Raw. Real. Unfiltered. Daily blogs. Often, less than 100 words
The most important person in a relationship is You.
We build trust by doing what we do for them when they are not around. That builds respect.
Respect is what we do for them when what they do is not what we want to do, yet we do it because we love and respect them.
Read the above line twice. It is important because this is why most relationships falter.
There’s a very close relationship of mine, where I do not feel the need to be around them anymore. We’ve been very well connected, to the extent that when I used to cry alone miles away, she used to have an intuition that something is wrong with me.
Then today, I had a conversation with a mutual friend, who said she has been pushing him to convince me to take a major life step, which I do not want to take.
Then it really hit me to connect the dots. Just because this person does not respect my life choices at an inner level, I had been consistently losing this feeling of being around them.
That is such a deep thing. Not because I was #betrayed. Okay maybe I was, however a deeper thing was that we always act out basis what is happening there inside.
There are no two sides. The white ultimately becomes light grey shortly which ends up becoming black over a period of time.
Trust is something you build when they’re not watching. Hard to build trust with someone if you don’t trust yourself.
I don’t have anger against them, I only have blessings for them to trust and respect themselves. Because it takes a broken person from inside to disrespect and not give trust to the other person’s choices.
Strictness does not mean rudeness.
Strictness also does not mean lack of a great bond.
Strictness also does not mean lack of respect.
However when work is to be respected, accountability must arise.
When we let people know the inherent measure of respect, we create a space for them to respect themselves.
To face failures is great.
To share it is greater, because you are being vulnerable.
To share it with those who will make fun of it and perhaps treat you with disrespect – shows you need to change your circle.
Any business relationship we enter into, we may either feel it’s great or we may feel something is not right at all.
On the surface everything may look cool, you won’t be able to point out what.
Yet you know in your heart that this business relationship is not going to work right.
Be a little right to yourself, and walk out from there. Only when you get away from wrong, will the right make space in your life.
Rejection.
No one wants to be rejected.
Yet we do get rejected all the time – in relationships that didn’t work out, in jobs where we didn’t find our happiness, in childhood when we were scolded for no fault of ours.
It’s like someone inserting a scalpel into your eyes without giving you the anaesthesia.
Even the thought pricks a hole in the heart.
Yet it’s impossible to find a successful person who was not rejected. Not one ever.
Rejection does not mean we were wrong or we were not accepted.
It simply means we were not aligned.
Relationship rejection – love yourself now.
Job rejection – your work you love is shouting out loud at you to be noticed.
Childhood rejection – don’t do the same to your kids (and your parents).
Rejection never stops anyone. Unless one is ready to be stopped.
You get to decide.
I dream of a world…
where we would love each other,
respect each other,
talk with each other,
irrespective of what they have done.
Just out of humanity.
Numbers
Followers
Salary
Likes and comments.
Four circles or three arrows in your car brand.
Centralised AC.
Chimney that doesn’t make any noise.
Success – we have measured it by metrics that world has taught us to.
Maybe it isn’t success. Maybe success is the way you really want.
There’s nothing wrong with material things, if you really want them.
If that’s not what really makes you happy, then we really need to live and grow by our own version of happiness.
New friends.
When you find new friends of course you feel great, you feel like you have arrived home.
Yet at the same time it’s it would be great to remember that those friends help you make you a bigger version of you, a better version of you.
Would be wise to not be like them rather being just the best version of you. Balance of love. Best of both worlds.
When the lockdown will be over, what will your reaction look like?
A. Happy to have the freedom to go out.
B. A part of you will regret if you didn’t make the best of this time.
That very part of you will be overjoyed if you made every moment count.
What are you spending your moments currently on?
Let’s say you and a friend happen to make different decisions on a subject.
Further, let’s say that their actions happened to be something that caused you a momentary harm.
You now have all the rights to get angry, upset and also tell them that it’s because of “them” that you are hurt.
Or, there’s another option:
• To understand that they had their best intentions in mind.
• To accept that you have also made mistakes in the past.
• Most importantly, to remember that love is the most powerful emotion. More than being right.
When someone else makes a mistake next time, remember to love, because you are made up of love. Pure love.
If you ever feel you can trust others, maybe there’s actually something to change.
Not with them, perhaps with your relationship with the person in the mirror.
Our relationships with others are simply a reflection of how we treat ourselves.
Since charity begins at home, so does trust begin with yourself.
Surprisingly, as you begin to develop that relationship with yourself, no one ever breaks your trust.
Two of my friends, who are in their fifties, were sharing stories about their respective sons, who happen to be in their early twenties.
One friend, who sends money to his son every month, who is studying in the US, told that one day all of a sudden, his son asked for more money this month.
When asked about whether all was good, the son replied that he had a girlfriend and needed some money.
Few weeks later, when this son was back in India with his parents for a vacation, received a text from this girl. She breaks up, saying we are not right for each other. The son replies in assent, and also tells this to his parents.
The other friend, was telling the story of a day when her son had left strawberries at home before leaving for the day. She was quite worried as a mother as to what would the son do if he were hungry during the day.
Later during the day, the son texted a pic of him eating strawberries, that he had asked his girlfriend to bring along. He was calming her down, with the reassurance that he was being taken care of.
Both these instances left me thinking deeply.
To be candid for the first time in public, I was waiting for “him” to send that message to me that we are breaking off, yet never received one. Nor a call back.
That’s not the worst part. Worst part is, I was at home, with my parents, already suffering and unable to share my grief with them.
Because had I shared it with them, they would have either gotten super angry with me for “being in a relationship” or perhaps they would have told me to “forget him”.
Neither of those would’ve helped.
It was so easy for that son to tell his parents that his girlfriend had broken up. I wish it were equally easy for all of us, we would have had way lesser cases of depression and anxiety.
Love and acceptance is the only solution. Especially when they least deserve it.
Five seconds.
Just five seconds.
Just five seconds before he would have known that it’s going to be over.
What would have crossed Kobe Bryant’s mind when that did happen?
Perhaps a feeling of satisfaction and happiness for living a life he was proud of.
Perhaps the fact that he should have said “I love you” more often to people who mattered the most.
Perhaps the tragedy to see his daughter die along with him.
Perhaps none of these.
Whatever that may be, none of us know the time till when we are here.
Neither the one with the most money, nor the one who knows the most influential people.
All of us are cut from the same cloth of anonymity.
That’s what makes this life worth understanding and living.
Understanding and living.
Not postponing. No more “my time will come”, rather, my time is already here.
Right now. Otherwise, literally, never.
When we sit to meditate, we sit for having an appointment with our own thoughts.
It means the thoughts where we felt abandoned, hurt, egoistic, irrational, powerless, etc. all come to the surface.
That’s why most people don’t sit down to meditate.
And that is the reason you must sit down to meditate. Meditate means “tapasya” in Hindi, which in turn means “to burn”.
Burn all your weak habits and attitudes that aren’t serving you my friend.
And if that’s something you want to live with, don’t meditate.
If others are not respecting you, that’s a feeling a lot of people don’t adore. Rather no one does.
A question to consider, before thinking of being respected by others:
“Do I really respect the way I am? Am I really proud of myself?”
Not the ego’s answer, the real answer.
Whatever the answer be (yes or no), you know what to do next.
Hint: Others were never in the picture.
The way you treat yourself…
The way you check phone when you should be sitting silent…
The way you allow yourself to be replaceable…
The way there are people on social media deciding your life…
The way you allow someone else to be an influencer and not your own self…
…is this the right way you should be treating yourself?
Would you treat your most loved one like that and take pride in that?
You may want things to happen quickly.
You may want results to pop out like a toasted bread.
You may also want to show them to others.
However, what takes time, takes time.
The awesome stamina you have after three months of strength training.
A wonderful friendship that has seen the scars of time.
A goal that made you rise earlier every single day.
Great things take time and patience.
And make you more powerful in the process.
Here’s wishing y’all a Merry Christmas!
What could a real conversation do to you?
Wish someone could tell you that you are capable of huge things?
Need real hot truth? Something that doesn’t hurt as well?
You will be served exactly that, however before that I want to ask you something.
What’s the point of letting others control your life?
Why do you need validation of that one person?
Is your life independent of others opinions?
Today’s video contains all about that. Enjoy!
“What do you do,” is a beautiful way to tell people what they shouldn’t be doing.
Most people don’t love their work, and those who do, will have it evident on their faces. So you needn’t ask them anyway.
Instead, create an environment for them where they are ready to open up. For example, “what keeps you happy,” or “what’s something interesting about you that makes you happily weird?”
Our job, as human beings, is not to go to the roots of “human doings”. Our job, is rather to bring out the “being” in every doing.
So, what do you do?