Tag: happiness

Happiness

Dealing with mental health issues

With the mental health issues going to peak ten days back, I deliberately started taking extra care of myself.

Here’s what I realised:

  • At the core of every mental health issue, is the need for happiness.
  • When I didn’t get it, I felt a chaos in my mind.
  • I almost (read: always) believed that if I am good to everyone, they should also be good to me. Unmindful of the fact, that everyone is going through the chaos in their minds as well (including our families)
  • Taking care of yourself is something you will have to do. Otherwise we will always be dependent on the mood swings of others – and that is never a balanced place to settle on.
  • Being happy is NOT a sin. Okay? Read it again if it was not clear to you.

Here’s what I have started doing now:

  • Given up the need to impress everyone and make them happy. I have realised that even if I am happy and doing things to make them happy, if someone makes a conscious or unconscious choice to be upset, they will. Don’t take anyone personally.
  • Love yourself like that is your job#1. For most people, this job even doesn’t make it to the list of their jobs.
  • Stop justifying your actions all the time. I do not give a damn to what anyone else says yet don’t know how during this lockdown I started craving for the validation of my family. If you feel truthful and real in your work, you have done your job well. Anything and anyone that takes you away from peace is the one worth going away from.
  • Imagine the best outcome. We all are the creators of our experiences. What we are today, is what we had imagined yesterday.
  • This one is important. Treat people well even if you don’t listen to them or you know they are toxic. They are being them, and for whatever little time they get to hang around you, make sure to be kind to them. They are fighting a tough battle. Just like I needed people with my mental health issues, I realised they will also need kind people so that mental health issues don’t sink into them.

The journey is hard. Only if I label it so. Remember – creators of our experiences? Now I have unabashedly started living for my own happiness – without hurting others, however, not allowing anyone to enter that bubble and burst it.

Life

Happy this Dushehra?

As a kid, we used to go to my Naani’s home to witness Ravan being slayed.

Over a period of time as we grew up, Nana passed away and Naani got older, the tradition stopped.

This time, when there is no Dushehra mela, it reminds of something deeper: that some day there will be nothing more.

And it won’t be sad. It would rather be a reminder of how much inner evils we need to uproot. Because if we have uprooted all of them, we’d be happy by default.

Life

Question?

Either you do something good or bad, there will be people questioning you.

Just make sure you don’t question yourself.

That doesn’t mean not making the mistakes, it rather means not owning your life.

Own your life.

Don’t question yourself at the end of it that why you gave up.

People

New people

Met incredible people. Or met people that drained your energy.

Though both of these are good, what is great is how much time you spent with yourself alone.

If not, then whatever we do is going to be a replica of the world, not an originality.

Emotions

The story of betrayal

Recently, someone whom I trusted professionally betrayed my trust – of course, professionally.

Not for the first time. Rather for the nth time.

Then why am I still stuck?
When is the right time to leave?
Why don’t I teach them a lesson?

Honestly I don’t know. Because no coin is two-dimensional with two sides, every coin is a 3D art with multiple aspects. Not that I am not able to see clearly, rather I am waiting for the right time.

There are multiple virtues of being young and there is a vice of acting on impulse because you’re young. Never let the vice ruin your life forever. Thinking before acting is a superpower. Not acting for long is lack of trust in yourself. Finding that balance is what makes you irresistable.

Life, Thoughts

That little tinge of kindness

August 2017.
It was a usual day at work.
I went to the Operations Head, asking to share the records and documents needed for my work.

Back then, I used to work as an Internal Auditor, and the core job was visiting branches and conducting audits, with the help of branch operations team.

This fine day, as I was going back to my desk after talking with the Operations Head, when she called my name and said, “You always look stunning!”

And it took a moment for my mask of “follow me I am the auditor” to more of a humble, kinder human.

That of course, didn’t affect my work, however, it did tell me that it’s super important to appreciate people for their little things.

As my bosses used to say: “Neither of you are against each other, you both are working for the bank.”

PS: If you do not want AI to replace you, learn from this girl who showed the human side of her.

PPS: No, it didn’t affect my report however it did affect how I reflect on life.

And that’s super important 🙂

Knowing Yourself

Note to me on my journey

Don’t be too desperate.

Don’t be submissive either.

Walk your path, and walk assertively.

Bend, if need be. The one who bends is the one who has a flexible spine that could do anything.

Real gold is soft.

Yet, it is an alloy if there is any mixture.

And, rich is the human who doesn’t waste the resources of time, thoughts and powers.

You can, because there isn’t a time when you haven’t been able to.

Clients

The secret about good client relationships

Five ways to have better client relationships:

1. Always give more than you are paid for.
2. Listen to them even though you think you are right.
3. Trust they know their business better – and that trust leads to better work together.
4. If you are not able to deliver work on time, let them know.
5. Work on their work as if it were your own work. What you will see is magic!

Hard work. Work. Execution. Power. Results.
Rinse and repeat.

Truth be told

This is a sad post

Sometimes I wish I was rich and famous.

Haha, isn’t that an ironical statement looking at my other posts?
Of course, it is.

However, here’s why I wish so:

Today I had a rift with a very good friend. She’s been super-supportive through some good valleys of life. However, each week we work on a project where I am supposed to proofread a document and she is supposed to ship it. There are other and bigger projects as well that we both work on. (This was a humble rant to show this is not only what we do :D)

So occasionally when we are not able to deliver on our project, either of us texts the other person to follow up. Last week, she did not text me, and as I realised I had to do the work, she had already shipped by then. This week, I followed up with her, however, she did not want to give me the access of the original doc (I know this because I specifically asked for credentials which the boss wanted her to share with me) so she sent me an email.

After doing the edits, I sent her the email. She responded with requiring me to highlight the changes. I said editing the core doc takes lesser time, and I do respect that you do not want to share your credentials, however, it will take more time for me to highlight that. She came back with doing it herself, along with two more solutions that were invalid according to me, however, after this I said I would have loved to do it for you had you told me straight away instead of doing things to make me do more efforts, and also apologised if anything hurt her.

No response from her.

Honestly, it felt bad.

Not because she did not “respect” me by responding. Rather because I thought we were friends and I deserved a communication and clarity from a friend.

It also felt sad because she works at one of THE top companies of the world and I have left my job to pursue writing full time (PS: I do make money that is more than my job as CA however that’s for another day) however I do not have that title with me. Maybe this was not her intention. The world, though, by default respects the ones with titles and the ones who flaunt of having more money.

I felt sad. Cried over this small thing that perhaps even doesn’t matter. Felt sad because I couldn’t create a good relationship with someone whom I thought was a friend. Sad because aren’t we supposed to be honest with our friends? Sad because I did not wake up in the morning to “grab hold” of her credentials, rather was genuinely performing my duty. Sad because maybe because of this we may never be vulnerable with each other again, however I do love her as a friend and do not want to let her go.

But, out of pure love for a human being, I wish we both brought more love onto the table.

Yet, it is the role of good friends to respect and accept each other as they are. So here we go, I’ll work on not questioning this part of her (she definitely must have had a reason) and rather be kinder towards her.

But it felt bad.

Perhaps this won’t matter a month or even a week later. Perhaps none of us is wrong. Perhaps both of us are. Perhaps she doesn’t even remember this. Perhaps she will do something good to me tomorrow out of pure intentions and we will forget about this.

However, after a leap of today’s sadness, will come multiple new lessons and thousand new ways to love those who already offer themselves to you.

True love, is loving your friends without waiting for them to love you back. Don’t hold grudges however keep a mental note to not to offer them your vulnerability again.

Knowing Yourself

Wanna quit?

“I just hate this job.
I’m gonna quit!”

Have you ever felt this way about a job / client / internship?

If you have, we all are a part of the same boat.

However, here’s a few question:
– Do we want to quit because of envy?
– Is this the same way with every job?
– What kind of life do you want?

I came across this startling realisation while reading “Your Next Five Moves” by Patrick Bet-David, and the enormous clarity he offered in an instance in the book.

And when you do, here’s another piece of advice from Mark Manson: “The person you marry is the person you fight with. The house you buy is the house you repair. The dream job you take is the job you stress over. Everything comes with an inherent sacrifice — whatever makes us feel good will also inevitably make us feel bad. What we gain is also what we lose. What creates our positive experiences will define our negative experiences. This is a difficult pill to swallow. This is why our problems are recursive and unavoidable.”

Finding answers to these questions isn’t easy, however, that isn’t what you signed up for in the first place, right?

So, what kind of life do you want?

Action, Fitness

Are you moving in the right direction?

With WFH in place for almost all of us, how do we know if we are going in the right direction?

Yes there are our coworkers who will constantly give us feedback, support us when we need, and also appreciate us when we perform well.

However, to know if we are on the right track in our lives is a different ballgame together.

Here’s how we can know it: By looking at the best in the world at it. (Online of course!)

When we set our standards at best, we get to know what we need course-correct on, and how we can execute it.

For example, yesterday my cousin and I decided to have a micro workout challenge. One game of arm wrestling, 10 push-ups and 10 jump squats – best of two. Since I have been working out for more than 8 years, I won. That’s not the point, however. Point is, when my cousin was doing push ups and jump squats – he was performing an incorrect technique in both of them. So let’s say he was able to perform only three repetitions, his next step would be to be able to perform four of them – without being aware that the first repetition itself needed course correction.

This wasn’t a remark on his skills at all, because he is phenomenal at a lot of things that I am not. However, I could point this out because I have small bit of understanding around it.

Imagine what would happen if we set our standards in whatever we did – against the best people in the world!

How would that change the trajectory of our learning?

How would that make our learning curve better?

How would we be a better person if we had such high regards for our standards, instead of simply using our previous skills as a barometer – which weren’t remarkable anyway?

Thoughts

The tragedy of death

Death has taken bigger toll on 2020 than we had ever expected.

It has become a daily feat to conquer instead of facing it at the end of the life.

However, when death comes with a possibility threat, it also comes as a reminder:

1. That if it comes to grab us, let it take us away with our happiness, instead of letting its fear take away our happiness.

2. That there are people who need our support and just our emotional presence. We can always be there for them, even if we are not around them. Let our loved ones know you care. Because you do. And because they need you.

3. This moment is all we have. We don’t know what’s next, however we do own what we have now.

Knowing Yourself

What to do when you feel empty?

When we feel empty, most of us navigate to social media.

Except that it doesn’t help.

Instead, what really helps is appreciation.

Whenever we are appreciated by someone, we feel a sense of validation.

Except, that it won’t come always.

So why not appreciate ourselves every time?

Why not be grateful for what is working?

Why not, be our own cheerleader?

Of course we can, when we can do it all the time for others.

Knowing Yourself

If you feel lack…

If you feel lack of love, talk to your Mom.

If you feel lack of understanding, talk to your best friend.

If you feel lack of health, watch an influencer’s video on YouTube.

If you feel you lack happiness, talk to a kid.

If you feel away from yourself, talk to yourself.

Emotions

Why do we hide our emotions?

What if a recruiter found a profile of gold and expressed the candidate clearly how good they were?

What if an influencer thanked a fan from the bottom of their heart when they did a nice gesture for them?

What if a boss voluntarily thanked an employee for the contribution they brought on the table?

We don’t express our truest emotions in our work because when we were on the receiving side of things, this is how the world worked.

The world we live in, is the world we have so meticulously created. So does the power to change vest onto us. How will we use it?

Knowing Yourself

How to save years of misery?

1. Never type an e-mail in an impulse.

2. Attend lesser (read: no) parties.

3. Don’t assume, simply ask.

4. If at all you assume about people, assume the most positive outcome. Assuming about work isn’t even allowed until made clear.

5. Read Naval Ravikant daily.

Thoughts

A note on remote thinking

For almost half a year, we’ve all been working remotely. While the new world comes along with its advantages and disadvantages, there is something under the covers we fail to see:

Since we lack communication, we fall in the trap of assuming. That assumption is often towards the negative side.

Perhaps we can’t have more communication with others anyway.

So why not start having those with our own selves? Why not start figuring out the most powerful meanings, when the meaning is up to us? Why do we have to just go the negative way?

Truth be told

A note on trust

Trust yourself, as much as you trust others.

Trust yourself more often.

Trust others more often.

Trust the pain, because it solely is responsible for making you enjoy the joy of life.

Trust your hard work, it never goes to vain.

Trust your parents, even when you don’t want to.

Trust your friends, they are there for you – anytime and any place.

Trust your work, coz it will go out into the world and do more good.

More than anything else, trust yourself. You have handled worse in the past. This too, shall pass.

Self Love

It’s okay when it’s not okay

It’s okay to have unanswered emails.

It’s okay to miss a Zoom meeting on purpose.

It’s okay to not follow a schedule once a blue moon.

It’s okay to disagree with your loved ones.

It’s okay to buy and have things in way less than what you earn.

It’s okay, to be okay when it’s not okay. Okay?

Success

How I broke an old habit

For several months, I’ve been trying to change a habit of mine, which is: to not check work related WhatsApp messages and emails on Sundays.

However, despite multiple efforts, wasn’t able to get off the habit.

Same thing happened yesterday. I attended to work messages in the first half.

In the second half, I went to play badminton with my nephews and nieces. As a result, when I came back, still I didn’t open their WhatsApps. I didn’t have the urge in the first place!

It shows the power of physical activity on our mind, and how much controlling power we have.

No matter how important or urgent the work is, nothing is more important than the much-needed nothingness.