How to gain respect of others

1. By saving their time.

2. By accepting them where they are, and not judging them (even in our mind.)

3. By showing up when you commit to do so.

4. By respecting them for their life choices, even if they are not aligned with what they do or have done.

5. By giving up the need to be respected.

MS Dhoni

MS Dhoni announced his retirement today.

The sad pic of that semi-final match in WC 2019.

Sad we live in a society that makes a gem retire because he couldn’t get us to the Finals of the World Cup.

PS: How could we forget it was a team of 11 players on the field?

How could we forget we trusted him so much that we depended only on him?

I have never been a cricket fan. Never watch matches.

However, the next time someone doesn’t get the score you think they should get, don’t treat them like as a society we treated Dhoni.

You will be loved forever MS! For all the things you didn’t say 💖

Freelancing so far

The past few months of freelancing have been super fun.

Got some really amazing clients, and having the work I love.

Looks like a fairy tale, isn’t it?

Of course not. Because out of very few things that have worked out, there are 10X things that haven’t!

Applied for freelancing jobs that didn’t work out.

Cold emails that didn’t get responded.

And opportunities I was sure of getting didn’t come.

However, what did work out was engagement and relationships with the clients that I am working with right now.

No formula, no random tricks. Just success is directly proportionate to the efforts you put in.

The number game.

It didn’t work out

If it didn’t work out, something better is along the way.

If it did, you can create it even more epic.

Life isn’t about hits and misses. Life is about the hit you’ve made by being alive. You have a fiduciary responsibility to be the best of who you can be. If you don’t want to be in the life you don’t like, move. Stop wasting time on what didn’t work.

Some random life truths

1. Checking your email just three times a day is a sign of maturity.

2. You are loved. Let no social media tell you otherwise.

3. You may forgive people yet not allow them into your life ever again.

4. You don’t need love. You ARE love. Now go, give. Starting with yourself.

5. The best thing you could do to yourself is be You. Everyone else is already taken, as Oscar Wilde said.

Do you want to change the world?

To shout is not power. It is lack of power.

To demean people isn’t truthful. It’s lack of self-control.

To check phone every three minutes is not being there for your team. They want you to be easy before anything else.

As we get caught up in this endless wave of doing what the world says is right, we forget that the world needs more people who are aware, not a photocopy of the world we need to change.

When you don’t like someone…

When you don’t like someone, going about not liking them forever is a tough job.

What if you asked yourself instead: “Why do I not like them?”

It may be possible that their values aren’t aligned with yours.

It may also be possible that they just don’t know better.

And when you make time to think deep with yourself, you’ll be able to make an informed choice, not the one that is out of rage and impulse.

You get the life basis the people you allow. The first person to allow is you, not the byproduct of someone else’s actions.

Are people dissatisfied with you?

People are going to be dissatisfied with you.

At home.

At work.

Friends maybe.

There’re two things to reflect:

a. Is it a reflection of their own dissatisfaction?

Or

b. Is there something you really need to change.

In either cases, you have the power. You just need to let go of your first-emotion crisis. You just need to decide.

What’s your weight?

This lockdown came along with gyms locked down.

Till March, I had reached a great weight resistance. Then began the workout at home.

Today I brought in weights from my old home, and lo, the resistance which I could carry initially wasn’t there. The reason, obviously, was lack of practice with weights.

In life, the more we continue to live with goodness, the more resilience we develop against what’s isn’t right – without losing on who we are.

If we remain where we are without increasing that quota of goodness, over time, we’ll lose it.

Over time, we will lose ourselves.

Lessons from today

1. The only way to feeling good is listening and reading inspirational stuff. This may sound boring, however once you start, it ain’t leaving you.

2. But that exposure to stuff won’t change your life. Your life will be changed when you move out of the noise and reflect on what all you learnt. When you become your own teacher and give yourself some homework, that’s when life changes.

3. Your old habits are waiting at your doorstep if you’re not strict with enforcing your newer, better habits.

4. Where there is true love, you accept people as they are.

5. If you want to change something with them, it’s perhaps because they’re reflecting your insecurities and incompleteness.

That’s it for today, folks! See you tomorrow 😌.

Lessons from 66 year old father

Yesterday my father turned 66. While his life has innumerable lessons, here are some that inspire me today:

1. Picked up exercise during lockdown. Still continues it for an hour daily.

2. Loves to go to his work daily. A trait missing in a lot of millennials.

3. Is always there to listen to my problems, without judgement. Ever.

4. Will give up anything but never honesty. That, in turn, brings him tons of blessings.

5. Most importantly, understands the space I am in. Thus, never forces me or even brings up the topic of marriage. Being a boomer and raised by parents who witnessed WW2 and partition of the country, this mindset shift from him is the best gift he could give to me.

Here’s a closing note: Him and I have different points of view on almost everything. Yet, you will miss your father when he is gone. Love him despite the differences. No one would love you like him, and this comes from someone who is the biggest rebel to her father. 🤗

How was the day today?

This question is holding far more importance these days than anything else.

Well, yesterday I ended up the day my way. So slept well, and woke up really well.

And will do that daily.

It is just a formula. If you don’t apply it, you lose it. Every moment of life, you are just fighting a silent fight to keep your positivity alive. Today I did. Tomorrow, a little better. And a little more.

We shall overcome. We will overcome.

The equation with boss

Boss.

The moment one uses this word, it comes across as someone who is dominating, trying to pull you down, and thinks nothing in your interest, only in the interest of getting work done.

While I have worked with several bosses over the past years, I understand getting a good one is merely a chance of luck. Otherwise we are all doomed.

When you have a good one, there may be times when you may still want to change parts of their personality.

Of course, you may be considering job switch or client switch (because the client is also a boss) or making any other move, there is something you can always change, which is: becoming more elevated in your state of mind.

This may sound like the most obvious answer. 

Feeling bad and rejected because of boss? Make a more elevated state of mind.

Feeling resentful towards them? Create a more elevated state of mind.

Want to do gossip about them? Create a more elevated state of mind.

You may actually not want to do that in all these situations, and just go and deflate their car tyre as an easy option.

However, here’s the harsh reality friends: Unless you change your own attitude (no matter how good it is right now – remember, elevation 😇), you won’t have the power to change your attitude towards someone else.

By all means keep looking for a new job if this one doesn’t feel right for you. 

However, in the midst, in the process of finding out a new one, is it really worth your time to spend emotional and mental energy on someone who probably doesn’t care? Perhaps they are going through a bigger life problem that you aren’t aware – and their behavior is simply a reflection of that problem. Maybe their kid is not as bright as you and that’s why they want to pull you down.

Perhaps none of these reasons exist and still they aren’t humanly nice to you. Everyone is fighting a battle we don’t know – not even about our immediate family.

To make the change outside, starting within is perhaps the first step. And the last one. And all the steps in the middle. Everything else will be taken care of.

No, no one would change because of that. But you won’t be losing yourself in the process of coping up or finding a new boss. That’s when, you become your own boss.

The truth about handling pressure

If there is pressure in your life, and you are worried about it, here is the healer:

This is how life should be.

This ain’t compromise, this ain’t adjusting on life, this is the truth.

And truth shall set you free. If you learn how to live with the truth, instead of letting it kill you.

Patience

Today an Amazon packet was to be delivered. The boy reached on the ground floor, and called.

Since I didn’t receive, I immediately called back, however was unreachable.

So I went to the balcony of our first floor home, and saw him.

He asked for my name first. I responded. Then he asked for his number that flashed on to my screen. Then he even asked for my number that was there on the package. For no reasons, no one has ever done that.

A part of me wanted to get angry at him. However, I told myself: “He must also be in pain for going out and meeting so many people in these conditions. More so, maybe he had lost a valuable packet in the past for not doing due diligence.”

This suddenly stopped me from getting angry. And gave me perspective.

We choose our emotions. And then, those emotions choose us.

Is truth false?

If you choose to show your authentic self, it is amazing how many people would offer themselves to help you.

Society has taught us to show only goodness and beauty, and that is what brings respect from others.

The real thing, if surfaced to the top, would bring in reality from everyone else as well.

Collectively, we will take things forward, by showing where we lag.

Otherwise, false impressions will create false realities, which will serve no true purpose.