Met incredible people. Or met people that drained your energy.
Though both of these are good, what is great is how much time you spent with yourself alone.
If not, then whatever we do is going to be a replica of the world, not an originality.
Tag: joy
Recently, someone whom I trusted professionally betrayed my trust – of course, professionally.
Not for the first time. Rather for the nth time.
Then why am I still stuck?
When is the right time to leave?
Why don’t I teach them a lesson?
Honestly I don’t know. Because no coin is two-dimensional with two sides, every coin is a 3D art with multiple aspects. Not that I am not able to see clearly, rather I am waiting for the right time.
There are multiple virtues of being young and there is a vice of acting on impulse because you’re young. Never let the vice ruin your life forever. Thinking before acting is a superpower. Not acting for long is lack of trust in yourself. Finding that balance is what makes you irresistable.
August 2017.
It was a usual day at work.
I went to the Operations Head, asking to share the records and documents needed for my work.
Back then, I used to work as an Internal Auditor, and the core job was visiting branches and conducting audits, with the help of branch operations team.
This fine day, as I was going back to my desk after talking with the Operations Head, when she called my name and said, “You always look stunning!”
And it took a moment for my mask of “follow me I am the auditor” to more of a humble, kinder human.
That of course, didn’t affect my work, however, it did tell me that it’s super important to appreciate people for their little things.
As my bosses used to say: “Neither of you are against each other, you both are working for the bank.”
PS: If you do not want AI to replace you, learn from this girl who showed the human side of her.
PPS: No, it didn’t affect my report however it did affect how I reflect on life.
And that’s super important 🙂
Five ways to have better client relationships:
1. Always give more than you are paid for.
2. Listen to them even though you think you are right.
3. Trust they know their business better – and that trust leads to better work together.
4. If you are not able to deliver work on time, let them know.
5. Work on their work as if it were your own work. What you will see is magic!
Hard work. Work. Execution. Power. Results.
Rinse and repeat.
Sometimes I wish I was rich and famous.
Haha, isn’t that an ironical statement looking at my other posts?
Of course, it is.
However, here’s why I wish so:
Today I had a rift with a very good friend. She’s been super-supportive through some good valleys of life. However, each week we work on a project where I am supposed to proofread a document and she is supposed to ship it. There are other and bigger projects as well that we both work on. (This was a humble rant to show this is not only what we do :D)
So occasionally when we are not able to deliver on our project, either of us texts the other person to follow up. Last week, she did not text me, and as I realised I had to do the work, she had already shipped by then. This week, I followed up with her, however, she did not want to give me the access of the original doc (I know this because I specifically asked for credentials which the boss wanted her to share with me) so she sent me an email.
After doing the edits, I sent her the email. She responded with requiring me to highlight the changes. I said editing the core doc takes lesser time, and I do respect that you do not want to share your credentials, however, it will take more time for me to highlight that. She came back with doing it herself, along with two more solutions that were invalid according to me, however, after this I said I would have loved to do it for you had you told me straight away instead of doing things to make me do more efforts, and also apologised if anything hurt her.
No response from her.
Honestly, it felt bad.
Not because she did not “respect” me by responding. Rather because I thought we were friends and I deserved a communication and clarity from a friend.
It also felt sad because she works at one of THE top companies of the world and I have left my job to pursue writing full time (PS: I do make money that is more than my job as CA however that’s for another day) however I do not have that title with me. Maybe this was not her intention. The world, though, by default respects the ones with titles and the ones who flaunt of having more money.
I felt sad. Cried over this small thing that perhaps even doesn’t matter. Felt sad because I couldn’t create a good relationship with someone whom I thought was a friend. Sad because aren’t we supposed to be honest with our friends? Sad because I did not wake up in the morning to “grab hold” of her credentials, rather was genuinely performing my duty. Sad because maybe because of this we may never be vulnerable with each other again, however I do love her as a friend and do not want to let her go.
But, out of pure love for a human being, I wish we both brought more love onto the table.
Yet, it is the role of good friends to respect and accept each other as they are. So here we go, I’ll work on not questioning this part of her (she definitely must have had a reason) and rather be kinder towards her.
But it felt bad.
Perhaps this won’t matter a month or even a week later. Perhaps none of us is wrong. Perhaps both of us are. Perhaps she doesn’t even remember this. Perhaps she will do something good to me tomorrow out of pure intentions and we will forget about this.
However, after a leap of today’s sadness, will come multiple new lessons and thousand new ways to love those who already offer themselves to you.
True love, is loving your friends without waiting for them to love you back. Don’t hold grudges however keep a mental note to not to offer them your vulnerability again.
“I just hate this job.
I’m gonna quit!”
Have you ever felt this way about a job / client / internship?
If you have, we all are a part of the same boat.
However, here’s a few question:
– Do we want to quit because of envy?
– Is this the same way with every job?
– What kind of life do you want?
I came across this startling realisation while reading “Your Next Five Moves” by Patrick Bet-David, and the enormous clarity he offered in an instance in the book.
And when you do, here’s another piece of advice from Mark Manson: “The person you marry is the person you fight with. The house you buy is the house you repair. The dream job you take is the job you stress over. Everything comes with an inherent sacrifice — whatever makes us feel good will also inevitably make us feel bad. What we gain is also what we lose. What creates our positive experiences will define our negative experiences. This is a difficult pill to swallow. This is why our problems are recursive and unavoidable.”
Finding answers to these questions isn’t easy, however, that isn’t what you signed up for in the first place, right?
So, what kind of life do you want?
With WFH in place for almost all of us, how do we know if we are going in the right direction?
Yes there are our coworkers who will constantly give us feedback, support us when we need, and also appreciate us when we perform well.
However, to know if we are on the right track in our lives is a different ballgame together.
Here’s how we can know it: By looking at the best in the world at it. (Online of course!)
When we set our standards at best, we get to know what we need course-correct on, and how we can execute it.
For example, yesterday my cousin and I decided to have a micro workout challenge. One game of arm wrestling, 10 push-ups and 10 jump squats – best of two. Since I have been working out for more than 8 years, I won. That’s not the point, however. Point is, when my cousin was doing push ups and jump squats – he was performing an incorrect technique in both of them. So let’s say he was able to perform only three repetitions, his next step would be to be able to perform four of them – without being aware that the first repetition itself needed course correction.
This wasn’t a remark on his skills at all, because he is phenomenal at a lot of things that I am not. However, I could point this out because I have small bit of understanding around it.
Imagine what would happen if we set our standards in whatever we did – against the best people in the world!
How would that change the trajectory of our learning?
How would that make our learning curve better?
How would we be a better person if we had such high regards for our standards, instead of simply using our previous skills as a barometer – which weren’t remarkable anyway?
We all go through different layers of friendships.
Starting with school. Then college friends. Then friends in our jobs. Succeeded by our latest friends.
In all these stages, we have some “hello” kind of friends, some are good friends, and some become our lifelong friends.
And as much as we believe that our latest friends are our best friends (of course, they are the ones who pop up on our Instagram stories), the older the friend, the greater the understanding.
No matter you cry and talk about your boss with your latest friends, your college friends actually know where that is coming from.
No matter how much nostalgic we are with our college friends and our wonderful memories, our school friends do not need that – they are our by default psychiatrists and psychologists.
Every relationship gets stronger with the passage of time, of course, when it is nurtured consistently.
Time is power in friendships, and not investing that is losing on exponential rewards of love and belonging to a community.
“Knock knock!”
“Who’s there?”
“It’s me!”
“Who me?”
“Your love…”
The one behind the gate doesn’t respond.
“Knock knock!”
“Who’s there?”
“You.”
“Who ‘you’?”
“I am You…”
The one behind the gate doesn’t respond again.
“Knock knock!”
“Who’s there?”
This time, no response comes from the other side.
That’s when, the one behind the gate opens it up.
I usually equate this story to the love for work.
Back in the day when I used to be unhappy in my corporate job, the most fulfilling moments were the ones when I got beyond “I hate my job” and did the work because it brought moments of joy.
Right now as I am a freelance writer, the discipline is still required despite I love this work the most. And the days I just work and let it flow, are the days that I enjoy the most, instead of pondering about “I have to be disciplined to write.”
“Work is God made real,” said Kahlil Gibran, in The Prophet.
Whenever we have gone beyond the realms of “someone else” and “me” and allowed the joy to emerge, is when we have felt most fulfilled.
Fulfillment isn’t a miracle that shows up. It’s something that shows up when we don’t allow our lower faculties to play the game.
Last weekend, I was having a casual chat with a writer friend.
After exchanging pleasantries, I thanked him for helping me bag a wonderful client, to which he responded, “Thanks to YOU, it’s your hard work.” And thus, we continued being humble.
As the conversation proceeded, he told me he had also applied for a writing engagement, which was finally bagged by me.
Those words of him just moved me. Here I was, getting envious of the number of clients and interesting assignments he has, and here he was, perhaps having the same emotion as me.
Too often, we take the most important things in life for granted.
The work that brings food on our plate.
The parents (no matter how weird they are) that make us fight for our existence 🙂
The friends who make us realise we aren’t alone.
The colleagues and clients who understand us when we had expected to be fired.
And most importantly, counting the endless blessings in our life when the Life we have today was the life we had dreamt of years ago.
How will we get more and be more if we aren’t grateful for what we have already been blessed with?
Thank you, my dear friend, your humility was always an inspiration for me. Now you are an inspiration to be grateful for my blessings. You rock! Like always 🙂
What is the cost of living life on your own terms?
You will be criticised by people who aren’t living their life on their own terms.
Don’t blame them, have sympathy for them.
Don’t wait for them to say sorry, you forgive them.
More than anything else, don’t stop when they want to live life according to you. They aren’t happy, you please don’t give up on yours because of their lack of it. The best way to make someone happy is to be happy yourself
There was one instance last week, where my Mom needed my help.
And I couldn’t.
More so, I’m glad I couldn’t.
Here’s why:
I do not have membership of any OTT: Netflix, Prime, Hotstar – none.
This is something that I’m proud of – for saving hours of my precious time.
So last week when my Mom missed an episode of a serial, she asked me to search for it in Hotstar app.
And lo’ an behold, as much a techie I am, I couldn’t search for it! Tried and made errors, still no success!
A beautiful example of why ignorance is bliss and superpower sometimes.
While my Mom managed to forgive me, I just loved this non-awareness of mine.
Our mind, of course, is a beautiful garden that doesn’t deserve the seeds of hatred from the TV.
Do you have such a weird habit?
1. Never type an e-mail in an impulse.
2. Attend lesser (read: no) parties.
3. Don’t assume, simply ask.
4. If at all you assume about people, assume the most positive outcome. Assuming about work isn’t even allowed until made clear.
5. Read Naval Ravikant daily.
Trust yourself, as much as you trust others.
Trust yourself more often.
Trust others more often.
Trust the pain, because it solely is responsible for making you enjoy the joy of life.
Trust your hard work, it never goes to vain.
Trust your parents, even when you don’t want to.
Trust your friends, they are there for you – anytime and any place.
Trust your work, coz it will go out into the world and do more good.
More than anything else, trust yourself. You have handled worse in the past. This too, shall pass.
For several months, I’ve been trying to change a habit of mine, which is: to not check work related WhatsApp messages and emails on Sundays.
However, despite multiple efforts, wasn’t able to get off the habit.
Same thing happened yesterday. I attended to work messages in the first half.
In the second half, I went to play badminton with my nephews and nieces. As a result, when I came back, still I didn’t open their WhatsApps. I didn’t have the urge in the first place!
It shows the power of physical activity on our mind, and how much controlling power we have.
No matter how important or urgent the work is, nothing is more important than the much-needed nothingness.
The story of overnight success.
1. The “rasoda” jam singer Yashraj Mukhate recently moved from 30K+ followers on Instagram to 943K+ followers.
2. The singer Lisa Mishra recorded a combo of “Taareefaan” and “Let me love you” and few days later, she was called by Rhea Kapoor to sing a playback.
3. Elizabeth Gilbert was struggling before “Eat Pray Love’ came up, after which she even graced the Oscars.
What we see as overnight success of all these people, we fail to recognise that:
1. They had been creating content for long before the “overnight success” happened.
2. The life altering success happened just once, however they continued their relevance by working hard on future projects, instead of being complacent.
What is this trying to teach us?
1. It takes the good old hard work to get to the success.
2. It takes hard work even when we don’t feel like doing it.
3. Maybe very few of us will have this overnight success, however, we will always have a version of success where we were proud while going to bed, instead of being regretful.
It’s a choice we get to make, every single day.
What is the cost of your dreams?
Everything.
You will be misunderstood. You will be ridiculed. You will be criticised.
All of this will happen at the times you need the most support.
All of this will happen when you least expect it.
All this will happen when you need a clean mind to execute on your dreams.
Despite this, please continue!
Despite this, please move ahead!
Because if you don’t, those people have already won. And you know what, those people are not intending anything bad against you, they just don’t know better.
And if you’ll follow them, won’t that be the same treatment to yourself?
The goal of all problems is just one:
To get you closer to your goals and your Best Self.
Use your problems to get better. And show the world yourself about how strong you are.
When you’re not listening to your heart, things will fall apart.
When you do things that you don’t want to, things will still fall apart.
When you sell your soul, there would be nothing left.
Living life on your terms is difficult – this is the thought process fit into our brain.
However, when you live life on the terms of the society by killing yourself daily, you are already dead.
The best life advice ever is: Life life on your own terms. Everything else will just fall for you. (Try falling for yourself, baby! )
We feel great when they badmouth others. Yet we feel superbad when someone else does it for us.
We do not feel anything while making others feel lonely. Yet we never want to feel that emotion ourselves.
We love to be loved. Yet do not love.
We feel great on doing something and useless on doing nothing – whereas doing nothing makes doing something worthwhile.
We want more time, yet are poor managers of our own.
The irony that needs to be solved in the world starts with one person solving it for themselves.
1. If you want to capture your truth to show it to others, you have already started living a lie.
2. A great life is where you are humble even when you don’t know how to.
3. Protecting your mindset is the best insurance.
4. Challenging yourself is the best safety.
5. And a little reminder: You are the product of five people you hang around with.