Are they really sorted?

There is someone in my circle who comes across as a very sorted, chilled out person.

They are least affected by all the hype happening at work or in someone else’s life, don’t respond to extreme events, and enjoy their work the most.

Very recently, someone in the group asked them what was the biggest personal lesson of 2020.

You’ll be stunned at the response!

“I realize I am the biggest source of stress in my life.” They went on to say that in the nine months of Covid alone, they had developed more grey hair than all the past years combined together.

It made me think. I always used to think of her as a chilled out, I-don’t-give-a-damn kind of person. Maybe they are that. However, just because someone doesn’t show it, that doesn’t mean they aren’t carrying a heavy load.

For some people, the very nature of not showing is their way of dealing with their load.

Aceeptance, not judgement, opens the doors of empathy from us to them, instead of we pigeonholing them as ruthless.

Each human is suffering, and the best way to save them is acknowledge it first, instead of judging them

Documenting NY habits

This year, I’m doing something different: creating habits instead of goals. While I do have some goals at the back of my mind, they’re all effective when we build systems around them.

So here are mine:

1. Create one IG reel + one LinkedIn post daily. And write a Twitter thread every Tuesday about lessons from the book I’m reading.

2. Sleep by 9:30 PM. Daily.

3. Have daily habits of reading and meditation, and check my chart daily at EOD.

The only person between you and your happiness and success is you, and let good habits nudge you away from the old you.

Happy New Year folks! I’d love to listen to your habits, DM me on IG/Twitter/ LinkedIn with the handle nishthagehija26.

See you then, and 2021 will be the best year of your life!

The best hack to be peaceful

In the last week of 2020, I removed the email app from my phone.

Little had I expected, my screen time went down drastically.

So, going to continue that in 2021 as well. Even if there is an extreme news of me making it to the best seller list, I’ll be able to enjoy it when I am peacefully sitting in a place to read that email. Quick notifications aren’t a great place to celebrate.

Maybe will try that will WhatsApp soon:)

The usual boring stuff

Much of our lives is the usual boring stuff.

Extreme events – such as a job promotion, getting your dream client, getting that deal, your first pair of Nike’s, no matter how eventful – they’re extremely rare.

Which brings us to the boring stuff, and make the best of it.

How to make the best of it – no one can answer that for you, only you can.

But if you keep making the best of each boring day – trust me, you will have ideas to an extent of just extreme events.

Only one caveat: Keep working on your habits and the usual mundane stuff of doing the right things while watching someone else’s happening Insta feed.

Wouldn’t agree on this one…

I read somewhere that pain is just pain. Someone else’s intensity of pain doesn’t reduce your pain.

While most people may agree, I tend to disagree.

Someone else’s intensity of pain might be different from yours. And if we are unable to acknowledge that, it makes us more selfish and less empathetic.

If we are in pain and still can acknowledge someone else is in pain, we are truly a caring human being.

I almost forgot…

I almost forgot to write today’s blog post.

And now, while sleeping, reminded of that.

So, what is it about today?

Hmm, I’m thinking of charging for consulting as well over the call. Okay, the client is going to pay me beautifully when the work starts, however why do I behave like a fool and offer 2.5 hours of free consulting?

Nishtha, grow up!

No one will value you if you don’t do that to yourself.

That said, the last leg of brainstorming with the client is left, will seek guidance from God in meditation early morning tomorrow, if it is right to charge or be modest if the contract is already yours.

Chalo, good night peops!

Maa Papa 💖

All of a sudden, I’ve enjoyed being with my family now.

Now that vaccine is almost there, now that there is a job to look up to, now that I’ll be back to Delhi somewhere by the end of winter, I’ve already started missing my parents.

They’re (not so much) weird for me, and I guess so am I for them.

This moment, is all you have!

As a line from one of my favourite songs goes: “Reh jayengi, yeh nishaaniyaan, rahein naa rahein hum! Aa jee le ek pal mein sau janam!”

Thanksgiving is all about…

Thanksgiving is all about…

• Being grateful to your farmers, because without them, even pizza wasn’t possible.

• Being grateful for the electricity, otherwise how would geyser operate?

• A thousand more things tbh, but today, let’s stop with the fact that we have almost survived 2020 stronger and better.

What else could thanksgiving be about?

If this happens, that will definitely happen

If you really work hard and get better, you will get where you want to.

If you keep forgiving people, you will get lighter.

If you keep eating a bit lesser, soon you will get to your desired destination.

If you keep persisting when you are supposed to give up, you will get great rewards instantly over a period of time.

If you be there for yourself, you will be able to be there for others as well. Not vice versa.

It turns out, we already know all the answers. We just need to decide, as Seth Godin says.

Do you know that popular kid?

You may be the popular kid. Or you may be not.

You may be the boss/teacher’s favourite. Or you may be not.

But there is something that could never be taken from you:

1. Hard work.

2. Beginner’s mindset.

3. Signing up to do the work that you could play politics on and get away with.

4. Taking responsibility.

5. Doing 1-4 even when it is difficult.

It’s not easy. That’s why totally worth it.

The velvet mat

I sit on the floor to have my meals. And when I get up, I do so without any support. This is my gold standard for health.

As the winter is approaching, my Mom got a velvet mat for me to sit.

And all of a sudden, I just couldn’t stand from that velvet mat. I felt like all of a sudden I had lost my health and stamina. It was uneasy.

And then a bolt hit me. Velvet is smooth and it acts as a friction between the resistance of the floor and my feet.

So the trick was to remove the velvet mat and then get up. Bam!

Sometimes the problem is not with our efforts, rather the medium where we are executing our efforts. Changing that might change everything.

A note to myself

Be patient.

It is coming.

It is right there.

Just be patient and let yourself know that all you wanted is already with you.

All you have got to do is remember who you are, and then straighten your crown.

Also, it is very veryyyy easy to get lost in the approval or hate of others. Be neutral and let things happen as you don’t change.

If no one told this to you, here it is…

1. You are doing your best. Stop beating yourself up.

2. You have a lot of power. You just need to check the leakage.

3. It takes a strong human being to always be looking for good. Be that tough human being.

4. Talk to yourself. Your need to scroll Instagram would vanish.

5. To walk your own path requires courage. It isn’t disrespectful of anyone, as long as you are not disrespecting them.

6. To stay silent in a throng of un-wise words is a measure of immense inner power.

7. To speak your truth even when your voice shakes is being powerful (again).

8. Standing for yourself isn’t selfish.

9. Being there to understand is a mark of an understanding human being.

10. It is very very easy to get caught up in the celebrity and blitz of the world, share the photographs of “your perfect world” and the new things you bought. If you do not use social media to generate this triviality in others nor to consume it yourself, you’re already ahead of the majority of the world.

Small reminders. Small life. Make your time worth it! 😇

Happy this Dushehra?

As a kid, we used to go to my Naani’s home to witness Ravan being slayed.

Over a period of time as we grew up, Nana passed away and Naani got older, the tradition stopped.

This time, when there is no Dushehra mela, it reminds of something deeper: that some day there will be nothing more.

And it won’t be sad. It would rather be a reminder of how much inner evils we need to uproot. Because if we have uprooted all of them, we’d be happy by default.

New people

Met incredible people. Or met people that drained your energy.

Though both of these are good, what is great is how much time you spent with yourself alone.

If not, then whatever we do is going to be a replica of the world, not an originality.

Taare Zameen Par

Jab bhi kabhi

Papa mujhe

Jo zor se

Jhula jhulaate hain Maa

(Ab Papa jhula to nahi jhulate par metaphorical jhula jhulate hain)

Meri nazar

Dhundhe tujhe

Sochu yehi

Tu aake thaamegi Maa…

Unse main yeh kehta nahi

Par sehem jaata hu main Maa

(Shayad Maa bhi sehmi hui hai)

Chehre pe aane deta nahi

Dil hi dil mein ghabraata hu Maa

Tujhe sab hai pata

Hai na Maa

Tujhe sab hai pataaaa

Meri Maa ❣️

The tragedy of death

Death has taken bigger toll on 2020 than we had ever expected.

It has become a daily feat to conquer instead of facing it at the end of the life.

However, when death comes with a possibility threat, it also comes as a reminder:

1. That if it comes to grab us, let it take us away with our happiness, instead of letting its fear take away our happiness.

2. That there are people who need our support and just our emotional presence. We can always be there for them, even if we are not around them. Let our loved ones know you care. Because you do. And because they need you.

3. This moment is all we have. We don’t know what’s next, however we do own what we have now.

What to do when you feel empty?

When we feel empty, most of us navigate to social media.

Except that it doesn’t help.

Instead, what really helps is appreciation.

Whenever we are appreciated by someone, we feel a sense of validation.

Except, that it won’t come always.

So why not appreciate ourselves every time?

Why not be grateful for what is working?

Why not, be our own cheerleader?

Of course we can, when we can do it all the time for others.

If you feel lack…

If you feel lack of love, talk to your Mom.

If you feel lack of understanding, talk to your best friend.

If you feel lack of health, watch an influencer’s video on YouTube.

If you feel you lack happiness, talk to a kid.

If you feel away from yourself, talk to yourself.