The only problem with our problems

The only problem with our problems is we think we shouldn’t have them.
We, thus, go about hiding them from others.
In so doing, we aren’t doing well either – neither at work nor outside of work.

What’s the solution, then?

The solution is to tell those around you, that you are going through some problems, that might not make you your 100%.
If we don’t tell them and try to do whatever we can, “whatever we can” becomes our default standard.

This is not who we are.
And living life as someone else, helps no one else.

Believe it or not…

Believe it or not, the phone IS responsible for all the problems.

Believe it or not, work from home is causing issues at home and at work.

Believe it or not, we need to be more grateful, not more depressed.

Believe it or not, reading good books does solve all the problems.

Believe it or not, we need to make time for free time daily.

Believe it or not, it will only get better when we make it better.

Believe it or not, meditation, good videos and morning and night affirmations ARE magical.

Believe it or not, but in our hearts, we know that what we spoke above was the truth…

The art of asking

The best way to ask for a busy person’s time is NOT by asking them when they’re free.

They value their free time more than their “busy time” and would protect it at all costs.

A more effective way is: To ask how they can help, where the response most likely would be a one-liner.

If you convince them to care, they will dig out the time when they are “busy.”

10 years ago

Mark Manson asked a question on Twitter today: List three things you wish you understood 10 years ago.

Here’s my response:

1. To say no in a potential relationship, where you know it ain’t going to work, is power.

2. Invest in equity.

3. Build a community.

PS: I was already working out, meditating, reading books and eating right at that point. So missed out these basics 🙂

Chemical reactions in the body

The body – how it responds to chemical reactions is very very weird.

A few days back I mentioned how I bingewatched Dill Mill Gayye on a weekend.
The TV show, in many ways, was an inspiration for the people of my generation.
The cute people, the pure love, the sparks flying at workplace – everything.

Until I spent some time alone for so many years, getting to know the reality.

This morning I was reminded of one instance from the show – where the male protagonist goes on with a friend and feigns as her husband in front of her family, so that her family members stop pressing her for marriage. He does all this without informing the female protagonist, with whom he is deeply in love with.

Today, just by remembering that instance, I was sent into a state of feeling like crying, as to how this could happen.

Of course, a lot of this relates to the past mistakes I made.

Which brings me to the question – do we really forgive people or does our body remember everything?

If the body remembers it, it is up to the mind to practice focussed forgiveness – for a long, long period of time. Even when it is not asked for. Not for the other person. So that we go beyond our limitations that didn’t even exist.

Don’t we owe this to ourselves?

Five fave one-liners

  1. We are our strongest when we listen to our inner voice more than what our idols say.
  2. The only birthday preparation introverts make is turn on phone notifications the day before.
  3. The doers have one core value: They never talk much about their future plans. They just let their work do the talking.
  4. When someone asks you: “How you did it?” and you stumble for a bit instead of showing, “This is how…”, you’re truly humble.
  5. Do it even if your parents disagree. They will disagree to things they themselves said once. Why not actually go live your life? (PS: Disagreement does not mean being disrespectful.)

Boss Lady

To be a boss lady, you do not have to become the boss of the team. You just have to be the boss of your life.

Lemme show that to you with an example:

Pic 1
Pic 2

If you observe closely, in Pic 1 I am having a fake smile versus I’m just being a natural in Pic 2.

Why so? Because that day I was going to do something that I should have said no to. So I was not in my best frame of mind. It is from 2018.

In pic 2, from March 2021, I’m just myself all the time. Being happy, saying no to things that don’t matter, and more than anything else, being the boss of my life.

So, if you want to be the Boss Lady, just live your life on your own terms. And not to impress anyone.

Tested negative?

Yes, it is the most positive word of 2020 and 2021, given the situations we are in.

However, what happens if a report is positive?

Do we dread death? Or are we scared if our family would be affected? Or do our deepest fears pop up?

The big wrong is not with the Covid. The big thing we have to deal with is not having to be alone. And that’s scary.

What would happen next?

The ones who have this question are the ones who do not control one thing that they can – habits!

If you are learning relentlessly, if you are meditating daily, if you are doing the hard work of letting go, you can never get to have this question.
Read the last line again.

Pre-weekend lessons of life

  1. Everyone is right. Even if we think otherwise.
  2. So are you. Even if you think otherwise.
  3. In case of an emotional outburst, spend time with a good book.
  4. You become whom you spend time with on Instagram. Choose that wisely 🙂
  5. The world is feeding you a template each day. What you do in your capacity to be a rebel defines who you are.

I’ve visited 47 cities so far!

The other day I was counting the number of cities I’ve visited, and the number came out to be an impressive one, largely due to my former two jobs being in audit. Here’s a list (in almost chronological order), just for your fun and for my records 😀

  1. Kota (Hometown – born and brought up)
  2. Baran
  3. Jaipur
  4. Ahmedabad
  5. Mahudi
  6. Delhi NCR (includes Noida, Faridabad, Gurgaon, and Ghaziabad)
  7. Mumbai
  8. Ludhiana
  9. Lucknow
  10. Amritsar
  11. Jalandhar
  12. Chandigarh
  13. Patiala
  14. Varanasi
  15. Allahabad
  16. Ambala
  17. Dehradun
  18. Phagwara
  19. Kanpur
  20. Kasauli
  21. Jodhpur
  22. Bundi
  23. Kishangarh
  24. Bangalore
  25. Bikaner
  26. Bathinda
  27. Bagdogra
  28. Gangtok
  29. Goa
  30. Rudrapur
  31. Haridwar
  32. Agra
  33. Meerut
  34. Mathura
  35. Roorkee
  36. Ganganagar
  37. Mount Abu
  38. Abu Road
  39. Rishikesh
  40. Chennai
  41. Pondicherry
  42. Dharamshala
  43. Udaipur
  44. Kochi
  45. Mukteshwar (Sitla Estate)
  46. Dubai
  47. Abu Dhabi

That’s it folks, so far! Not bad 🙂
Will keep editing the list and also add the dates of the edits. This one is being written on 19th Feb 2021, let’s see where the destiny drives us further. No matter where we go, let’s stay within!

Edit 1: 26th November 2024

Edit 2: 23rd January 2026

Five facts of fulfilled life

  1. All the success we see on the outside is achieved in isolation.
  2. The life today is just perfect, as it should be.
  3. Anger from people won’t change anything for you.
  4. Less words a person speaks, more successful they truly are. Period.
  5. It’s not that bad !

PS: This is What YOU Are Looking For!

Nana’s anniversary

Feb is the month when Nana passed away. Precisely 18th Feb, 2014.

I loved him dearly. But don’t feel a vacuum. That is the best thing about true love.

Love makes you stronger and more loving in their presence, not weaker and hateful.

If we turn latter in a loved one’s presence, we perhaps never loved the one we lost. We were simply being selfish in the process of loving them.

It’s great that you’re not a laptop

My laptop turned ten this January. (Lol, looks like I’m talking about my kid. Haha, except that it is not my kid, I’ve just typed so much that it is just my therapist taking all the mental health issues outta me 😀 )

So, coming to the laptop.
It’s slow.
Can’t work on videos.
Since my work is primarily writing, we are still in a relationship.
But it takes time to download from and upload to the drive.
With too many tabs open, may even occassionally hang.
But it’s trying its best.

Here’s a fact: This laptop is a laptop. Which means it does not have a replaceable CPU. Which means it can only be replaced for a new one.

But here’s a bigger fact: You are not a laptop.
Your brain is not fixed.
You can change it.

Your body replaces itself almost every year.
You can change your body.

Your lifestyle isn’t fixed, no matter how trapped you are.
Your tiniest of changes can make the biggest of differences.

You are not a laptop.
Don’t live your life like one.

Weekend lessons

Some quick lessons I learnt this week:

  1. Change is the only law of life. Don’t go by what someone said a month or six months ago. If they are positive, they’ll encourage you evolving. If they aren’t, then you don’t need to bother 🙂
  2. You will be judged, even when you have your finest intentions. The best thing you could do is still have those finest intentions because that is who you are!
  3. Being the bigger person and not taking credit for that is superpower!
  4. Just because everyone else in the team is submitting work late, don’t lower your standards and be the latecomer. Always be a day in advance. Your brand is built by what you do every day.
  5. Everyone is trying their best. Just because their best doesn’t match with your standards of worst, they need support. Not internal trolling from you.
  6. Twitter is the best way to improvise on your writing.
  7. Spending less time on WhatsApp and Instagram is the secret sauce to eternal happiness.
  8. Evening walks in the sun are therapeutic.
  9. People want the best for you, trust them! If they don’t, trust yourself!
  10. People will behave kiddish. Most don’t want to see that. So smile at them for who they are. And move on.
  11. Most of the times what we are crying for is NOT even happening! The best way to solve problems is through communication.
  12. Learning is the licence to happiness.
  13. You matter!

I have finally arrived 😂

I have been creating content for more than five years now.

It was only yesterday that I realised that I have finally arrived. I wrote a post on LinkedIn that said:

“Changing WhatsApp DPs often is a sign of an unstable mind.”

Lo and behold, what trolling comments I got yesterday! My first troll series 🙂

And the best part is, there were bigger number of likes for that post. That is the nature of goodness. It is always in bigger numbers, just that it doesn’t need any evidence to back itself off.

On that note, if you don’t feel offended, let me ask you: How often do you change your WhatsApp DPS?

To those who have failed in CA exams…

19th January 2015.
The day I became a Chartered Accountant.
I still vividly remember the day.

We had just returned to Kota (my hometown) after an overnight train trip from Mumbai, after attending a family function there for three days. So the winter was a harsh reality from the pleasant zero winter of Mumbai to being back to Kota. Because of this train journey, I had taken a shower quite late, around 10-11 am.

The moment I came out, I saw a miss call from a fellow article at the firm I did my articleship from.

Oops, my heart started pounding.

As I called him back, he picked up the call and asked: “Kya hua?”

“Result aa gaya?” was my surprised response, to which he said yes.

My mom had gone to take shower and I was virtually alone at home. So I opened up the laptop, connected it to the slow BSNL router we had and checked the result.

452 out of 800, result: PASS. (*Top 100 scorers in India then)

Wow!

The day I will never forget!

Throughout the day I did not feel cold at all despite returning from Mumbai back to shivering winters of Kota. It was in the evening that I finally realised I should be feeling cold 🙂

My mom came out of shower and started crying a lot. A lot. She basically missed my Nanaji for whom I was a source of pride and who had passed away eleven months back. The day was something me and my parents had been waiting for, for years!

But this is the success story. That I cleared CA Final (both groups together) in the first attempt that too with very good marks.

Here is the back story: I failed in IPCC twice. As on date, given the number of failures we get to face, this doesn’t seem huge.
Back then it was. Especially for a class topper like me since childhood, who ended up with this major jolt for the first time in my life.

You know what, my Mom cried then as well, for how could such a thing happen to me? (Yes now I know that I was responsible, but I just couldn’t convince her to see that part. Maybe I didn’t want to see that either!)

But I did clear the IPCC exam eventually. One group at a time.

That is the word you need to remember my fellow CA students: eventually.

The world isn’t going to be smooth even if you clear all three stages in the first attempt with AIR 1. It’s true that social media is not going to have your pictures when you fail.
It’s true that your neighbours will probably stare at you when you’ll leave home for coaching classes.
It’s perhaps true that a friend who was not expected to clear is a CA today and you aren’t!

All this is real pain.
And it hurts, especially if you worked hard.

But there is one more thing that is real: Your grit. Your persistence. Your belief in your capability that no matter what, you will end up with the prefix CA before your name eventually.

Feel sad as hard as you want to. Clean your nose with your sweater that your friend likes who is a CA now. Look at yourself in the mirror and just be, it’s okay!

But when you are done, don’t waste a minute pondering about what was and what could be. Just focus on what you are going to do next.

Winning in life is less about numbers and more about your attitude.

For example, I’m not a cunning person and because of that I sometimes get walked over (sometimes by my hashtag friends), and that feels very bad. But then I tell myself that my systems and ethics are powerful, so I needn’t be scared. NEVER ever has been a place in my life that because of not being cunning, rather being a simple human being, I hadn’t won eventually. Things always turn out to be in the favour of the person who works hard with the rights systems and the right mindsets.

And if you are worried about number of attempts, yes I did get a bonus of 1L INR extra back in 2015-16 because of being a first attempt passout. But today, 5-6 years down the line, almost everyone is earning in the same income range. Time is a great leveller and a wonderful thing to forget.

So keep up your spirits high my fellow CA students, it is only a matter of time that you will become a member of the reputed ICAI. Till then, focus on building systems and attitudes that eventually and undoubtedly lead to success, instead of letting things happen.

PS: In case you are wondering if I used some systems while preparing for CA Final exams after failing in IPCC twice, of course I did! I won’t blabber them here because the purpose of this blog is not to show you how, the purpose is to show you what. If you need help with systems and processes while preparing for CA exams, drop me a note at ngehija454@gmail.com and I’d be happy to help you out.

PPS: It will happen, eventually!

Categorically not right!

Some things are NEVER right, no matter what. Here’s some of them:

  1. Being cunning, instead of being truthful.
  2. Applying your sales skills to relationships instead of being vulnerable.
  3. Changing your word.
  4. Doing something which your kids/parents won’t be proud of.
  5. Not treating yourself with the same respect as we treat others.

Comma, Full stop or question mark?

When we use a comma, the latter part of the sentence elaborates the former.

In case of an exclamation, there is surprise.

In case of question mark, there is dissatisfaction.

A full stop is the fullest way of expression. Whatever has happened, has happened. Be easy and bring a full stop to it. (Because other ways of comma, exclamation and question mark never generated a response anyway.)

Why not try a full stop now?

Try a full stop.