Do you feel intimidated by more successful people?
It’s good to, as long as that is where you want to be.
It’s not good, if you’re taking that from relatives who don’t know where they are going.
Choices we get to make.
Tag: happiness
Today I was supposed to meet some deadlines.
Then my niece came over, and she came specially to play with me.
So I had two choices – to scold her to come uninformed, or to play with her.
I did the latter.
Because you know what?
I have always stood by doing great work. So now I had a great bandwidth to delay.
It’s all about finding that balance. Do epic work to such a large extent, that when you don’t, it doesn’t make any difference:
When you know who you are, you will always be undefeated.
When you know each of your thoughts have a spiral effect, you will always be undefeated.
When you know everything you want is waiting for you, you just need to be the recipient to receive it, you shall be undefeated.
We create a heaven and a hell in ourselves. Not because of what we do, rather because of what we allow ourselves to think about.
Think about.
Think about it.
We have witnessed real life examples of nepotism…at least for Bollywood.
While I reality, nepotism exists everywhere.
You may do all the good work however the boss has someone else as their favourite.
So be it even if you go volunteer for a good cause.
We all are lying on different spectrums of that.
The goal, then, is not to cringe about it.
The goal is to decide what you’re going to do despite it.
Today I turned 29.
Damn! The number is so big! Yet why do I feel so young?
Or in other words, how did I get so lucky to be feeling so amazing while the world is conditioned to making us think that we should start with “settling”?
The answer is that I got insanely lucky to make some wonderful decisions. To choose to get out of company of people like whom I didn’t want to become, and to choose the company of rebels, oddballs and misfits — with a strange combination of my core values guard me daily.
However, the last one year had been a strange (and a blessed) one, with loads of mistakes and loads of learning coming along — which I have made an effort to summarize in 29 points below:
- The best way to get what you want is to be in the company of people who are doing what you want to do. (If not in person, definitely in their social media accounts and books.)
PS: It’s okay to not have a 5-year plan. To have a 3 or 6-month plan is equally fine. (“Do you know what kind of plan never fails? No plan at all!” — Parasite, 2019) - One of the best arts you will learn is the art of mastering cold emails. Sometimes not even with the purpose of cracking a sale, rather just to form a connection. (Why? See point 1)
- I used to eat cheese between my breakfast and lunch as a mid-meal; however a friend copied that habit to eat it as a dessert after dinner! Incorrect timing is the shortcut to failing.
- The world really needs to catch up. Being positioned in a warehouse for work, I realized there was no washroom for women, let alone a dustbin to dispose sanitary napkin. No changes have been made there even after writing it to management. The only question we need to ask is: “Would we still be the same if our sister / daughter were projected to same situations?”
- Your relationship with others is a direct reflection of your relationship with yourself. The best way to love others is to love yourself.
6. Kindness is superpower. Especially when it’s difficult to display it.
7. Gossiping will do more harm than goodness could do peace.
8. Working out with a personal trainer is game changing — in terms of your discipline, diet, follow-up, and of course how you look and feel within.
9. If you decide to walk at least 10,000 steps a day, you will!
10. Meditation is not a trick only for monks in the Himalayas. It is rather the only vaccination against depression.
11. A small hack for those on diet and travelling: Plain rice with curd and papad is a perfect meal. Saves from oily food of restaurants and provides all micro and macro nutrients.
12. In my former job, we went from our respective cities to the HO. In an evening, we went for a get-together to a Chinese restaurant; however I do not consume onion and garlic. So, we finally went to an Indian restaurant where I ordered khichdi, while others continued with having other oily food. Lesson: it’s okay to stand by your dharma in a matter of crisis. The only thing you will get is immense support.
13. When you’re misunderstood, you need to humbly stand for yourself.
14. Law of attraction works like magic. With a caveat — only if you’ve done the hard work. If I have never jumped into a pool and I wish to win a gold medal in Olympics next month, the only thing I deserve is a headache.
15. Not judging your family is the biggest gift to them. They are fighting a tough battle which we aren’t aware of.
16. Sleeping and waking up on time (and no screen time for 1 hour prior and after) will solve almost all your problems.
17. You’re becoming successful when outer success is coupled with smaller and lesser need to seek validation from others.
18. The intuition you have about people is stronger (and always truthful) than the image they’re trying to project. To rephrase, “Empathy cannot be taught. You’re either born with it or you aren’t.” — Ankur Warikoo
19. Like almost all other families, mine is also a dysfunctional one. Yet, their presence is the biggest therapy.
20. It’s okay to have a few or no friends than to have many who laugh at your progress.
21. I live a healthy lifestyle however I was hospitalized twice in last two years. Lying on that hospital bed, I realized this is simply my life shouting out loud to make a change.
22. Patience majnu, patience!
23. Consistent content creation will make you survive when everything else won’t. Even when you’re applying for a position with no qualification, experience of your content will take you to places.
24. Taking time to witness the sunrise is the best way to protect your (in)sanity.
25. In the last year I have been denied chances and been (almost) cursed by people who used to “treat me as their daughter” just because I followed an unconventional path being a female. However, I have also got respect and great work because of the same reason. External or internal validation. We get to choose either every single day.
26. No. No. Absolutely no. With kindness, bro!
27. People do what they know is the best. In 90% cases they aren’t intentional about it.
28. The world inside you needs to get out — through writing, creating videos, making drawings, dancing, singing — anything! It will keep you sane and the world will silently learn from your example.
29. The journey of going within will always settle things on the outside. Always.
That’s it, folks! 29 years, 29 lessons, loads of love from family — such an amazing time to be alive in!
Even if a single word made sense to you, I’ve done my job well! We are, after all, the stories we tell ourselves. Keep rocking folks, and I’ll see you tomorrow!
I’m sure there must be some people whom we have kept out of viewing our Instagram and WhatsApp stories. The reason could be any – whether we don’t want them to know about our life, or we simply don’t want them to be in our life at all!
Think about it for a second: what if someone has already kept you out of their stories?
It’s natural to have a FOMO and feel bad as well.
However, what if that could be one of the best things to happen to you today?
Why do we want to know everything about everyone?
What will be the consequences if we don’t know that? Simple – we would be at more peace. And that’s elusive. Lack of indulgence is greatest power.
What if there is no one who loves me?
This is a scary question.
However the answer is a simple one.
No one actually loves you.
If you feel love is coming to you from someone, it’s because they are so full of love that they radiate it.
If you feel you are loved, that’s because you believe yourself to be worthy of love.
Love – is never to be experienced from others.
You can just fill yourself with so much love that you are radiating and receiving it all the time.
That is your true nature.
It removes all doubts of not being loved.
The question is, what will you do to get back to you?
No prescriptions, just the truth that you deserve needs to be the answer.
It makes it very clear that love is what you are made up of.
I was having a conversation with someone yesterday, who was justifying their anger.
When I told them you always have the option to choose love, they said where do I get so much love from?
Very valid question.
With a simple answer: connect with God because He is the ocean.
Like every relationship, it requires commitment.
Like every deep relationship, it will nurture deeply.
It’s all going to be okay. You matter.
When you look at your work a month ago and laugh at it, you know you’re growing.
Bonus Point: Also, when you look at another piece of work from a month ago and feel proud seeing it, you know you’re creating epic work.
Goodbyes are the most beautiful things on the planet.
When we know we have to say a goodbye, all of a sudden we tend to forget what pain they caused us.
We suddenly feel regret on the pains we know we caused to them.
Why does it happen in the first place?
It happens, because we humans tend to live life on the pedestals of tomorrow.
Will make that call tomorrow.
Will call my sister tomorrow.
Will pay the credit card bill tomorrow.
The way we love tomorrow, if we loved our today the same way – no goodbye would be so painful.
Here’s a parting question: Where in your life would we feel bad, if we didn’t get a chance to say a goodbye?
Warren Buffet says that he enjoys his work so much that he would tap dance to work, and paint on the ceiling of Sistine Chapel.
Life is supposed to be like this.
At a point of time in my life, my life didn’t look like this. I hated my days.
Yet I continued investing in my learning.
And what came out of it, is totally novel.
Life feels blissful. Even if I work more, it is the best version of my life so far. Still to get better each day.
The thing that saved me, that will probably save you as well, is: investing in my learning each day. No matter what.
Everything else is just a byproduct.
1. Never take a decision with a bad mood. See after two weeks of right mood if that was the right decision.
2. Replacing Instagram with Medium is the best emotional investment ever.
3. Paying your bills on time is a reflection of how eased out your life is.
4. Having to tap dance at work is the goal you have signed up for.
5. There is incredible upside in being honest. Never give up on being that.
Some of the life lessons that have been helping me tremendously these days. Hope they will do the same to you.
It’s a feeling that just doesn’t go.
Or sometimes I mix it up with my introversion and love for work.
This is not for likes or comments, just to reveal a wall that’s been hiding.
And I do end up breaking it sometimes, only to come to the stones that built it up in the first place.
That I want to go to the hall and chit chat with my family.
That I want to be optimistic along with sharing that feeling of emptiness within.
That I know that it’s okay to be okay when it’s not okay.
Yet I do none of these.
Because anything that is not stomach ache, fever or diabetes is not a disease – that our society and upbringing has taught us.
Perhaps because they would want to hide it under anger, like everything else.
Perhaps because it requires the need to acknowledge your own inner needs to be able to acknowledge them in other.
Yet on the other side of the tunnel I see hope.
And I trust that hope like sunshine.
And somehow we will manage to come out of it.
I don’t know how to end this, yet this is not the end. For sure.
A day will come…
When you will enter a crowded metro
Take out a snack from your bag and eat it there, and clean hands with your jeans.
And then you’ll smile at finally having reached there.
It’ll make you appreciate the metro crowd.
And when you do it, you’ll realise this solitude was all that you needed.
The best time to appreciate what you have, is now.
For a kid, the parents would never abuse them.
Until they do. For every interaction they have with their kids.
The abuse, sadly, is something which could not be filtered for profanity because it does not use profane words.
It comes in mild words and powerful programming like:
“You won’t be able to do it.”
“Don’t do this. You will fail.”
“You are no good.”
Parents keep telling this to kids, until it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
None of us had a perfect childhood. That’s not the problem, that’s the solution.
Because now we have the pen to write the script. As difficult as it may sound, we all write our script daily.
We may choose the script today. Since it is presumably not going to be a repeated one, it is going to take efforts. Yet without efforts, do you want your today to be equally self abusive?
1. Watering plants makes you feel humbler and happier.
2. Your parents need nothing other than your presence.
3. Cleaning with wiper is both abs and back workout, sweeping the floor is a great cardio.
4. Home cooked chocolate cake is super delicious.
5. Life is wonderful without TV serials!
To face failures is great.
To share it is greater, because you are being vulnerable.
To share it with those who will make fun of it and perhaps treat you with disrespect – shows you need to change your circle.
People will not understand you. They will expect from you, yet they won’t probably reciprocate it.
What to do then?
Should you also reciprocate?
Well, we all have tried it and it never worked.
The only thing that could be the solution for everything, every single thing is to keep yourself strong from inside. It’s an insurance no one could take away.
Like every insurance, you have to pay consistent premium (aka learning) in order to actually avail the benefits.
Like every insurance, you will have to stop frivolous spends (hanging around with those people) to be able to pay premium without fail.
Instagram stories shows the world what you are doing.
The only problem being: no one really gets happy on seeing the fact that you are doing great, and they aren’t!
The point then, is to have a life that others would want to draw inspiration and action from, instead of just allowing them to tap tap tap and criticise you and go away.
It’s a difficult process – to go away from what the world likes towards what they really really want.
The only easy process is eating mindlessly. Everything else takes efforts.