author of the book Indistractable.
Some wonderful things he said:
1. Schedule everything – learning, work, leisure, family time, sleeping time, free time social media and even OTG!
2. To-Do lists should be done away with, because no one accomplishes all of those daily.
3. Instead, do whatever you had desired to accomplish during that time. That is powerful! You’ll then end up achieving MORE than your To-Do list.
4. Life is NOT about getting things done. Rather spend 30-45 minutes daily, thinking.
5. And last resort, make an identity pact: Is what you are doing aligned with who you are?
Very very thoughtful! This master class is definitely going to be a masterpiece.
People reach out on social media to get work done. Quite normal.
But I don’t do this kinda work 🙂
Some of the reactions of my team members:
1. I have a nibha. I can assist you in writing 🤣🤣🤣
2. I have some unsent letters, lemme know if you want to use them. Doing a giveaway 🙂
3. O boy, ye bhi outsource hota hai?
And many 🤣🤣🤣 emojis.
Have you ever done something weird like this?
To be a boss lady, you do not have to become the boss of the team. You just have to be the boss of your life.
Lemme show that to you with an example:
If you observe closely, in Pic 1 I am having a fake smile versus I’m just being a natural in Pic 2.
Why so? Because that day I was going to do something that I should have said no to. So I was not in my best frame of mind. It is from 2018.
In pic 2, from March 2021, I’m just myself all the time. Being happy, saying no to things that don’t matter, and more than anything else, being the boss of my life.
So, if you want to be the Boss Lady, just live your life on your own terms. And not to impress anyone.
1. Life’s good. Enjoying work. And non-work.
2. Tried buying an iPad from Apple site, no deliveries as of now. Beta, thode din aur 🙂
3. Mom will make ice cream tomorrow. Since I cannot eat anything beyond dal rice roti subzi (i.e., no chhole, rajma, curry, mathri, etc.,) due to surgery, we came to a softer, easily digestible option.
4. Looking at the quantum of work I do, should I start charging more? Nope. I’ll manifest it. And let people pay me more out of will.
5. A prospect who converted has a problem understanding whatever I write on emails / messages. So then we have to get on a call. The entire process wastes a lot of time for me. Thinking of saying no to them tomorrow. Time is money. Not that I have communication issues. Rest all work perfectly well with messages / emails and once a week / fortnight calls.
6. Waiting to tell the new job info to my team at the right time 🙂
7. Gotta respond to the diligent guy who worked on the website. Been long.
8. Content, content, quiz, class, posting, uploading – six huge tasks for tomorrow. Gonna be fun.
9. Also gotta file the claim for hospitalisation. Saturday.
10. Did I tell you, idli still tastes good, despite having it a lot of times post surgery?
That’s it folks, stay safe and keep rocking 🤘🏻
Last year, I resigned from my job in March 2020, got relieved in June 2020.
Started freelancing then. Learnt multiple ways of sourcing new clients. Did wonderful work. Made a bit less than my salary but absolutely loved every day of the last one year.
After all this hustle, this April I got myself to a place where I was making more than my last drawn salary. And lo and behold, I got a job offer (that begins on 1st June) for a job I love.
So I said no to some of the prospective clients, said yes to working with some of those along with working full time on the job. And I guess we will 2X my last drawn salary at the start of the new job, leaving how things take us further to the future.
So, it is easy to demotivate myself by saying “I was jobless for a year”. Well, this is how society has conditioned us to believe.
Except, the truth is:
1. I finally had the courage to pursue my passion of writing, by giving up the stability of a full time job.
2. That taught me sales, negotiation and persuasion skills, along with polishing my skill set as a writer.
3. I was able to try an internship in content creation, among other things, that finally lead me to having a full-time job as Content Manager with one of the top brands of India.
4. I was responsible and accountable for my time.
5. I was finally not killing myself daily.
Thus, I was (and still am) living a life of choice. A privilege a lot of us have however very few of us have the courage to live by it.
The best part? For the first time in life I’m going for a job for which there is no degree on my resume, just a skill set and an experience to prove its mettle. Isn’t that amazing? 🤩
When riches come, they come in so much abundance that you would keep wondering where they had been hiding for so long – Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich.
However, richness is a state of mind. When you know you are rich, nothing can stop you. When you have accepted you are poor, no one can stop you either.
That said, why do we believe we are poor?
Because that is what we have been inculated since childhood.
Because we have been taught that money is evil.
Because we think money makes you bad.
PS: I am talking about all forms of wealth, not just cash.
Here is the thing: When we have more of anything, it just makes us a magnified version of who we are.
And who we are, is a choice we make every single day.
So, what is the choice we’re making today?