Raw. Real. Unfiltered. Daily blogs. Often, less than 100 words
Do you have someone around you, who is not talking to you?
You’ve tried everything, yet there happens to be some mystery?
I came across this quote of Tony Robbins, that would help:
“The unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer him up, because that means he has to stop dwelling on himself and start paying attention to the universe. Unhappiness is the ultimate form of self-indulgence.” – Tony Robbins
Read that again. And again.
And then, bless them. And move on!
Think of a scene in a household.
A millennial / GenZ is working on their laptop.
Mom is working on her things.
They are not talking. Not out of anger. Just because they’re chill.
Now imagine this.
Today, the Mom has gone to her Mom’s place.
Dad is at home because of evening curfew.
All of a sudden he feels alone.
Because guess what? The millennial kid is still working, nothing changed.
All of a sudden Dad felt he and his presumed “importance” were not catered to.
We do this so often, so much, that we even forget we do this.
What? The need to make men not feel alone.
That’s why shy girls speak more when around men. Just to comfort them.
Or daughters try to please Dads. Just because of this subconscious need to not make him feel alone.
Or why overriding a man’s instructions in office has to be supported with reasons.
If there is one thing women must not do, is this: Try to please men. It is so so so deep-rooted that we think it is our love for them, however, it is in reality rooting to that nature of not letting silence do the talking.
For females – in formal and personal relationships, we do a lot of talking through silence.
For males – in all relationships, you do not need to do the talking.
Just be. Who you are. In every relationship. Irrespective of the gender of the person you’re speaking to.
Sometimes all I have is sympathy for our parents’ generation.
Their parents saw the partition of the nation – leaving their country, their childhood, all that they called “theirs”, to come to another place just to survive.
In this need for survival, was the generation of our parents born.
Thus, the upbringing they got was of stress, not having enough time, and always lack of means.
Which is why our parents are the way they are.
They have been conditioned so.
They were never taught to love.
Perhaps because they were never loved.
And then one fine day, we pop up and expect them to be cool because that is what we are surrounded by – cool kids just like us.
Now that we know, we can still do what we want to do, while being respectful of who they are. It isn’t just for them, it is for the acknowledgement of how much they are trying to adapt, because they care for you:)
“I have dealt with so many bad clients.”
“Not all clients provide creative freedom.”
“I have the mind of steel now, while dealing with bad clients.”
Time and again, I see people documenting their bad experiences with their clients.
However, here is the truth:
They weren’t bad. They were just being themselves.
Maybe they were not trusted with money so they thought it is okay to pass on that belief.
Maybe their work never trusted so they did the same to you.
Or maybe maybe maybe you made the mistake in choosing the wrong professional relationship.
If we are aware, we always know in pre signing up conversations, how the other person is going to turn out to be.
If we truly look back at all our “bad” experiences, in our heart, we knew that before signing them up.
People rarely change.
They just reveal themselves.
It is up to us when we choose to see and when we choose to be blinded.
You cannot measure the revenue a customer will bring basis your product.
It also depends on:
– how you treat them
– do you really mean that kindness
– how much you care about customer satisfaction at the core
– what do you do to raise that bar
– how do you listen to customer queries and complaints
The existing customer, will then decide how many people would he decide to turn into your permanent ones.
Applies to all areas of life. Your social media. Your friends. How you treat them. How you treat yourself. Who are you friends with.
The tiniest things that we do, even how careful or ruthless we are while applying toothpaste on our brush, determines how successful we become – financially and in every other area .
Even thebiggest happiness could being about a place of sadness if you happen to compare yourself to others.
Someone else, younger than you, is going to get all the things you have been waiting for.
Does it feel bad! Maybe yes.
Should it feel bad? The answer to this could never be yes.
What’s the solution, then? The solution is to put yourself in more I more situations like these because that only would help you work harder and challenge yourself more often.
Think over it. Someone else won, you lost; and then you created your own plan of confidence a reality.
With all that is going on in the world we need to be more powerful from within.
Trust yourself, your mindset is the biggest asset.
No news. More positivity. And some time in nature by going to the balcony / terrace.
You are all you have. And you can’t afford to lose your happiness like this every single day!
Good things happen when you don’t expect them to happen, and continue doing your hard work.
But hard work without smart work is donkey work.
Rather, working hard along with making your own way is the best kind of hard work that will yield results for you.
Making calculated efforts. Making better efforts. Working with effortless ease.
All of these, make good things happen 🙂
People reach out on social media to get work done. Quite normal.
But I don’t do this kinda work 🙂
Some of the reactions of my team members:
1. I have a nibha. I can assist you in writing 🤣🤣🤣
2. I have some unsent letters, lemme know if you want to use them. Doing a giveaway 🙂
3. O boy, ye bhi outsource hota hai?
And many 🤣🤣🤣 emojis.
Have you ever done something weird like this?
A friend I know, has been working on YouTube channel of a celebrity. They are a team of four people managing different tasks.
Looking at all of this, an agency approaches them and hires them.
And now the plot twist begins.
The guy who is the main speaker of the videos tries to copy everything of that celebrity.
The way he speaks.
The colours of his clothing.
Video lengths
And of course, the team 🙂
Except just one thing: This celebrity’s mindset. The celebrity’s humility. The celebrity’s wisdom to let people do their own thing instead of dominating them.
So he does all these things the opposite.
Just like all people who want to copy but not emulate.
We all draw our external imageries from people around us. Nothing wrong with it.
However, if we do not work around creating our right vibe and mindset, and just refuse to change, no celebrity would ever be able to help us.
Growth is a personal responsibility. Not something you can pay others and expect to happen with the same old angry and resistant methods.
To be a boss lady, you do not have to become the boss of the team. You just have to be the boss of your life.
Lemme show that to you with an example:
If you observe closely, in Pic 1 I am having a fake smile versus I’m just being a natural in Pic 2.
Why so? Because that day I was going to do something that I should have said no to. So I was not in my best frame of mind. It is from 2018.
In pic 2, from March 2021, I’m just myself all the time. Being happy, saying no to things that don’t matter, and more than anything else, being the boss of my life.
So, if you want to be the Boss Lady, just live your life on your own terms. And not to impress anyone.
Anger. The word whose existence kills most relationships.
Even when people are aware that they need to stop getting so angry, why aren’t they able to change it?
Because they want their needs to be met first.
I want to be respected by my friends.
I want to earn more than a colleague.
I should be the priority for getting perks.
I want…
And when we don’t get these things we get bruised in our minds. That inner hurt is reflected as anger, sooner or later.
What if, we try the other way round?
I respect my friends and I know they also love and respect me, even if they don’t express it.
What I earn is right for me and whatever raise I deserve, will come to me.
Everyone is getting all the perks they deserve. It’s us vs me.
It turns out, when we change the inner conversation, the outer and inner anger vanishes.
Guess who is responsible for our anger then?
Guess who has the power to change it?
The power we look for outside, is the inner power we do not use.
People who do not understand these miracles, call themselves addicted to the internet.
The world is glorifying what they have done.
Making all attempts to get famous (nothing wrong btw).
Or justifying why their parents failed them.
I get that.
I hear that.
I understand where you are coming from.
The only question is: Do you really want it?
If yes, please stop reading this right now.
However, if what you are chasing is something you don’t like fully, perhaps today is a good day to start with thinking alone for 30 minutes. Don’t you think so?
You’re just one video / one book away from a better mood.
You’re just one chat away from a worse mood.
And you’re just one pause of silence away from discovering the plethora of joy within you.
Which one will you start with today?
Self-control to not check WhatsApp because it is just a time-pass.
Self-control to block the negative people because you love yourself.
Self-control to sleep at a fixed time every night because early morning meditation and workout is superimportant to you.
Self-control to distance yourself from “friends” that drain your energy because you can’t love anyone unless you love yourself.
Self-control to have the self-control to not talk about this self-control in public and rather live by it, because doers rule the world.
Hustling. Grinding. Slogging in the hours.
All of this is pop culture’s definition of hard work.
Except that it’s false.
True hard work is when someone’s good or bad deeds do not invoke a reaction from you.
If the above line seemed difficult, it may be possible that you’re just wasting your time instead of doing the real hard work.
If out of four people you liked three people and didn’t like one, it is like having one drop of poison instead of four.
It will still affect you.
The question is, are we giving up our venoms every single day?
When parents force their grown up kids to do something, kids feel pressured.
When kids finally take their plunge, they feel guilty.
And I want you to know – in either situations, do what is right. It never goes out of style. When you do that, you don’t need to feel guilty. Do your best. And then trust yourself.
Since I was burning with fever yesterday, the rice I prepared day before yesterday was used yesterday as well.
Used it as fried rice for lunch and dal rice for dinner.
The dal was freshly prepared, and the rice were cold. So when I poured hot burning dal on rice, the mixture still seemed sort of cold.
It made me think – as to how much power does being “chilled out” have. No matter how hot (or angry) someone else is, when you are chilled out, anything that comes in your contact also gets chilled out.
Would you want to give this a try?