About having opinions

It may so happen that a well wisher has a totally different opinion about your life than what you have.

The thing is if you stand by yourself and you believe in your idea and you believe in the fact that you have explored all possible options and then taken this step because you’re proud of it, then my friends please do not get carried away by someone else’s opinion.

Your life has to be lived by you.

Your standards of happiness are something you should stand for, instead of expecting someone else to create those standards of happiness in themselves so that you could live by them.

That is a very very dangerous place to be.

What’s the goal?

The goal is to be so internally fulfilled that even though you may have time, you don’t want to scroll Instagram.

The goal is to respect your introversion and work in a team simultaneously.

The goal is to look at what’s working in others versus where they lack, as this is what a loved one does (with some occasional nudges here and there).

The goal is to have an understanding. The understanding that fortunately comes from within and through reflection, not external factors including OTT or social media.

Something like this

Going through this.

Saw it on James Clear’s newsletter, replicating it for you:

Bill Watterson, the cartoonist and creator of Calvin and Hobbes, on the difference between ambition and happiness: 

“…having an enviable career is one thing, and being a happy person is another.

Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement.

In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it’s to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success.

Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake.

A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential-as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth.

You’ll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you’re doing.

There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you’ll hear about them. To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.”

The Perfect Day

If you don’t like working on PPTs, are you doing something along with it that you love?

It’s okay to feel sleepy when you’re not rested, are you making best use of you time when you are well rested?

If your parents did not give you a perfect childhood, are you giving them a perfect older age life?

It’s okay if you want to change how the current world looks like, question is are you starting with yourself? Daily?

No one was offered a perfect world on the day they were born.

Everyone, was offered an opportunity, to leave the world a little better in the un-defined number of years they were given. If you, like the rest of us, do not know the date of your death, today would be a great day to start.

What do you get affected by?

The things that affect you, are the things that control you.

The things that control you, are the things that decide your course of action.

The things that decide your course of action, should be something that needs approval from your happiness.

Now, think and decide: what’s something that’s affecting you right now?

Are you happy with it?

If not, why are you allowing it to affect it?

Family-Holi! 🙃

It’s a festival in India – Holi. It means a lot of us who work in metro cities are at home celebrating the festival with our families.

I had read somewhere once, “if you think you’re enlightened, try spending a week with your family.”

When we are going to spend time with our families, it’s going to be

– a conflict of opinion

– a need to gain validation from them no matter how much we know we aren’t going to get it

– most importantly, the need to get up and get indulged in our phones.

Avoid all of these, not only 1 and 3. All three.

You’ll be happier.

And leave your family happier.

Happy Holi folks!

The right to win

Let’s say you and a friend happen to make different decisions on a subject.

Further, let’s say that their actions happened to be something that caused you a momentary harm.

You now have all the rights to get angry, upset and also tell them that it’s because of “them” that you are hurt.

Or, there’s another option:

• To understand that they had their best intentions in mind.

• To accept that you have also made mistakes in the past.

• Most importantly, to remember that love is the most powerful emotion. More than being right.

When someone else makes a mistake next time, remember to love, because you are made up of love. Pure love.

Let’s get candid!

Two of my friends, who are in their fifties, were sharing stories about their respective sons, who happen to be in their early twenties.

One friend, who sends money to his son every month, who is studying in the US, told that one day all of a sudden, his son asked for more money this month.

When asked about whether all was good, the son replied that he had a girlfriend and needed some money.

Few weeks later, when this son was back in India with his parents for a vacation, received a text from this girl. She breaks up, saying we are not right for each other. The son replies in assent, and also tells this to his parents.

The other friend, was telling the story of a day when her son had left strawberries at home before leaving for the day. She was quite worried as a mother as to what would the son do if he were hungry during the day.

Later during the day, the son texted a pic of him eating strawberries, that he had asked his girlfriend to bring along. He was calming her down, with the reassurance that he was being taken care of.

Both these instances left me thinking deeply.

To be candid for the first time in public, I was waiting for “him” to send that message to me that we are breaking off, yet never received one. Nor a call back.

That’s not the worst part. Worst part is, I was at home, with my parents, already suffering and unable to share my grief with them.

Because had I shared it with them, they would have either gotten super angry with me for “being in a relationship” or perhaps they would have told me to “forget him”.

Neither of those would’ve helped.

It was so easy for that son to tell his parents that his girlfriend had broken up. I wish it were equally easy for all of us, we would have had way lesser cases of depression and anxiety.

Love and acceptance is the only solution. Especially when they least deserve it.

I have no idea!

If you have ever been in a place where you’ve had no idea about what’s going on, consider the following:

• Are you allowing others to create your ideas?

• Are you making choices to impress others and yet hate the choices you’ve made?

• Are you eating more than what you should?

If you really want to move ahead in life, be your own teacher and correct yourself.

No one else is coming for your rescue. You already have the idea, you’re just ignoring it under the darkness of…you know under whose darkness.

Anxiety

Anxiety is tricky.

The game is to make yourself never have anxiety.

The game is to play the game in the first place.

The game is to bring your best game.

The game of life is to be so busy that anxiety does not get to enter you.

The game is to be easy while being so busy that you know you are above all the situations life could offer you.

The game is to trick the game of anxiety, by being resilient when you don’t need it in the first place.

Giving up art

Have you ever felt like giving up on your art because it’s not doing well?

If yes, you were never in love with it in the first place, it was simply a time pass.

Hold on to true love with your art my friend, it will stay with you when all human beings have left.

Do we know that we don’t know?

Five seconds.

Just five seconds.

Just five seconds before he would have known that it’s going to be over.

What would have crossed Kobe Bryant’s mind when that did happen?

Perhaps a feeling of satisfaction and happiness for living a life he was proud of.

Perhaps the fact that he should have said “I love you” more often to people who mattered the most.

Perhaps the tragedy to see his daughter die along with him.

Perhaps none of these.

Whatever that may be, none of us know the time till when we are here.

Neither the one with the most money, nor the one who knows the most influential people.

All of us are cut from the same cloth of anonymity.

That’s what makes this life worth understanding and living.

Understanding and living.

Not postponing. No more “my time will come”, rather, my time is already here.

Right now. Otherwise, literally, never.

Why most people don’t meditate

When we sit to meditate, we sit for having an appointment with our own thoughts.

It means the thoughts where we felt abandoned, hurt, egoistic, irrational, powerless, etc. all come to the surface.

That’s why most people don’t sit down to meditate.

And that is the reason you must sit down to meditate. Meditate means “tapasya” in Hindi, which in turn means “to burn”.

Burn all your weak habits and attitudes that aren’t serving you my friend.

And if that’s something you want to live with, don’t meditate.

Someone else’s mistake

Sometimes it is the mistake of others.

Sometimes someone else’s mistake may cost you a lot of years or maybe even your career.

Sometimes a whole lifetime is not enough to rectify what others did.

The question is,

“How are you going to live the rest of your life?”

If blaming them could help, it would have already helped you out.

If blaming them couldn’t help, let’s think of a different story.

Starting today.

Success and happiness

My cousin forwarded a video about success and happiness, from a very well known person.

There was this closing line about it, that particularly stuck my head (greatly designed in that way, though 😊). It said:

“You can be successful doing what others want you to do, you can be happy only when you do what you want to do.”

The second part is cool, happiness does multiply manifold when you are in love with your work.

Although, how can there be success when there is no happiness?

There can be cash and credibility and fame and fortune with that, yet how can that ever equate with success if you go home every night feeling shattered from within?

That’s NOT success.

Here’s the solution instead:

1. Change your definition of success as the ability to do what you want to do – which pretty much makes it synonymous with happiness.

2. While you are still trying to make “happiness” happen for you, start digging small things in your current job that you like. It could be as little as having a clean desk or as big as having the opportunity to stay in luxury hotels.

The goal, is to live and swim and sink in happiness. Not only when you have it, also in the chase.

Let’s thank Beatles

Beatles was right.

Love is all you need.

We all are made up of love, should not save it up like we’re going to retire on it. Rather use it a lot because you’re made up of it.

We’re living in an economy filled with fortune yet starving in love.

Yet, today businesses, work and of course, families need love more than anything else.

Lemme explain this in a small video here. Hope it would add value to you.

If you’re not respected by others

If others are not respecting you, that’s a feeling a lot of people don’t adore. Rather no one does.

A question to consider, before thinking of being respected by others:

“Do I really respect the way I am? Am I really proud of myself?”

Not the ego’s answer, the real answer.

Whatever the answer be (yes or no), you know what to do next.

Hint: Others were never in the picture.

Is this the right treatment?

The way you treat yourself…

The way you check phone when you should be sitting silent…

The way you allow yourself to be replaceable…

The way there are people on social media deciding your life…

The way you allow someone else to be an influencer and not your own self…

…is this the right way you should be treating yourself?

Would you treat your most loved one like that and take pride in that?

Who cares?

If you think no one cares, think a little bit more.

Maybe you care too much to allow other people to drive that thought.

Here’s the thing: if you are in a powerful and peaceful state of mind, you will have a knack to give to others, versus asking them to care.

You’ll know they care, and you’ll know that because you take care or yourself.

The dissection of love

Love is not just romantic love, in fact that is selfishness.

Love is, our natural nature.

Love is, the reason we all are here.

Elite Wiesel said, “The opposite of love is not hate, the opposite of love is indifference.”

So when you are indifferent towards a human being, you’re not giving them love.

Love, that you are made up of, you’re restricting yourself of it.

How will that create any goodness for you?